south downs national park

From The Argus

Campaigners were celebrating today as the Government signed into existence the new South Downs National Park - and announced it would be bigger than previously planned.

Environment Secretary Hilary Benn, on a visit to Ditchling in East Sussex, said the Park's provisional boundary would be stretched to encompass a number of additional areas following lobbying by residents and conservationists.

Why does this government ALWAYS seem to change the details at the last moment and expand the area covered by legislation it signs? It can't even sign off on a National Park without some form of mission creep.

In other news Worthing Council is trying to sell off 190 acres of land that fall within the newly created National Park.

and unemployment figures are so high because?

The Telegraph reports

There were 1.2 million households whose total welfare benefits were worth £15,000 or more in 2007/08, the Department of Work and Pensions said. And there were 300,000 households who received £20,000 from the state – more than the take-home pay of a worker on the average salary.

The article compares the numbers claiming these amounts compared to 1997 when Labour came to power which is slightly disingenuous because the situations of the families claiming 'over £15k' now might have meant in 1997 that they could claim £14,500.

The fact remains that the system allows over 1 million benefit claimants to receive the same as the modal wage in the UK. That is no incentive to get a job, no incentive to contribute, no incentive at all.

I don't actually have any answers as to what to do to change the situation. The whole system currently seems to be set up to keep people at a particular income threshold, whether they are working or on benefits. If I was cynical I would suggest it's a deliberate strategy to divide the nation into distinct financial classes with little chance of mobility between them. Why struggle to improve your financial situation, and maybe leave a legacy for your offspring, if the state is going to help itself, more than once, to large chunks of it? You could just as easily sit back, accept the 'generous' handouts, watch the farce that is Xfactor, stop thinking, go to sleep happy .. .. .. zzzzzzzzzzzzz

ramsey street - technology fail

Neighbours this evening (mrsff was watching it, not me) had one character sneakily installing a keylogger on the macbook of another character.


Erm.


It didn't require an admin password which ALL macs do when installing new software. If it had been Windows .. .. .. but not OSX.


FAIL

feeding the ducks? That's a £75 fine

Another case of 'you couldn't make it up' reported by the Telegraph

A mother was given a £75 litter fine for feeding the ducks at her local park but her son was allowed to carry on because a warden said he was too young to prosecute.

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Bread is biodegradable and therefore not a litter problem. The end.

acpo 93 page bike manual

After some speculation that ACPO were introducing a two volume 93 page guide for police who ride bikes BikeRadar contacted them to ask if it was true.

But when BikeRadar contacted ACPO we were told that was not the case. A spokesperson told us: “This work was neither requested nor drawn up by ACPO and we do not endorse it. It was put forward by a group of well-meaning police officers with an interest in this area. ACPO will not be taking it forward.”

The BBC also has coverage of this story, and that this manual will not be produced, under the headline Police chiefs ditch cycle manual but wait until the very last pair of sentences to reveal that the manual was

" neither requested nor drawn up by ACPO and we do not endorse it. It was put forward by a group of well-meaning police officers with an interest in this area. ACPO will not be taking it forward."

If you only skim the beginning of the BBC piece you might think that the booklet was commissioned by ACPO.

you can't publish that - change it quick

So when I clicked on the article I found no details of the NHS work, or alcohol project, that this lady was involved with. How strange .. .. .. fortunately News Sniffer keeps a record of all changes to BBC News pages and here is the original text with the changes highlighted



30 seconds minutes* to edit out her NHS credentials and her work with alcohol control? It's almost as if there is something to hide from her bosses either at NHS Grampian or Scottish Government Alcohol Brief Interventions.


*In a moment of clarity I realised, quite ironically, that I also needed to edit something I'd published. Ooooops!

it's your own fault say friends of the earth

From The Argus

Environment campaigners claim the bin strike should remind people to reduce their household waste.

Friends of the Earth said some of the piles of rubbish which have built up in Brighton and Hove could have been avoided if people were reusing, recycling and composting more.

Alison Walters, from the group, said: "Looking at the waste piling up around the city much of it could be recycled and food waste can be composted.

"We need to take responsibility for what we put out on the street.”

If the refuse collection operatives weren't on strike then there wouldn't be piles of rubbish and recycling on the streets Alison. I was in Brighton this week and the mounds of waste growing around the communal street bins are hardly going to attract people to the city. After all the residents are forced to pay ever larger sums of Council Tax that provides for this service so the service should be provided. Simples

discrimination in religion

A CiF article by Riazat Butt covering a debate on sex discrimination in religion ends with the paragraph

The debate on this legislation – when it comes to parliament – should not be about disestablishment nor whether parliament should involve itself in religious affairs. It is about, as Key himself said, whether the two houses should endorse something that is illegal. A law is being broken when women bishops will be subject to discrimination because of their gender and it is up to parliament to intervene.

Is parliament going to intervene if there is sex discrimination in any religion, organisation or group? I can think of a few who would not welcome external meddling.

headache

CCTV camera surveillance officers in the Isle of Man have gone for a long lie down after a new type of camera which is programmed to detect "out of the ordinary" behaviour was installed.

Unfortunately the software programmers didn't install 'Student Filters' and since then every person of school age on the island has been dancing, miming, almost dropping litter, or walking backwards within range of the camera. The resultant frantic zooming in and out has caused all of the operatives of the system to suffer from mahooosive* migraines.

Council officials have denied any responsibility for the oversight claiming that central government refused to pay for the necessary additional software and have pleaded with local schools to help them identify the culprits.






*Juniorff2's current favourite word, normally used in the context "teh internets is mahooosive"

smiling makes them wonky

I've reproduced the photographic evidence from the Telegraph that proves that smiling gives you wonky boobs. In the pose on the left the "what time do you call this?" scowl can be clearly seen above a beautifully central cleavage. Compare that to the pose on the right where that poor girl's bust is all over the place. The breast on the right of the picture (her left breast) seems larger than its partner. Drastic action is needed to restore this young lady's bosoms to their natural state. Someone has to do the chivalrous thing proposition her for anal sex immediately. It's for her own good.. .. ..

edm 2266

EDM 2266

CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE 2

Vaz, Keith

That this House is extremely concerned that children and young people may gain access to the newly-released video game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, which has scenes of extreme violence; recognises that this game has been certified for those aged 18 years and over; believes that the packaging on games containing scenes of violence needs to be much clearer; notes that nearly half of all eight to 11 year olds use the internet without supervision; further notes that parents, the Government, retailers and the video games industry need to work together to increase awareness of the dangers to children and young people of playing violent games; and calls on the Government to increase the rate of prosecution of retailers who sell video games to young people who are under age.

What has the fact that half of eight to eleven year old use the internet unsupervised got to do with the release of a console game Keith? I'm also unsure as to what precisely the dangers of violent video games are. This article about violence in the USA and video games seems to strongly suggest that there is no link between violent behaviour and violent video games.. .. ..

blow dry and wax sir?

From the BBC

Four Australian men are to appear in court after allegedly being found naked in a car wash by a police patrol.

Police were called by the operators of Smart Wash in Biloela in central Queensland and arrived before the car wash had begun its full cycle.

They allege the four had undressed and were soaping themselves while their female companions took photographs.

Sgt Adrian Riecks told the Rockhampton News that the men were lucky the system had not got further into its cycle because it could have caused serious injury.

WTF? Really .. .. what the fuck? Unless they were either a) stupidly drunk or b) planning to run out before the brushes started. Why Why WHY?

tango ads - the asa verdict

The Advertising Standards Authority received 82 complaints against the recent Tango poster campaign. All three posters drew complaints saying they were offensive, irresponsible and unsuitable for public display. The ASA disagreed on all counts.

Particularly amusing is the complaint about the poster

"TOO MUCH TANGO MADE ME SHAVE MY NAN. INNIT".

This poster drew two of the 82 complaints one of which

said the ad implied the shaving of one's vaginal hair

Who calls their mimsy a nan? Fucking Yoni .. ..

how to get off your nutt

The recently fired head of the ACMD David Nutt revealed to Sun readers yesterday that he is involved with the development of a synthetic alcohol replacement.

A SUBSTANCE said to give the feeling of booze without the health risks is being developed by controversial ex Government drugs tsar Professor David Nutt. The solution is added to liquid. It is claimed anyone using it will get the alcohol high without the hangover or deadly liver damage. There is even an antidote which would allow a user to DRIVE home after taking it.

On the one hand we have alcohol, a natural by-product of anaerobic fermentation, on the other we have lab produced synthetic alcohol (which will obviously not be methanol). Which would you rather trust?

WE have been poisoning ourselves for 2,000 years.

Actually we've been producing alcohol for longer than that. I'm not 2,000 years old, I'm not even 200 years old, WE haven't been poisoning ourselves for 2,000 years .. .. ..

I am working on a prototype of a synthetic alcohol. We can make someone feel pleasantly inebriated then reverse it.

So not for those times when you want to get rip-roaringly drunk then? How do you define 'pleasantly inebriated'? Different people will have different tolerances to your synthetic alcohol in the same way that people have different tolerances to real alcohol .....

Law enforcement could even have the antidote to use on revellers who have used the solution.

Go out, have a good time, the police will forcibly sober you up at the end of the night.

We have a partial alternative tested on volunteers. With Government backing, the first ever synthetic alcohol could be available in three to five years.

After reading that does anyone have that nagging feeling in the back of their heads that Professor Nutt might not be the innocent hero he has been painted to be? I like many thought the manner of his dismissal was wrong, the reasons given were suspect, but now I'm starting to question whether there was more to it than meets the eye.

edm 2257

Proposed by Lynne Jones

09.11.2009

CADBURY AS A BRITISH COMPANY

That this House celebrates 230 years of chocolate production in Bournville and hopes that the iconic brands of Cadbury and Bournville will remain in the ownership of an innovative British company faithful to the principles of its socially responsible founder.

So the Labour Party has driven the country's finances into the ground and you're worried about who owns Cadbury? I think there are more pressing issues for you to be attending to Lynne .. ..

three more acmd resignations

That's now 1 sacking and 5 resignations out of a total of 31 members.

The latest three to go are Dr John Marsden, Dr Ian Ragan and Dr Simon Campbell. How many more are likely to follow?

ukba finds 18 illegal workers

The BBC reports

Eighteen illegal immigrants have been caught working in Leicestershire as part of a crackdown in the county.

The UK Border Agency (UKBA) said nine men and one woman, aged between 28 and 53 and from India, were arrested in Leicester on 3 November.

All of the businesses visited have been issued with on-the-spot penalty notices for employing illegal workers and could face an additional fine of up to £10,000 for each illegal worker.

An additional £10k fine? I wonder what you'd have to do to avoid that .. .. .. become Attorney General perhaps?

climate change as bad as war

From the Argus

The threat to humans from climate change is on a par with a world war, a Sussex MP has said. Des Turner, Labour MP for Brighton Kemptown, made the comparison during a Parliamentary debate on global warming, and on the political negotiations to secure a successor to the Kyoto agreement at the Copenhagen summit next month.

Dr Turner said the achievement of a legally binding agreement from Copenhagen would be a "tremendous first for the planet".

I'm just pleased you're standing down at the next election Des (even if you are Bigface's stepdad).

the empty homes agency

This article in the Argus about Brighton Council bringing empty homes back into use includes the observation that

The announcement comes as the Empty Homes Agency reported that the number of homes in the UK standing empty has topped one million.

The Empty Homes Agency? Never heard of them until now. Who are they? Their site says

The Empty Homes Agency was set up as a housing association with charitable status, however we neither own or manage any empty property. The Empty Homes Agency is an independent campaigning charity, which exists to highlight the waste of empty property in England and works with others to devise and promote solutions to bring empty property back into use.

We were set up in 1992 in response to the high number of empty properties and the crisis with homelessness - something had to be done! In the early days we worked on bringing individual empty properties back into use and encouraged local authorities to implement empty property strategies.

Campaigning charity .. .. .. shall we look at the Charity commission homepage for some information about funding?

Except I can't find their registered charity number on their website, the charity commission searches for EHA, Empty Homes Agency and The Empty Homes Agency all throw up nothing. None of their press releases that I've read include their charity number even though they all bear the claim that they are a charity.

So who are the EHA, who funds them and why are they so coy? I smell a fakecharity .. ..

five a day?

From the Telegraph

Prisoners have been banned from buying fruit to stop them from making homebrew following a rise in assaults. Bosses at HMP Dartmoor, which houses 650 category C prisoners, decided to clamp down on fruit - including apples and pears - fruit juices, tins of fruit, Marmite and syrup to stop inmates brewing up hooch. Prisoners used Marmite, the yeast extract, to make the hooch after finding that mixing it with fruit juice and letting it ferment created a powerful drink.

To make alcohol you normally need yeast so banning Marmite should have had the desired effect rather than banning fruit. Dolts. I'm also wondering when the Dept of Health will be insisting that this decision is reversed as it goes against their change4life message?

student sells 'first kiss'

From the Argus

Amanda has decided not to kiss anyone for a year as part of a social experiment.

In the meantime she has been taking bids from across the world to auction off her ‘first’ kiss after 12 months.

Amanda, a Masters student studying Fine Art, said the experiment was designed to make a kiss a commodity and see how people respond.

I'm sure the picture does Amanda no justice but I won't be bidding! I have to wonder why anyone would bid for a kiss when so many have offered their virginity in similar stunts .. .. ..

scrappage scheme : cause and effect

On the 5th of November the BBC had an article titled "Scrappage sees UK car sales surge"

New car sales recorded their biggest increase so far this year in October, helped by the scrappage scheme. "Encouragingly, there has also been an increase in demand in the fleet and business sectors, which will be critical in sustaining recovery next year," said SMMT chief executive Paul Everitt.

Which seems a very positive story about the success of the government scheme to stimulate the motor industry.

Today the BBC have an article "UK trade gap widens in September"

The UK trade deficit widened more than expected in September, led by a jump in car imports as Britain's scrappage scheme helped foreign carmakers. The difference between what the UK exports and what it imports was £7.2bn in September, well above analyst expectations of a £6.1bn deficit. September's overall trade deficit was the biggest since January.

Who'd have thunk that one might cause the other?

no wallpaper = unfit parent

From the Telegraph

A pregnant woman has condemned police after they reported her to social services for being a potentially unfit mother because her home was half-decorated. Mary Cooke invited a policewoman into her house after she had dialled 999 to report a speeding car which nearly hit her outside her home in Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffs.

However, the 27-year-old was left furious after she claims the officer raised concerns with the council’s children’s services department over the state of her property.

Mrs Cooke said she and her husband Peter are redoing the wallpaper at their semi-detached house and that she was “sickened” police had judged her on its appearance.

Welcome to 1984 Labour style.

endangered technology

The Telegraph has a list of the top 10 endangered gadgets in 2010

1. DVD players
2. Fax machine
3. Analogue TV
4. The landline phone
5. Mobile phone charger
6. Wii-mote
7. Sat Navs
8. Dongle
9. The computer mouse
10. Chip and pin credit cards

So what will cause the demise of each of these items? Computer technology, broadband access and smart phones such as the iPhone will apparently bring about the end of Sat Navs, landline phones, fax machines and DVD players. Analogue TV is nearly gone with the digital switchover still progressing on target for 2012. Dongles though are going to be around as long as there are USB ports and the wii-mote, with it's installed userbase of over 50 million units might be around for a little while longer yet.

No reasons are given for the humble computer mouse or credit cards. Personally can't see these items leaving us just yet, once again due to the massive installed userbase. There's nothing like good investigative reporting to uncover future trends .. .. ..

statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy multi-perpetrator rape.

From the Telegraph

Scotland Yard has instructed officers not to use the phrase 'gang rape' to describe such crimes because it is too 'emotive' a term. Under new guidance, they have been told to refer to sex attacks that involve more than one culprit as 'multi-perpetrator rapes' instead.

"Gang rape" is too emotive a term? Someone has been sequentially raped by a group of people and the term used to describe it is too emotive? What drugs are these people taking?

Almost six years ago Sir John Stevens, then the Metropolitan Police Commissioner, ignited a row by objecting to use of the term 'gang rape' in an article by The Daily Telegraph, choosing to refer to it as "group rape".

Group rape seems so much less threatening than gang rape, doesn't it?

I don't really know why there is a need to diminish the horror that people feel about gang rape. Calling it 'multi-perpetrator rape' may be an all-encompassing term that accurately covers more attacks but it has less impact and also ruins one of sickipedia's most popular jokes.

more carnage

Sky News reports that

Growing concerns about the student bar crawls being organised by a UK promoter have led the National Union of Students to call for a Government ban.

After banning Carnage from advertising on NUS property (fair enough) had no effect the NUS now wants their direct competition banned. How very grown up.

Chris Sorek, chief executive of Drinkaware, echoed the NUS concerns saying events of this kind implicitly encourage people to drink heavily - if not worse.

So you will be condemning the NUS drinking activities if only to maintain the air of impartiality?

anti-social driving?

The BBC reports that

Nearly 90 motorists were stopped during a day of action to target anti-social driving in a Surrey town. Thursday's campaign in Ashford led to 87 drivers being stopped for offences including speeding, using a mobile phone and failing to wear a seat belt.

Since when has "failure to wear a seat belt" been anti-social?

secret inquiries

From the BBC

MPs have backed plans to allow some deaths to be investigated by a closed inquiry rather than an inquest jury, despite fears about "secret justice". MPs voted to overturn amendments made in the Lords to allow intercept evidence to be used in inquests.

This openness and transparency .. .. .. it's contagious, isn't it?

Comedy quote of the piece has to be Jack Straw who said

there was "grave anxiety"

Possibly the most appropriate turn of phrase, given the story .. .. ..

iphone virus ikee

I got an email from The Laddie this morning about this BBC article with the headline "Worm attack bites at Apple iPhones". It starts

The first worm to infect the Apple iPhone has been discovered spreading "in the wild" in Australia.

The self-propagating program changes the phone's wallpaper to a picture of 80s singer Rick Astley with the message "ikee is never going to give you up".

At this point many iPhone owners may be fearful that their cherished device may be susceptible but if you read on you find out that

The worm, known as ikee, only affects "jail-broken" phones, where a user has removed Apple's protection mechanisms to allow the phone to run any software.

So if you have an unmodified iPhone you are perfectly safe from this code. But the BBC refuse to let that get in the way of a decent scare story. The article continues

Experts say the worm is not harmful but more malicious variants could follow.

"The creator of the worm has released full source code of the four existing variants of this worm," wrote Mikko Hypponen of security firm F-secure.

"This means that there will quickly be more variants, and they might have nastier payload than just changing your wallpaper."

More variants 'could' follow, they 'might' have a nastier payload.

So how do you avoid this virus? By not modifying your phone or by changing the default system password. The only victims of the virus are those who think they know what they are doing

sarcastic fringehead

Not a Paul Merton related post .. .. ..









I've just watched these things on the telly




and the fight at about 2:30 in reminds me greatly of the movie Predator. EEEEK!

fire service advice

The BBC reports the words of fire service employee Tom Pye. He recommends that people should order takeaways when they are drunk rather than cooking after a night out.

Has no-one told him? He should be condemning drinking not advising people they should eat unhealthy food!!!

How long before he has to 'retire' for this double sin?

isle of man fightclub

From the BBC:

Two men have been arrested by police in the Isle of Man after a fight broke out in the smoking area of a nightclub.

The incident happened in the Colours club in Central Promenade, Douglas, in on Saturday night.

Two men, both aged in their 20s, were arrested on suspicion of public order offences and assault.

A police spokesman said: "The very nature of this incident would lead us to believe that a number of witnesses were present."

Police are urging anyone with information to contact them.

The report doesn't explicitly state that the men were smoking, or that smoking was the cause of the confrontation so why is it important report that the fight was in the smoking area unless it is to further demonise smokers?

a brief lesson in guerilla marketing

Here

2875 drug related words

The Telegraph has lists of the names for drugs that the Police National Legal Database (PNLD)has put together for the police. Please read carefully, there may be a test later .. .. ..

A-B

C-D

E-H

I-Q

R-Z

Mixing and matching terms from the list then BINGO WINGS, the unattractive flappy skin that hangs down from the upper arm of a certain size and age of lady, also means to inject heroin / cocaine.

According to the list HEAVEN can mean cocaine or heroin, HELL means crack, HEAVEN AND HELL means PCP. All very confusing.

the mind boggles

Dizzy attacks left me spinning

Did the repeated FOI requests about the Number 10 shop sales really cause that much consternation?

*more shock*

In the previous post I quoted from the comments made by Canadian finance minister Jim Flaherty and his reaction to Gordon's proposal for Tobin taxes. He said quite bluntly

"We are not in the business of raising taxes, we are in the business of lowering taxes in Canada. It is not an idea we would look at."

Looking at the BBC coverage of this story, Headlined "Lukewarm reaction to UK tax plan" they twice quote Mr Flaherty as saying

"not an idea we would look at".

which diminishes the impact and strength of the rebuttal of the idea. No prizes for guessing why they only included the partial quote.

*shock* world turns against financial saviour

The Evening Argus reports

Prime Minister Gordon Brown suffered an embarrassing rebuff when he floated the prospect of a new tax worldwide, only to have it flatly and publicly rejected by the United States and other major financial players.

Mr Brown raised the possibility of a worldwide levy on financial transactions in a speech to the world's most powerful finance ministers.

But US Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner flatly rejected the idea, as did Canadian finance minister Jim Flaherty.

Mr Geithner told Sky News: "That's not something that we're prepared to support." He later told a news conference: "This is an idea that has been around for a long time. Many countries have a lot of experience with the design of these kinds of taxes. I think, frankly, the experience has been mixed."

And Mr Flaherty said: "We are not in the business of raising taxes, we are in the business of lowering taxes in Canada. It is not an idea we would look at."

What happened? Is there a new messiah?

hasloc

The Department for Children, Schools and Families has an active consultation called Health and Safety of Learners Outside the Classroom (HASLOC) (.doc) with proposed regulations for out of classroom school activities.

HASLOC will replace Health and Safety of Pupils on Educational Visits: a good practice guide 1998 (known as HASPEV) and the 3-part supplement we published in 2002. HASLOC will have a wider audience across all children’s services (not just schools). It sets out the enabling nature of sensible risk management and how to reduce 'red tape'. It flags up the lessons learned from serious incidents. HASLOC also sets out how and why staff can expect to be treated fairly if a participant is injured despite their care.

So this is not just a tidy up, a simplification of existing legislation, as it extends the reach of the current regulations to encompass more organisations. It also has ridiculous content like this

APPENDIX 1 – Activities in or around water

Avoiding impromptu water-based activities

1. Swimming and paddling or otherwise entering the waters of river, canal, sea or lake should never be allowed as an impromptu activity. The pleas of children or young people to bathe – because it is hot weather, for example, or after a kayaking exercise – should be resisted where the bathing has not been prepared for. In-water activities should take place only when a proper risk assessment has been completed and proper measures put in place to control the risks.

Nanny doesn't like paddling.

free booze!

The boys from Adur Brewery are going to be at Steyning Farmers Market on 7th November and are offering free mulled ale to anyone who sings to them (provided they have power for their heaters).

If only I wasn't working again I'd be there .. .. ..

£7.50

From the BBC

Two teenagers face life sentences after being convicted of murdering a girl and her grandmother in a fire in east London as revenge for an unpaid debt.

Jake Sheehan, 19, of Bethnal Green, and David Philip, an 18-year-old from Bow, had denied the charges but were found guilty by a jury at the Old Bailey.

So how much were they owed?

£15

Which equates to £7.50 per life.

sentenced to death

From the BBC

Islamists in southern Somalia have stoned a man to death for adultery but spared his pregnant girlfriend until she gives birth. Abas Hussein Abdirahman, 33, was killed in front of a crowd of some 300 people in the port town of Merka. "He was screaming and blood was pouring from his head during the stoning. After seven minutes he stopped moving," an eyewitness told the BBC.

An official from the al-Shabab group said the woman would be killed after she has had her baby.

I have no joke, no flip remark, no sarcastic comment to make about this story. The woman must now go through the remainder of her pregnancy knowing that just as she is giving life to the unborn child so it too is keeping her alive. Once the child has been born she too will be stoned to death.

equestrianism - upper class addiction

Mark Reckons has (repeatedly) drawn my attention to this CiF article by John Robertson saying that cannabis is dangerous. It's worth reading then reading the comments underneath (to save you from fisking it line by line).

catch me if you can

Matthew Maynard is a suspected criminal being hunted by police after a burglary in September. The police issued mugshots of those they wanted to talk to and Matthew, unhappy with how he looked, sent a better picture of himself to the local newspaper.

Police declined to comment on the provocative picture, taken on Mr Maynard's mobile phone and texted to the newspaper offices, but said that their recent drive to catch criminals was working.

performance enhancing contraceptives

From the BBC

When the Olympics hosted by Beijing ended, a collector snapped up the 5,000 condoms left over from the 100,000 distributed free to athletes. The collection has now been put up for a one-off auction, with a starting price of one yuan ($0.15; £0.08) each.

Each condom wrapper carries the motto of the Beijing Games - faster, higher, stronger - in English and Chinese.

Faster, higher, stronger - an appropriate choice of text for a condom wrapper!!!! All the purchaser needs is 5000 opportunities to put this claim to the test .. .. ..

imacs for all

Surrey County Council has justified the decision to put a 27" iMac on every desk in the council office by claiming a 20% saving on fuel costs over the old PCs and by "pretending we're a university to qualify for HE discount from Apple".

Councillor Tim Hall said

"We believe we can drastically cut the power that is wasted by computers, help save local taxpayers up to £8m by driving a hard bargain, support staff to do their jobs even better and save office space."

Those flat screens save huge amounts of desk space don't they? The new machines will not be available to schools, libraries or the fire service as they aren't nearly as important as people who work in the council offices.

this dropped through my letterbox

What be flodding?

if at first you don't succeed .. ..

.. .. change one word of the title.

I commented on this story from earlier today and now the BBC have changed the title and republished it word for word.

seo for idiots

3 out of 113,000,000

Not such a high placing if the person searching can actually spell Gordon .. .. ..

headline of the day

Fnarr! Snark! Yoiks!

playing with fire(works)

From the BBC

Police have warned of the dangers of fireworks after a group of youngsters were filmed using a firework to shoot balls of flame at each other. The children lit Roman candles and used them to shoot the flames near a sports centre in Park Road, Dingle. In the footage, filmed on a mobile phone, a fireball hit one of the children in the back. Merseyside Police have urged anyone who spots youths misusing fireworks around the city to contact them.

Back when I was at college, and you could still buy mini rockets, we held an annual running battle in the week between Halloween and Bonfire Night. We would assemble at the top of a series of flights of steps that ran perpendicular to the roads along the side of the hill. Each person had to be wearing correct protective equipment*, have 20 mini rockets*** and a lighter**** The group would split into two and one side would have a 20 second head start. The object of the exercise was to get to the pub at the bottom of the hill while having shit loads of fun which we managed to do without hurting, injuring or killing anyone. We'd gather in the beer garden for a pint, more laughs, jovial recriminations, and retelling the tales of the previous 5 minutes.

Of course now that mini-rockets are no longer available kids have started to play with more dangerous fireworks .. .. .. ..










*Gloves**
** Splinters hurt
*** Some of us might have had more than 20
**** yes, it was back in the days when smoking was sociably less unacceptable.

you're not from round here are you?

From the BBC

More than 50,000 people are expected to attend the Lewes bonfire celebrations later, despite an appeal from Sussex Police for outsiders to keep away. Once the town centre is full, visitors will be diverted to other bonfires.

In an attempt to reduce the number of people heading to Lewes, there will be no extra train services and parking will be heavily restricted.

Am I the only one that has the image of police officers, wielding shotguns, standing across a roadblock shouting "get orrff my land" through megaphones?

the rise of the non-veggie vegetarian

BBC magazine asks the question

Vegetarianism used to be simple - its protagonists foreswore the flesh of any dead animal. Today there are "veggies" who eat fish, and people who eat no meat but don't call themselves vegetarians. What happened?

The answer of course is straightforward - people got stupid.

northern ireland council for ethnic minorities

An article on the BBC today about a study by the Northern Ireland Council for Ethnic Minorities (NICEM)claiming that "Polish people 'need crisis fund'" got me looking into charities in Northern Ireland. Everything about their website screams fakecharity including the statement on legislation and campaigning

We work to bring about social change through partnership with organisations in Northern Ireland, the UK, the Republic of Ireland, the EU and the Council of Europe to campaign on common issues of concern. seek to guarantee actual access to rights and equality of outcome for BME communities in Northern Ireland and through research and information gathering we seek to identify and address issues of socio-economic disadvantage and systematic discrimination.

Unfortunately the Charity Commission for Northern Ireland requirement for accounts to be published is not up and running yet, and won't be until 2011 so it's impossible to investigate the source of the funding of NICEM. Yet.

Back to the BBC article then

A crisis fund should be set up to assist Polish people living in Northern Ireland, a report has recommended. The study, by the Northern Ireland Council for Ethnic Minorities (NICEM), found that Polish people were three times more likely to be unemployed. It also said that their take up of Jobseekers' Allowance was low. The findings also indicated that Polish people struggled with bureaucracy in their efforts to find jobs and to access benefits.

AND? If I go to find work in another country then I should accept that I may not fully understand the associated bureaucracy when I arrive. It is not the responsibility of the country to help me, it is my responsibility to help myself.