American company K9 Storm, supplier of specialist canine products to the US military, has expanded their operations into the UK this week after reports that gun crime is not decreasing. Demand for these products have been growing as worried owners of pedigree pooches feel that their fears for the safety of their "best friend" are not taken seriously enough by British law enforcement officers.
"With the spread of American style crack houses" said a spokesman yesterday "the level of violence that your average dog can be subjected to while out for their twice daily walk is increasing. We provide a variety of protective devices to reduce the risk of anything bad happening during that together time."
With the opening of the UK civilian arm of the operation a variety of bespoke designs of canine protective clothing have become available. Entry level garments are stab proof while the De-luxe Apparel range uses cutting edge fabric technology that can stop armour piercing rounds and smart helmets (as seen on our model above) that include GPS tracking, nightvision and a patented buried marrow location device.
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On the other hand, you could Google "police shoot dog" to find out that, for US owners, the biggest threat to your dog's life is not actually "crack houses".
Hi there Roue le Jour.
The original inspiration for my piss take is this blog post which is about the development of a new body armour system for military and police dogs.
Here in the UK the police aren't generally armed so the number of dog shootings is extremely low and the cost of the armour is prohibitive (around $20,000) to make it worthwhile for the average UK citizen.
Hi Man,
I did follow the link before commenting (you only make that mistake once) and appreciate it was a piss take, I was just jumping on to one of my hobbyhorses.
I can't imagine the founding fathers contemplated a state that could steal your children and shoot your dog with impunity. What next, droit de seigneur?
You know Roue, some things wouldn't surprise me in the slightest the way things are going .. .. .. ..
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