Audi drivers

To the driver of the black Audi who followed me North through Mid Sussex today trying to pressurise me into exceeding the 30 mph speed limit by sitting on my exhaust who then failed to keep up when we got to the national speed limit signs .. .. .. .. .. ..




Top Gear are correct. Audi drivers are cocks.

Onslaught Wii

Having spent the evening scurrying around the alien universe created for this new FPS, the first outing of the genre via Wiiware, with a group of online friends I'm surprised at the lack of enthusiasm within the video gaming community. The usual comparisons between the graphical output of the Wii and the other two current generation machines are being bandied about, and the general apathy towards the game is remarkable.

And misplaced.

Of the online enabled titles available on that console this game is, without doubt, the best budget online experience. The online features are a touch awkward to navigate at first but once understood they provide no barrier to the gameplay itself. The motion controls are smooth and accurate.

For a measly £7 I've had over 5 hours of high entertainment so far with the prospect of many more to come. And that is value for money.

It was never like that in my day!

Helping my son construct his latest Lego purchase has created the usual tears, tantrums and arguments. I've apologised to him each time I lose my temper. Then we saw these pieces.


We looked at each other before he whispered in his 8 year old way "They look like a penis"


Cue red face, stifled laughter, knowing looks from the wife etc etc etc

LOLZ!

Obnoxio The Clown: The Window Lickers Strike Back



If ever there was a quality put down, this is it!

Congratulations to Coombes Farm.

Coombes Farm Tours
Church Farm
Coombes
Lancing
Sussex
BN15 0RS
Tel: 01273452028

Coombes Farm are the only West Sussex based recipients of the Learning Outside the Classroom (LOtC) Quality Badge. The scheme was launched in October 2008 and the first awards were made a couple of days ago. Announcing the awarding of the badges Ed Balls, from the department for children, schools and families, said

To gain the Quality Badge, low risk providers such as museums and places of worship complete an online self assessment and are subject to spot checks to ensure the quality of their systems. All higher risk providers such as adventurous activity centres and farms will be checked by independent industry assessors before they are awarded the Badge.

The majority of the initial 65 sites are farms or farming related including East Sussex's only Badge Holder the Seven Sisters Sheep Centre.

Dad at 13?

With utter astonishment I've been reading the media coverage of the 'story' of Alfie Patten and Chantelle Steadman, the 13 and 15 year old parents. The media are reporting that the happy couple could, once she reaches 16, apply for social housing and move in together at which point Chantelle could apply to be Alfie's primary carer and claim child benefit for him along with the child that he fathered on her.

I got to thinking that surely there must be some law against such things? Having sex with a minor is an offence, isn't it? So I found the Sexual Offences Act 2003 chapter 42 to have a look.

8 Causing or inciting a child under 13 to engage in sexual activity

(1) A person commits an offence if—
(a) he intentionally causes or incites another person (B) to engage in an activity,
(b) the activity is sexual, and
(c) B is under 13.

(2) A person guilty of an offence under this section, if the activity caused or incited involved—
(a) penetration of B’s anus or vagina,
(b) penetration of B’s mouth with a person’s penis,
(c) penetration of a person’s anus or vagina with a part of B’s body or by B with anything else, or
(d) penetration of a person’s mouth with B’s penis,is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for life.

Given that we know Alfie's age and we can, through DNA testing, verify if he is within reasonable doubt the biological father of the child (and therefore whether he was engaging in sexual activity under the age of 13) will prosecutions be forthcoming?

Newsnight just now .. .. .. ..

from the factory in Birmingham gave the last impassioned word to Tina Owen, a recently redundant ex-Woolworths employee who told the audience that

"I want to know what the Government is going to do to keep my house over my head, and not put my children out on the street, they turn round and say yes they'll do this and yes they'll do that after 3 months, they need to stand up and get off their backsides and get on with it and sort something out now, before a lot of people lose their house, lose their partners, through no fault of their own."

So the message has finally got through then? Personal responsibility is dead. Why don't you take your own advice Tina instead of expecting the State to do it for you?

Change4Life

As part of the Governments 'stop being fat' campaign they have sent out a series of questionnaires via schoolchildren for their parents to complete and then send off for a factsheet and help in the fight against fat. After completing the contact details (and, of course, details of ethnic background) parents are asked how many children they have. Just above the four boxes where each child's age can be entered there is a disclaimer

"Tick here if you'd like us to send you another questionnaire for more children, as we can only feed back on two children per questionnaire"

Why?

Why can you only feed back for two children per questionnaire? Each time one of these useless things is posted to you it costs me, a taxpayer, money. Each one has a prepaid Business Reply stamp on it. Why with the current hysteria regarding recycling, packaging, AGW, are you encouraging people to use more paper rather than less?



The questions themselves are fairly tedious from question 1 "what did your children do this morning, after they got up?" which has 6 possible replies
a) Watched TV
b) Sat at a computer or video game
c) Played on a computer game that involved moving about
d) Ran about or played in an active way
e) Read books or played with toys
f) None of the above

to question 12 "did your children eat any of these today?"

Crisps, Biscuits, Chocolate, Sweets, Cakes, Fruit, Vegetables, Fried Food

It seems that the whole exercise is aimed at getting the 'better exam results than ever' GCSE generation to make sensible choices regarding food and exercise. I work under the basic assumption that if you consume more calories in your diet than you use then you will put on weight, use more calories than you consume and you will lose weight. It isn't rocket science. How hard can it be to get that message across? Unless. Unless you have engineered a generation that can't think for itself, that relies on Authority to make choices and then inform of those decisions. The simplistic questions have the feel of committee choices which in turn will probably generate automatic responses. I'm half tempted to complete the form just to see if that assumption is correct.

Drugs not reclassified. Again

Not so long ago the Government appointed Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD)reported that in their view, based on the evidence that they had collected, cannabis should be a class C drug. The Government, specifically Jacqui Smith, disagreed and re-re-classified it as a class B drug.

Now we have news that Ecstasy, which kills 10-17 people in the UK each year, is to remain as a class A drug even though the ACMD have concluded that it should be downgraded to class B. Once again the voice of Jacqui Smith is leading the dissent and accusations against the panel appointed by the Government to conduct independent, scientific, research into the effects of substances that come under the of the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971.

The direction of the debate has been deflected away from the under-suspicion-for-fraudulently-claiming-expenses Home Secretary's decision and towards an example that Professor Nutt used to illustrate the ridiculousness of the classification system. He highlighted the fact that while Ecstasy use kills 10-17 people per year horse riding accounts for around 100 deaths to show the relative risk of different activities we engage in. This has been jumped on by the media and other commentators as a way of avoiding the real issue, which is that the Government is once again ignoring the evidence as it doesn't fit with their authoritarian policy.

Taking a peek at TheyWorkForYou.com I found this record of the discussion on the subject of Professor Nutt. When asked by Lib Dem MP Evan Harris

The dangers associated with drug use are supposed to be reflected in the drug classification system. Is it the policy of the Home Secretary and the Government that that system should be based on evidence, or should it be based on something else?

the response from Jacqui came up with was

Yes, it is our view that the system should be based on evidence, but it should also be based on the considered view of those responsible for policy making, and should take into consideration the impact that changes in classification are likely to have on the use of, and harms caused by, drugs, and the impact that that has on the criminal justice system. That is why it will remain the case that our advisers will advise us, and we will decide.

So that told us then. We pay for scientists to research the effects of a substance, they report their findings and then Jacqui can ignore those findings because of her "considered view" on the subject. Not a factual view, not empirical evidence, not based in either reality or fact; her opinion. Which bears more weight and importance than any science ever could. Makes you want to cry (or reach for piano wire if you are that way inclined).

HBOS grilling part 1

I'm listening to the HoC Treasury Committee grill some of the board of HBOS regarding the collapse of their bank and I'm amazed at the sheer size of the balls of some of the members of the committee.

John Mann, Labour MP for Basssetlaw must need a wheelbarrow to cart his testicles around in.

Shouldn't your pension be linked to the share value of the business that you ran? Wouldn't that be fair? As a principle wouldn't it be fair that your pension, which is quoted as being a rather high pension .. .. .. wouldn't it be fair to other pensioners in Britain that your pension was linked to the share value of the bank that you ran?

So from that do I take it that you are in favour of reducing MP's pensions now that the value of UK PLC is in the gutter Mr Mann? Thought not you sanctimonious git.

e-Borders or I know what you did last summer, and the summer before, and the summer before that too.

The government is compiling a database to track and store the international travel records of millions of Britons.

Computerised records of all 250 million journeys made by individuals in and out of the UK each year will be kept for up to 10 years.

The government says the database is essential in the fight against crime, illegal immigration and terrorism.

You know that there is yet more surveillance, more prying into your life when the justification is "to fight terrorism".

The intelligence centre will store names, addresses, telephone numbers, seat reservations, travel itineraries and credit card details of travellers.

So if I go abroad I they can then cross reference my phone number to any calls I make prior to going abroad from my phone records that my service provider is now obliged to keep? And how do they get those details? From the Air and Ferry companies who are complicit in all of this.

Will people be getting an early morning knock on the door, or have their lives scrutinised by nameless, faceless bureaucrats purely for travelling at the same time as a terror suspect? I imagine that it won't be long before they do.

Odd ad

This advert caught my eye in a local advertising paper. I'm curious .. .. .. .. exactly what is sold in these beaver vending machines? Are they the buck toothed rodent or?

And if they are the dam building variety of beaver are they battery farmed or organic free range beavers?

I'm almost curious enough to contact the advertiser to ask.

Clarkson in trouble for speaking truth.

Man speaks truth outrage!

Jeremy Clarkson calls Gordon Brown a "one eyed Scottish idiot" and many different pressure groups get angry. As I understand the facts the PM is blind in one eye after a childhood sporting injury and he was born in Scotland. The only part of Clarkson's comment that is not proven fact is whether or not Gordon is an idiot.

I'm half wondering whether the angry groups are just trying to distance themselves from the PM?

Another day, another rate cut.

At noon today the Bank of England has reduced the base rate to 1% the lowest rate this country has ever known. The immediate response from financial commentators? It's not going to make any difference.

The wrong kind of CO2?

R K Pachauri, Chairman of the IPCC, says of the 2009 Copenhagen Climate Conference

"The negotiations are going on for the conference of parties at the Copenhagen where we will have a multilateral worldwide agreement, let's see what the implications of that would be," Pachauri, who is Chairman of UN's Inter-governmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), said on the sidelines of fifth convocation of DAIICT.

Of course, the developing countries will be exempted from any such restrictions but the developed countries will certainly have to cut down on emission, some strict regulations are going to be there."

So the CO2 produced in the developed world is bad while the CO2 produced in the developing world, as they try to build infrastructure to match the developed world, is perfectly alright? I'm no expert on Climate Change but surely if CO2 emissions are altering the worlds climate then it doesn't matter where that CO2 is being produced?

Snow!

So much for global warming then?

Moving Lego

My son and I had some fun today playing around with stop motion animation. This is our very first movie!



At least we've not set the bar too high on our first attempt .. .. .. ..

We've spent more on the NHS than they did!

Rooting around the blogosphere often uncovers information that isn't widely available. Like this list of the different layers of bureaucracy within an NHS Primary Care Trust that I found over at The ferret. Next time you hear a Government minister talking about extra funds to the NHS remember this list and ask yourself if that money could have been better spent.

* Communications Assistant
* GP Directorate Manager
* PA to Medical Director and PEC Chair
* Assistant Director Commissioning & Informatics
* Medical Directorate Administrator
* Strategic Programmes Director
* Primary Care Manager
* Public Health Project Manager
* Primary Care Commissioning Officer
* Long Term Conditions Administrator
* Resuscitation Educators
* Communications officer (media & campaigns)
* Senior Primary Care Commissioning Manager
* Long Term Conditions Commissioning Manager
* Commissioning Officer
* PA to Head of Urgent Care
* PA to Primary Care Commissioning
* Head of Urgent Care
* PA to Director of Commissioning & Informatics
* Head of Clinical Quality (Commissioning)
* Lead for Quality of care in care homes and End of Life Care
* Locality Manager - Children's Community Service
* Admin Support Primary Care Commissioning
* Information Governance Manager
* PA to Commissioning
* Public Health Strategy Manager
* Acting Co-ordinator (Substance Misuse)
* Liaison Officer
* Senior Administrator & Project Support
* Primary Care (GP) Support and Development
* Commissioning & Information Directorate
* Public Health Nurse Consultant
* Primary Care Development Manager
* Intermediate Care Coordinator
* Chief Executive
* Communications Officer
* Acting Deputy Chief Executive
* Director of Strategic Development
* Associate Director of HR
* Assistant Director of Information
* Primary Care Development Manager
* Clinical Governance Admin Support
* Knowledge Services
* Director of Primary and Community Services
* Public Health Analyst
* Public Health Intelligence Team
* Administration Support Officer
* Sexual Health Commissioning
* Service Development and Market Management
* Commissioning Project Officer
* Mental Health Commissioning Team
* Temporary Clinical Quality Administrator for Primary Care Independent Contractors
* Primary Care Support and Development Manager
* Clerical Officer
* Senior Administrator & Project Support
* Primary Care Commissioning
* Assistant Directors Commissioning & Informatics
* Core Learning Administrator
* Employee & Organisational Development Team
* Long Term Conditions Administration Officer
* Public Health Administrator
* Sexual Health Development Manager
* Clinical Governance Administrator

UPDATE: The ferret has posted a more complete list. It's ridiculously long and worrying.

You WILL be assimilated.

On a recent trip to schools the Home Secretary announced that Manchester was "in the running" to take part in a pilot scheme for ID cards. That'll teach you for rejecting road charging Lucky Manchester.

Strike!

A bunch of workers are unhappy that, under EU rules, a company can employ workers from anywhere within the EU. They've waited until now to realise that this means that they no longer have a guaranteed job and they actually have competition in the workplace. Rather than working harder to show that they deserve their jobs they've decided to protest about it. Other workers have decided to action secondary strikes, a practice that is illegal under the Trade Disputes and Trade Union Act of 1927.


Paul Kenny, the highly paid head of the GMB, said "No company should be able to discriminate against anyone on the grounds of where they were born. You simply cannot say that only Italians can apply for jobs as has happened in this case." He is also quoted as saying "We seem to have arrived at a position in the utilities sector where the multinational companies that own and operate the facilities think they can cock a snook at the laws and collective bargaining arrangements that apply in various European countries."

Maybe he should talk directly to Gordon "British jobs for British workers" Brown.

Meanwhile twice ex-cabinet minister, ex-EU Commissioner for Trade, Lord Mandleson said "Protectionism would be a sure-fire way of turning recession into depression." which is comedy in itself as while EU Commissioner he raised tariffs on imported goods to protect the industries within the EU.