Banks in Crisis?

Having just a few moments ago put the phone down after a conversation with my bank manager I can conclude the following.

1. My bank is more than happy to extend the line of credit to my business.

2. My bank has, according to my manager, over £130 MILLION pounds sitting in a fund to lend to businesses who need it but they are not requesting it.

3. This is at odds with the news reports that banks are not lending thus magnifying the financial crisis.

4. I suspect that the banks are prepared to lend to people who are able to repay that money but not to those higher risk customers who cannot.

5. As risky lending, toxic debt etc are often cited as reasons why the banking system nearly collapsed is it wise to be campaigning for banks to continue that practice?


Edit: Having just watched Charlie Falconer on Question Time (29/01/09) repeat at least 4 times that "the banks must start lending again".

I'm amazed. My bank wants to lend me money - but I don't want to borrow it and that is the real problem. People who can and will repay their borrowing are being cautious as to the level of their liabilities. Those who exercise less financial control are finding that the banks are being more scrupulous about who they lend to and are therefore being denied extra credit.

Borrowing is cheaper now than 12 months ago partly due to the reduction in the BoE base rate and partly due to the banks trying to encourage borrowing. A £100k loan that 12 months ago would have cost me base + 4.5% I can now get for base + 2.5% should I want it.

The Rules of Mountainbiking #357

Article #357 of the unwritten rules of mountainbiking clearly states



"When leaving a group of fellow riders earlier than planned the probability of suffering a puncture is raised to 100%"


"Complications during the repair are dependent on the number of riders from whom you are departing multiplied by the percentage of said group who disbelieve your reason for departure"


Bugger!

Veto the FoI?

The Cabinet has had the shadow of a FoI appeal hanging over it for some time. The results of the appeal were published yesterday and, by a majority ruling, the original decision [pdf] has been upheld [pdf]. The information requested was in regard to the decisions made in Cabinet meetings leading up to the invasion of Iraq, weapons of mass destruction and the advice of the attorney-general on the legality of the proposed invasion. Having lost this appeal there are few options left for the Cabinet Office; either appeal to the High Court or to use Ministerial Veto to block the release of information.

"Transparent Government" and "If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear" are obviously expedient soundbites and not core beliefs of these charlatans.

Lost in translation

I've just watched this over at Old Holborn and it made my eyes water.

Permission to film

I've just received a telephone call from my daughter's school asking my permission for her, as part of her class, to be filmed by a BBC News team. If I had refused permission then she would have been removed from the group and not been in the news item.

Can I refuse permission for the Govt to add her to the child database now that she's a star of the television? Thought not.

Class of '09

Today it was announced that cannabis would once again revert to class B drug status after spending a short time as a class C drug, except the penalties for being caught in possession of cannabis will be somewhere between those of class B and C .. .. .. sort of a C+ rating. The Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith has decided to alter the classification after totally disregarding the advice of the specific scientific panel, the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, set up to determine Government drug policy.

The ACMD is quite clear about the recorded effects of cannabis use in its report [pdf]

Evidence about the social harms associated with cannabis is clearer.
Despite public anxieties, there is little real evidence that cannabis is a
significant cause of acquisitive crime or of anti-social behaviour. There
is, though, cause for concern about the growth of cannabis farms and
the emergence of wider organised crime, including people trafficking,
that is associated with them.

Decisions about advising on classification must, ultimately, be based on
the Council’s collective judgment about the relative harmfulness of
substances within, and between, classes. On balance, taking into
account the totality of the relevant issues and very mindful of the actual
and potential harms, the majority of the Council advises that cannabis
and the cannabinols remain in Class C. Although the majority of
members recognise the harms caused by the use of cannabis to
individuals and society, they do not consider these to be as serious as
those of drugs in Class B.

A minority of members of the Council remain very concerned about
effects of cannabis on the mental health of users, especially in the light
of the (now) wide availability and use of sinsemilla. In their view the
balance of harms more closely equates to substances in Class B than
Class C.

Recommendation 3: Cannabis should remain a Class C drug.

It begs the question why bother setting up an advisory council if you aren't prepared to listen to, and act on, their advice? Does Nanny know best?

A bucket of onions

I own a catering business. One of the many things that I have to do is prepare onions ready for use. Lots and lots of them. Tonight I needed to peel and slice a bucket of onions (about 10 litres in size). While I was doing it one of my newer employees, a girl who's boyfriend has yet to learn the meaning of the phrase "extremely high maintenance", was standing about a metre away crying from the effects of the onions while I carried on largely unaffected. She asked through tears and streams of mascara how it was that I could just stand there not crying. "Practice" was my reply, which lead to her next question........."just how long have you been doing this then?"


I thought about it for a moment.




Then I said.......





"I started doing this before you were born."





God I feel old.

Caught smoking?

This tale from the youth of Rob Liddle put a wry smile on my face

I was 15 when my mum caught me smoking. She came home unexpectedly early so, panic-stricken, I dropped the cigarette on the floor and tried to look all innocent. She sat down and asked me numerous questions about my day at school and then said: “Why are you smoking cigarettes, Rod? They’re a waste of money.” I protested with great vigour. Why on earth should you think that I smoke? And she replied: “Well, for one thing your fingers are stained brown with nicotine. And your clothes smell of tobacco. And the clincher, son – if you look to your left, you will see that the magazine rack is on fire.”

Not that I've ever set fire to a magazine rack you understand, just the innocence of youth and the belief that no-one else is aware of what you are up to.

NOTW in pensioner scandal!

Jonathon Ross returned to Radio 2 after his suspension following the 'Brandgate' affair and *shock* *horror* his broadcast was in the same cheeky tone that it always was. In an effort to create a story the 'journalists' Adam Thorn, Guy Basnett, Phil Taylor & Dan Wootton listened to the whole show and found that a 30 second section of a conversation was a bit rude.

Having listened to the whole of the broadcasted conversation between the Detroit Spinners and the Ting Ting's I've reached the following conclusion.. .. .. Adam, Guy, Phil, Dan .. .. try reporting on real stories rather than trying to sensationalise a complete non-story.

David Blunkett is quoted as suggesting that Ross should donate part of his salary to charity for this latest transgression. How very appropriate from a twice disgraced ex-cabinet minister.

Pocket Money

Via the Adur Brewery Blog I found this gem on the daily mash regarding all of the recent press coverage of 'binge drinking'.

Tom Logan, a trainee solicitor from Northampton, said: "It seems to me that they may have confused a safe daily limit with what I like to call 'lunch'."

Why stop at daily rates of consumption? Why not break it down to a maximum permitted hourly rate of alcohol consumption and then employ an army of Inspectors to fine people who imbibe too quickly?

Separated at Birth?

With a hat tip to The Ranting Penguin.

Just how dim do you have to be?

Charities and eyesight specialists are calling on the government to halt its plans to phase out the sale of traditional light bulbs.Campaigners want retailers to disregard a promise to phase out the incandescent bulbs by 2012.They say replacement lower energy bulbs do not provide enough light, causing problems for people with poor vision.

A spokeswoman for the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) said "We recognise that compact fluorescent lamps do not offer the same 'contrast' that incandescent lamps offer as they give off diffused light.To address these concerns halogen lamps, which do provide contrast lighting, will remain on the market.These offer 30-45% energy savings in comparison to incandescent lamps."

If I was a conspiracy theorist then I would suggest that this move was part of a plan to keep people docile in their homes. Dim CFLs are more soothing, more hypnotic, than their harsh bright incandescent lamps equivalents. Of course it isn't anything of the sort. Really.

Today, Radio 4

2 hours 21 minutes and 48 seconds into the program Gordon says

"I'm dealing with the problems with Alistair Darling"

Draw your own conclusions .. .. .. ..

Question Time 22/01/09

Having just finished watching last night's Question Time on the iPlayer can I make the following comments?

1. Caroline Flint (Minister for Europe) is way too smug.
2. If you slam yourself back into your chair after finishing an answer in makes you look nervous, like you have something to hide.
   

We're fucked

From The Guardian:

Privately, something close to desperation is starting to develop inside government. After watching the slide in bank shares on Friday, one cabinet minister did not altogether joke when he said: "The banks are fucked, we're fucked, the country's fucked."

A precise and accurate summary the country's current financial position.

Staying Average

I've had a few heated discussions with the Blonde Employee over the last few weeks regarding the state of the Education System in this country. We've ranged from 'how GCSEs are failing this generation' to 'calculators .. .. .. WTF?' but the one topic that we cannot agree on is the provision for intelligent pupils. The Blonde Employee is not a dumb blonde (although she is high maintenance) by any stretch of the imagination and I'm as stubborn as a mule so this is set to continue for months to come.

I've got kids in the school system and all of them are above average. My youngest is in year 1 (he's 6 if, like me, you need to think in old money) and can read and write to a better standard than a large chunk of the pupils in years 2 and 3. My eldest is also outperforming a large number of her peers.

But I feel that the education system is letting them, and others like them, down badly which is the core of my argument with the Blonde Employee.

From speaking with various friends and relatives who are directly involved with the education of our children a worrying pattern seems to be present in the system since the introduction of PRP for teachers. It seems that all of the focus and energy is directed at the 'average' kids, the ones who are just below the required standard, trying to bring them up to the level needed to affect the teachers pay review while the brightest of the class are frequently left to their own devices. If a child has already fulfilled their annual objectives they aren't pushed to excel, encouraged to progress further. And that, to me, is very wrong. We should be pushing the brightest students harder as well as trying to encourage performance from the less intellectually able.

FSA demands action

There must be profound changes in the banking system if a repeat of the current crisis is to be avoided, the Financial Services Authority has said.

Lord Turner, head of the City watchdog, said parts of the regulatory system were "seriously deficient".

He recommended that banks should be forced to build up capital during good times, so they could more easily weather an economic downturn.

He said they "failed to piece together the jigsaw puzzle" of risks which included a large UK current account deficit, rapid credit extension and house price rises.

He said banks should now be required to build up "substantial capital buffers in good economic times... so that they can run them down in bad".

Not even seeing the irony that the same comments could equally be applied to the Government that ennobled you Baron Turner of Ecchinswell? 11 years of growth and hardly a penny in the Government coffers to see us through the storm suggests to me that the 'fairytale economics in which a fairy godmother makes all difficult choices disappear' are not just prevalent in the banking system.

Last Orders?

The Morning Advertiser carries this story:

The mandatory code of conduct for alcohol retailers - set to cost community pubs £1,100 per year — could hasten pub closure rates. That was the message delivered to the Government by All-Party Parliamentary Beer Group chairman John Grogan during a debate on the controversial proposal in Parliament yesterday evening.

Under Government plans, pubs and other alcohol retailers would have to abide by strict codes on retailing, with compulsory staff training and the use of smaller glasses among the measures.

Smaller glasses? FFS all that will happen is that people will buy three drinks where previously they would buy two!

Grogan said if the code was too “onerous”, it could cost £1,100 a year for “a well run community pub that causes no problems to anyone”.

He added that “there is a danger that..the rate of pub closures could rapidly increase”.

I can only presume that, like in almost every case of projected costs by a Labour Government (see 2012 Olympic Bid for reference), the true cost will actually be twice or three times the original estimate?

And former minister Keith Vaz said: “The problem is not the pubs; it is the supermarkets.

“Why are the Government letting the supermarkets off the hook? It is their provision of cheap alcohol that allows people to get tanked up before they go out on a Saturday evening.

“There is no code to control that provision, which is why we have a problem. It is the loss leaders in the supermarkets that are really causing the problem.”

Translation: Hold on a second we've allowed a large number of alcohol retailers to escape from the clutches of this new legislation which will never do!

Smith said: “The vast majority of those who operate responsibly will not be troubled by the changes.

“We need to ensure that we have the right powers in place to tackle the irresponsible minority, but without creating difficulties for responsible premises, whether on-licence or off-licence.”

I'm sure that someone will correct me if I'm wrong but don't we already have a huge amount of legislation already in place that deals with irresponsible alcohol retailers? The Pub across the road from my business was, until it closed, forever being visited by the Boys in Blue and their clipboard wielding associates from the council.

Are the last set of regulations so terribly out of date that they need to be re-written a mere 3 years later?

But she hit out at cheap drinks deals in the on-trade, highlighting promotions such as all-you-can-drink and free drinks for women.

“Frankly, that is an invitation to binge drinking, and it is not good enough.”

So does this mean an end to alcohol subsidy in the bars of The House? I'm guessing that it won't.


The absolute last thing that pubs need right now is restrictions and regulations above and beyond the existing regimes. It's bad enough that many smokers are boycotting their local so that they can enjoy a whole, uninterrupted, conversation with their beer but trying to target the alcohol sales? That's just vindictive.

Magic Wand?

I was discussing the adoration of the new President of the USA by the British media with The Newsagent. We talked about the hype over the election, the similarities between the Obama campaign and the Bliar campaign of '97, the desire for 'change' without knowing exactly what that change would be.


The Newsagent commented "It's not like he has a magic wand".

I looked him in the eye, raised an eyebrow and said "I don't know .. .. we should ask Mrs Obama."

Another Helping Hand For Business

On 1 April 2009 the statutory annual holiday entitlement for employees rises once again to 5.6 weeks per year (28 days based on a 5 day week). For owners of small businesses like myself this is yet another one of those decisions .. .. .. do I further reduce my income (both actual and in real terms) or do I reduce the amount of time I spend with my family who, after all, are the reason why I do this? Decisions decisions.. .. .. ..

With the current economic crisis bringing business after business to it's knees surely now is the time to rethink this change. Any further increase in the holiday allowances of employees is going to have a dire effect on the financial and physical health of small business owners which can't be a good thing.

Role Models

The GTCE has proposed, in it's draft code of behaviour, that teachers should be role models for students both in and out of the classroom. They go as far as saying that teachers should

uphold the law and maintain standards of behaviour both inside and outside school that are appropriate given their membership of an important and responsible profession

and use the example of

an incident in a pub, someone has had too much to drink and there's been some pushing and shoving. It hasn't resulted in a criminal offence, but we would look at it in great detail. It is not something we would want teachers to do, but professionally would it have an impact on their registration status?

So if a teacher does something inappropriate, even though it isn't illegal,then they could get fired? Who sets out the guidelines as to appropriate behaviour and how will the GTCE find out about it? Will we have Teacherwatch in our early evening TV schedules where Mr and Mrs Reasonable are encouraged to report misbehaving education facilitators? If this comes into force how long will it be before all smoking or overweight teachers are deemed to be inappropriate and find it impossible to renew their license?

I wonder if a similar scheme could be brought in for Members of Parliament?

White Trash

The BBC carried this article a few weeks ago that slipped past with hardly a mention.

More needs to be done to raise the aspirations of young people, especially boys, from isolated white working class communities, a government report says.

It said living in working class areas, especially in former industrial towns and cities, may stop young people from reaching their potential.

It said that poor white boys have the lowest aspirations of all ethnic groups

Maybe some positive discrimination affirmative action is needed to try to bring them up to the standard of their multicultural counterparts.

Statutory Instruments of deception

Very soon the Government is planning to pass a statutory instrument through the houses of parliament known as the Freedom of Information (Parliament) Order which will exempt MP's expense accounts from scrutiny under the Freedom of Information Act.

Jo Swinson has tabled an Early Day Motion opposing this and so far a grand total of 11 MPs have signed it which means that 635 out of 646 have not.

As numerous Home Secretaries have reassured us that "you have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide" one can only assume that 98.3% of politicians have something to fear. Why else would they hide behind this change to the Act?


Update: As of 11:30 am on 21 Jan there are now 32 signatures to the EDM, including my local MP Tim Loughton who has previously not voted on FoI legislation. Good for you Tim.

Red, grey, black

Reported on the BBC website today is this report of some top quality scientific research

Researchers from Cambridge have at last solved one of the mysteries of the animal world, Inside Out has revealed.

Inside Out has been given exclusive access as scientists reveal for the first time how the black squirrel came into being.

Helen McRobbie and Alison Thomas, from Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge, are spearheading the black squirrel research and could not agree about how the black squirrel population in the UK came into being.

Ms McRobbie believed the black squirrel was the result of a genetic mutation, two grey squirrels mated and produced a black off-spring which grew up and mated.

Ms Thomas disagrees, saying: "I don't think the black squirrels we have here in the UK are the result of a genetic mutation."

How did they resolve this conundrum? By importing Black Squirrels from the USA and comparing genetic markers, proving that the British Black Squirrels are directly related to the American Black Squirrels, and not revealing for the first time how the black squirrel came into being. I'm no expert on journalism but .. .. .. ..

Welcome to Heathrow

You never know it could happen.

You couldn't make it up

Reported in The Mirror today this tale of a twitcher's worst nightmare. After waiting for hours to spot a Grey Phalarope it then went for lunch. In a Buzzard.

Labourlist.org - A source of amusement

Less than a week into it's life as a beta release and already the blog where "Labour minded people come together" has proved to be a source of huge merriment for those of us watching. From the call for "tighter moderation", to the trashing of comments, to the awful layout of said comments that follow on from any contribution; the whole thing seems to me to be an exercise in alienating voters while allowing only approved thoughts and conversations.

But if that wasn't enough to have you giggling away at the "open forum designed as a platform for lively debate" then a brief look at the right-hand side bar should at least raise a wry smile. Above the link to FixMyStreet, a spy on thy neighbours site, above the "Z-list" of un-Labour bloggers, above the much longer "A-List" of on message blogs, sits the "Non-PoliticalList".

Described as B3TA - Loads of funny stuff a link takes you to b3ta.com, a long running website/forum that has a reputation for creative activity. Many of the viral emails that are received, many of the comedy images that appear in national magazines and newspapers originate from members of that site.

So what is it that tickles me so? As I was explaining to the Blonde Employee this evening this site has few boundaries, few areas that are taboo. It is most definitely not PC. A brief skim down the front page brings you face to face with this. Not what the Labour faithful would be expecting to find?

Hunting through the "Fun Shit" brings up this (which is Not Safe For Work). I can't help laughing wondering how long it will take before that is passed around at cabinet meetings .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

What's in a name?

The Commuter was complaining that he was suffering from a stiff neck on the train journey to work one morning this week; so much so that reading the paper was an impossible task. Instantly spying a business opportunity I suggested a team of mobile masseurs that travel on the commuter trains offering professional neck massages to alleviate the spinal tension of business professionals as they travelled to work in the mornings, and also as they return home in the evening. A small fee of, say, £5 seemed a reasonable return for this vital service.

The Commuter disagreed saying that he'd only pay £2, which would make the whole venture financially unworkable. After arguing over the cost / stress relief benefits for a while he proposed a counter suggestion to a paid for service. What if a company, such as Virgin Trains, were to employ the masseurs directly and offer their services as a perk, an enticement, to their First Class passengers? Then that would truly be a First Class Virgin.

First Class Virgin? That sounds like a long service award, something that should be awarded to someone for services to virginity .. .. .. does Ann Widdicombe count? The Commuter looked across the table, stared me in the eye and told me he thought that Ann Widdicombe looked like a man, Man Widdicombe if you like.