chairs

Union leaders reacted angrily today at the imposition of new seating in the workplace. Instead of the tried and tested chairs that members are accustomed to evil bosses have initiated a seat replacement program that will see the traditional workplace seating upgraded to modern office chairs. Negotiations between the union and the rail companies have made little progress.

Assistant union leader Millicent Trant summoned the media to the gates of her residence so that she could issue the following statement. She said "As the chosen representative of the workers it is my duty to protect them, and their jobs, from the so-called modernisation practises that the management want to force on them. I will not stand for this blatant attempt to undermine their job security."

Ms Trant continued "My members will not be bullied into accepting new working conditions that will ultimately lead to job losses. Repeated attempts by us to get the management to sit round the table on wooden benches and negotiate have been thwarted. A ballot was held and the result was 1-0 in favour of striking so my members have no option but to walk out unless agreement can be reached."

Yewrhinal Jones from the Welsh division of the charity Good Posture Implies Superior Safety reflected on the proposals. "While modern technology has facilitated massive strides in chair design we feel that more research is needed before any definite conclusions can be reached. We are today launching a bid for extra funding to assess the impact of castor design and the affect of implementation on Health and Safety in the workplace. Until that report is published in May 2027 we have advised the unions to resist change in this area."