lollipops

In what has now become an annual event Thames Valley Police have once again begun their lollipop distribution campaign. Each December they hand out over 5,000 lollipops to revellers in an effort to reduce drunken violence. Chief Inspector ChupaChups had this to say

It's easy to underestimate the power of lollipops. When we ran a similar campaign last year drunken violent crime levels dropped by more than 50%. We attribute a great deal of this decline to the mesmerising effect that a brightly coloured lolly has on a drunk when waved in front of their face. The hypnotic sugary rhythm in the air in front of them is usually mesmerising enough to allow all but the criminally obese time to escape.

In other news councils are advertising for more environment officers who will issue £80 fines to anyone caught littering.