bishops are nonsense says carol

Angry mother Carol Festive has spoken out against Bishops today calling them nonsense [ed- check that, might be nonces] and imbeciles.

"Earlier this week the Bishop of Repton was telling Christians not to say Happy Christmas in case people were sad and today the Bishop of Croydon has spoken out against hymns" she said. "Is the Archbishop preparing a sermon for evensong that decries the whole Nativity?"

Ms Festive is angry about comments that a senior defender of the Christian faith has made in his latest blockbuster 'Why Wish You A Merry Christmas?' In the book he claims that Jesus was abnormal if he had not cried as a baby. She says that eyewitness accounts from the time are quite clear on the matter

Away in a manger, No crib for His bed the little Lord Jesus laid down His sweet head
The stars in the bright sky looked down where He lay the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay
The cattle are lowing the poor Baby wakes but little Lord Jesus no crying He makes

She called for the Bishop to be excommunicated for such blasphemy. Bishop Baines is also in trouble from Dickus Van Hufflegoof chief executive of the shepherd's charity Wardens of organic Livestock (WooL) for describing the first witnesses to the Lord's birth as "the great unwashed". Dickus said that contrary to popular belief shepherds were meticulous in their cleansing rituals ever since Flossie was diagnosed with a particularly bad dose of an intimate disease.

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