5" of handbag fun

At five inches this is the perfect size for any respectable lady's handbag. Fitting discretely in between the powder compact and the lipstick this essential essential has quickly become ubiquitous in upmarket gathering places across the globe. Whether you play with it yourself or use it to give pleasure to your female friends, the African pygmy hedgehog is certainly proving popular among the trend setters. Replacing the previous fashion of carrying a dog in your handbag this more portable, lower maintenance, pet is melting hearts of the trust fund clique.

The RSPCA has already spoken out against the ownership of the pygmy hedgehog and already there are fears of underground 'swap clubs'. Those at the extreme end of haute couture can match their hedgehogs to their outfits on an hourly basis if necessary with rumours flying around of a specialist hedgehog delivery service to satisfy their needs.

After their breeding program finally achieved successful results earlier this month The Great Dane Breeders Association of Mid Sussex has called on Paris Hilton and her friends to return to carrying dogs in their handbags. Their spokesman issued the following statement: "It will be a very bleak Christmas not just for us but also for the 700 puppies we've bred hoping to sell them to the stupidly wealthy. To switch fads now just as our breeding program reached fruition is terribly selfish. It's left us facing a financial black hole. If we can't find a buyer soon we'll have to liquidate our stock."