artistic licence

From its plot overlooking the playing fields of Eton this half-built bungalow may look dour and bland but it hides a special secret. Once finished it will be the Prime Minister's retirement home. Originally planned for completion late in 2007 the project has hit another snag this week when a FoI request revealed that some of the bricks used in the construction are possibly part of the haul taken from the Area 10 Project Space in Peckham. A thorough investigation is underway into how this information ever reached the public domain.

Harriet Harperson, Minister for Equality, spoke to us yesterday about the scandal. "The suggestion the the Prime Minister thinks he's better than the rest of you is ridiculous. This was an honest mistake that would have been paid back anyway through stamp duty and inheritance tax, unless those evil Tories get into office and reduce inheritance tax for only the richest 1% of the country. A line should be drawn under this issue and we should move on. Lessons will be learned from this and the people involved will be vigorously retrained. The next person to question me about this will be branded a misogynist."

The contractors building the bungalow, Klugde and Sons, remain optimistic that the project will be completed by the new deadline "We had hoped to be finished in Autumn 2008 but we were sold out by a few key suppliers at the last minute after there was some behind the scenes manoeuvring by a competitor. We are hopeful that we will be out of here by Feb 2010, but failing that June 2010."