current e-petitions from the number10 site

Finding myself on the Number10 e-petition site for the petition against the latest proposed anti-piracy law I thought I'd have a nose around and see what other petitions are open. Oh My God! There's a petition for:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to the prime minister to make it law for all pedel cyclists to wear helmets and high visability jackets.
(I'm not sure what possible safety advantage I could gain by wearing a high vis jacket while riding offroad)

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Form a proper Welfare State.

The formation of a Welfare State will entail the nationalisation of Coal, Oil, Gas, Water, alternative energy, transport, education, healthcare and banking. The notion that we are living in a welfare state now is the worst joke ever written, seeing as how privitized fat cats are in it for self gain. State control would ensure 100% accountability literally to the public, ensure universal, unconditional provision and form the basis of a fairer, more egalitarian society, both socially and economically. The deranged, right-wing, pro-business view is both backward and idiotic, as it doesn't take Einstein to tell you that corporations are in it for profit, whose best interest it is to financially exploit their customers (and employees) with zero concern for people's welfare *cough* credit crunch *cough*. The deluded idea that competition lowers costs is meaningless next to free state provision funded by higher taxes on the rich. It is rapacious and pathetic to impose profiteering in the welfare sector that ultimately hits the people who can least afford it the hardest.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Provide free or discounted driving lessons to people claiming JSA.

In this modern world, your own transport is a necessity for pretty much everything, finding and getting to work in particular. People like myself who have been on Job Seekers Allowance for several months or even years are being restricted by public transport, which in many areas is overpriced and inadequate.

Please sign this petition if you think that the government should give financial aid to people claiming benefits to help them drive in order for them to have better access to work.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to bring into law statutory complain procedures for dealing with internal complain procedures within religious organisations.

We, the Church Law Campaign is requesting a Statutory Complain Procedures for handling complains within religious organisations. We are also seeking a special tribunal to handle complains resulting from the proposed statutory complain procedures.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Stop speeding in Spofforth in North Yorkshire.
(How the PM will have time to personally enforce the speed limit on every driver is not explained in the 'more details' comments)

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Ban advertising to children under 16.

We believe that advertising to children is immoral. It can manipulate a child's mind and exploits they're innocent and trusting nature. Advertising is all about creating a false need in the viewer's mind. This can cause a child to feel unhappy and insecure.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to enforce-caps-on-mobile-networks.

I would like the prime minister to enforce caps on mobile networks. By this I mean capping the bill. All mobile networks should do this as it benefits the customer and stops the customer being charged ridiculous amounts.

Now if mobile networks refuse to do this then I feel at the very least they should include these features.

One when you phone to find out how many minutes and texts you have left the network should also tell you if your being charged for anything that isn't included in your monthly bill e.g. Premium rate numbers/Texts.

They should also Phone you when you do something with your phone that you don't normally do. For example phoning a premium rate number or accessing the internet etc.

Finally it should be there job to tell you that you have spent over your monthly contract when say it goes to more than double your normal monthly contract cost.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make it an offence for pedestrians to walk behind reversing vehicles.

Reversing a vehicle in a car park or elsewhere can be a tricky manoeuvre. Even the most observant and diligent driver cannot see all around their vehicle at all times. It is therefore foolish at best and dangerous at worst that pedestrians regularly walk alongside or behind a reversing vehicle, especially if they are accompanying children. The proposal is that this act is made a criminal offence, either with a fine of say, £100 or five hours community service. This issue is pertinent to road safety.

And that's just from the first of 4682 pages .. .. .. some people are seriously nuts!