travel

The Commuter and I were in the local last night as is our custom on a Wednesday. We were midway through blatantly disregarding government daily alcohol consumption when he told me of the travel plans of another couple that we know. They had set off earlier that day to drive to relatives, who live somewhere in the Cairngorms, for Christmas. A short journey then, barely 500 miles each way at the time of the worst driving conditions this year, made even more fun by the other passengers in the car - their two young children and dog. Not being a dog lover myself I rely on the information The Commuter supplied that dogs have a tendency to produce toxic farts that, in the confined space of a motor vehicle, can cause eyes to bleed and lungs to collapse.

And the police are advising people not to drive in the area as many roads are closed or dangerous. Which will add even more time to their journey.

We started to wonder about the loading arrangements for their estate car. Without knowing the full detail of their plans we had to make some basic assumptions. 2 adults, 2 children, 1 dog, clothes for all passengers (including extra jumpers for warmth), food supplies (shops likely to be low on food once they arrive), presents for their family and assorted alcoholic beverages to tide them over the festive period. This epic journey was, we reckoned, going to take a long time given that there had been multiple pile ups and crashes on the M23, M25, M1, M6 to name but a few.

Like a traditional puzzle the arrangements fit together until you realise the last piece is the wrong shape and you have to start all over again. The dog would take up half of the boot space, especially on a trek of this magnitude, which then leaves the other half for food, presents, clothes. Except you can't leave the dog with the food, especially if there is a joint of meat there because it will demolish them before the first service station. The Commuter suggested that they might have a roof box but I dismissed this as the couple would never put their dog in one.

The Commuter suggested the dog could go in the middle of the back seat of the car with the lap belt to secure it. I thought it might be happier with a window seat so it can stick it's head into the fresh air and loll it's tongue. The freezing conditions may not actually make that a pleasant canine experience if the drool were to freeze it's tongue to it's cheek.

We never did finish working on our assumptions of their plans as our glasses needed refilling and we lost the train of thought .......