Worried parents are today calling on the Department for Children, Schools and Families to put an end to an addictive craze that is sweeping the nation. Recently published research shows that young boys are particularly susceptible, and easily succumb, to reading. A recent study estimates the number of affected boys (aged 5 - 11) to be 330,000 although the lead author believes that to be a conservative estimate.
The addiction can start very early in life, maybe a few pages of a board version of Postman Pat or The Hungry Caterpillar, or maybe a few pages of Horrid Henry or Goosebumps a little later. What is known though that an addict can spend hours reading the entire catalogue of Harry Harrison novels before moving into the "Tolkien" stage of literary addiction.
Scientists have yet to work out why girls are less often affected by reading but current research suggests that the effect is reduced in the X-chromosome. Successful treatment programs* have been developed that, if followed correctly, can lead to a total absence of reading in females.
Vernon Coaker, the Minister for Schools, played down rumours that the government was involved in prolonging the addicts misery by feeding their habit. "I flatly deny the accusation that I have been supplying books to schools" he said. "Any further claims of that nature and I will call my lawyer."
"This government has a proud tradition of banning thought and clamping down on individualistic tendencies," he continued "and books are just not compatible with that ideology. We have been tough on reading and tough on the causes of reading but we can always do more. We will make every effort to continue the good work that we have begun in this area as we try to make a difference for the largest number of people."
Willhelm Reich from the charity Ban Or Outlaw Books said that current laws don't go far enough. He is organising a petition to have the law strengthened so that any book recovered by the authorities is burned and the owner is executed for attempting to have an imagination.
*Current treatment regimes include Eastenders, Coronation Street, X-Factor, I'm a Celebrity and Big Brother
Monday, December 14, 2009
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1 comments:
BOOB should get on with what really matters and speed up the programme of closing the evil palaces of thought crime known as 'libraries'. It is just not good enough to protect our cheeeldren from the adult section and simply replacing 'books' with micro-fiche, PCs, and DVDs does not go nearly far enough.
Book-pushers and book-dealers caught hoarding books with intent to supply should be re-educated or shot.
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