Sunday, May 31, 2009

family day out

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Today was rather warm and we decided that cooking was not an option. Instead we took the juniorffs out on the bikes and rode 5 miles stopping at The Kings Head for some lunch before returning home. As you can see from the photo below both the food and the view from the beer garden were great.

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The juniorffs enjoyed the day too.

Prescott spreads the blame

Robert Anton Wilson often promoted the idea of reading the books your opponents read so that you can understand their mindset. In keeping with this idea I've been having a nose around the blog of the ex-Deputy Prime Minister John 'two jags, two shags' Prescott who is often described as being one of the few Labour people who "get" blogging.

His latest contribution? To claim that along with reform for the way that MPs claim their expenses along with the BBC and NHS. I agree with him that those national bodies need to be transparent about how they spend public money. I'm not convinced that that is the same conversation as how MPs have systematically abused their position for personal gain but there you go.

He's also concerned about a civil servant leaking information to the opposition that could be used to embarrass the Government of the day. Here's Gordon's take on that subject


But that's all in the past isn't it? Line drawn underneath and moved on?

The other point that he raises is that the media need tighter regulation in the wake of the MP expense scandal. He offers the opinion that the Telegraph may have breached the existing regulations if they paid for the disc that contains scans of the receipts and says that tougher regulation is needed because parliament was going to publish the receipts in July anyway. The only problem is that those receipts were in the process of being redacted by the claimants. Ample opportunity for removing embarrassing details from the public eye in the name of 'security'.

John .. .. .. I think you do 'get' blogging, I just don't think you 'get' how angry the public are. At all.

5 months on

About 5 months ago, after a conversation fuelled mainly by Itchen Valley Pure Gold, I started another blog on Wordpress. The idea was that a few of us would add our odd conversations to the library of the bizarre, but the others behind the project have, as yet, singularly failed to contribute to the typing up or the posting even though they continue to be involved in the conversations themselves. It would have been wrong of me to hijack that space for my own personal rantings so I chose to begin writing, still under the manwiddicombe banner, on blogger instead.

I've found the process to be remarkably useful in unloading all of the anger and frustration at the things happening around the world to be very cathartic. I've also had more than a few laughs and become acquainted with the writing of a number of other bloggers as well.

Those of you on who's wordpress blogs I've left comments previously will know that the email address that I set up when I started is not one that I'd choose to circulate, for example, to business contacts. I think that at the outset I wasn't sure if this would last beyond three days, let alone nearly half a year. I've recently set up a new email account that has a more appropriate username, the same one that I've posted somewhere in the sidebar here. I apologise for any confusion that this may have caused with your moderation software.

It's been a great time to be doing this. The number of huge and hugely important things that are happening in the world around us right now have given a constant stream of new things to think about. Not least of those are the excesses of the political system in a time when the economic system is on its knees pleading for mercy. The upcoming elections should provide even more fun.

Am I a "real blogger"? Others have kindly suggested that I qualify for that title but I'm not so sure .. .. .. I often think I'm just screaming at the wind in an effort to clear my head rather than for any other reason. The pedantic side of me says "of course you are, you write a bloody blog don't you?" but then the realist pessimist laughs and points to all of the elegant prose or insightful comment that abounds on the interweb.

You may be wondering why, on such a glorious day, I'm indoors in front of the lappy writing this instead of enjoying the sunshine. Well I did earlier and I'm felling the effects of it now. Exposing my already red skin to more punishment would not be the wisest thing right now.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I’ll clean up politics and let Sun readers hold MPs to account.

I CAME into politics because I wanted to change the world.I love this country and, like most British people, I’m proud of the way that we decide things democratically. We've got no big history of extremism in this country because our Parliament - the oldest in the world - has always been a symbol of how we decide things fairly together.
But our democracy has been discredited by the scandals of recent weeks — revelations that have made me furious because it seems some people have been serving themselves and not the public. So I’m determined to do whatever it takes to clean up politics.
I’ve moved quickly to take action, and there is no way that those who have defied the rules will be standing as Labour candidates at the next election.
But every single MP needs to reflect on what recent weeks have taught us — that the public feel bitterly let down by politics and they want politicians to be showing what we are doing to help them.
The first thing is to clean up the system and for MPs to get back to their constituencies and face the public.
But equally important is for my Labour MPs to explain to families and businesses what we are doing to fight back against the global recession.
I was pleased to be able to meet yesterday owners of brand new cars who have been able to take advantage of the Labour Government’s new scrappage scheme for vehicles over ten years old.
Thirty-five thousand have taken up the offer in just a few weeks.
The scrappage scheme is just one example of the things Government can do to give people a helping hand when times are tough.
New help to give homeowners reassurance against the threat of repossession is another.
That is the kind of thing that I and all Labour MPs came into politics for — and we need to make sure that every one of our constituents know what is on offer to help people through these difficult times.
But to restore lasting trust in politics we also need to change the House of Commons so we put the public in control and ensure MPs are closer to the people they represent.
We need new powers at local level, like giving people powers to call to account their local councillors or giving young people more influence on local budgets and services.
Above all, we need changes that will allow Sun readers to better hold us to account as we focus on the big issues that matter to their lives — saving their jobs and houses from the impact of the downturn, investing in good public services and cracking down on crime.
Those are your priorities and my priorities, and this Government’s focus as we build Britain’s future.

linky

After the headline can anyone see where the proposals are for holding MPs to account? I can see the suggestion about councillors needing to be held to account and young people having more influence on budgets (have things got that desperate that you need to try to get the young vote?) but no mention of the one mechanism that allows people to hold their MP to account.

An election.

C'mon Gordon! Do you really think that the scrappage scheme is going to divert our collective anger against MPs who have been using the expense system to line their pockets at our expense?

voluntary code for garages


vol⋅un⋅tar⋅y - done, made, brought about, undertaken, etc., of one's own accord or by free choice


From the BBC
The car repair industry has been warned that unless it provides a more reliable service to consumers, it faces the prospect of tough new regulation. Only 15 per cent of the UK's estimated 35,000 garages have signed up to a voluntary code brought in last year. The watchdog Consumer Focus is now warning that unless a greater number agree to abide by the code, it will push for industry-wide laws.
I'm struggling to understand in which way this code of conduct is voluntary if refusal to sign up to it will lead to tougher regulation. Doesn't that in effect make it compulsory? Consumer Focus are chomping at the bit to submit a ‘Super Complaint' to the Office of Fair Trading which would lead to all mechanics needing a license to continue working. So garages are faced with a real choice - sign up and be regulated or don't sign up and be regulated.

Surely the real solution to rogue garages and dodgy repairs is for the organisations that already exist to perform their role better? We already have a number of organisations who have the remit to check on the standards in garages.

I've used the same garage for at least the last 10 years for repairing my cars apart from the occasional trip to a main dealer if I can negotiate down the labour rates. I've built up a relationship with the owner of the garage and the senior mechanic there. I know that there are times when they have added phantom charges to my invoice (screenwash being the one that irks me the most) but then there have also been times when they have, at no cost to me, lent me a car while mine is being repaired. Overall I am more than happy with the service they provide and will recommend them to others. If I was not then I'd take my business elsewhere and, if enough people felt the same way, they would cease trading.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Question Time Extra

Nick Watt (from the Guardian) is on the BBC News Channel program Question Time Extra telling people that not voting is the same as spoiling your ballot paper.



That's twice in under two hours that the BBC has forwarded the "don't vote" agenda.

The ManWiddicombe Question Time Award

.. .. .. for the first, unprompted mention of the BNP by a panel member.



And the winner is?



Step forward Labour Minister for Europe Caroline Flint.


You utter hoon.

Sir John Butterfill: Coverage from the BBC

I've just seen the video report on the BBC South Today News slot, following the main ten o'clock news, about the expenses scandal surrounding Sir John Butterfill. As part of the story they had soundbite interviews with three local people all of who expressed the opinion that there was no point in going and voting.

Now the BBC might argue that they are representing the opinion of people in the street but sending out the message that there is no point in voting? I strongly disagree.

Letsby Avenue, Sheffield


H/T to Anna Raccoon for pointing out the name of the road that the entrance to this Sheffield police station is situated.




Who says the police don't have a sense of humour?

Question Time later tonight.. .. ..

.. .. .. looks like it has the potential to be cracking! The advertised line up of guests has a Euro Election feel with among others, Caroline Flint, Daniel Hannan and Nigel Farage.

This blog's distaste for Ms Flint has been previously documented and, like over 2 million others, I was impressed by the Dan Hannan video that went viral a couple of months ago.

With the viewing figures for Question Time hitting new highs due to the mire of the expenses scandal currently enveloping parliament this is a major platform for the parties to lay out their stalls for next week's Euro elections. I'm interested to see how Hannan performs as I've only seen him debating with an incoherent opponent.

A cup of tea and some naughty biscuits at the ready .. .. ..

Telephone bill.

I've just had a peek at the online listings of Conservative expenses and one of the claims jumped out

£219.04 monthly invoice? What kind of call plan is that then? One that is dwarfed by Liam Fox's claim for £698 for a month with vodaphone.

I'm sure there is a good reason for having these particular call plans.. .. ..

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Biking Mad!


The BBC is reporting a problem with the new 'swerve test' that has been added to the process for obtaining a motorbike license. Apparently
The government is under pressure to rethink its new motorcycle test following a series of crashes in the first few weeks of its use.Some instructors blame a new "swerve test", which they say is dangerous - particularly in the wet. The Driving Standards Agency (DSA) said the test was needed to help reduce deaths of motorcyclists on the roads.

It said the test was designed by professionals in conjunction with the motorcycle industry and 300 trials were carried out before it was brought in. During the test, learners have to reach 50km/h, then perform a swerve, on special test centre tracks.

The new test was brought in at the end of April and in the first three and a half weeks there were 15 incidents during the exam, with at least one rider left with broken bones.
So the new test is hurting people, causing injuries including broken bones in an attempt to reduce accidents? You couldn't make it up!

As I read the article I was struck by one thing that I consider even more worrying. Why, when all of our speed limits are measured in m/h, is the test speed measured in km/h?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Nip and Tuck

Nick Clegg, commenting on proposals put forward by David Cameron today for parliamentary reform, said

"I think David Cameron's ideas are fine as far as they go but they don't go far enough."

I'm inclined to agree Nick, they don't go far enough. I'd like to see some of the policy proposals from the 2005 OMRLP manicfesto introduced including this one

"Any cabinet minister found telling lies will be shot across the English Channel in a high velocity circus cannon"


You never know, it might help clean up politics a little.

Borrowed from elsewhere

I've just read this open letter to Nadine Dorres written by Obnoxio. Rather than just sing his praises I'll cheekily reproduce it here in all of it's glory.


"Since the comments on her blog appear to be dysfunctional,* I thought I'd post them here:

Oh, poor you. I've been watching your public meltdown with some horror, and wondering to myself: is this woman actually fit to be making the laws of this country?

Let's face it, Nadine, no matter how you dress it up, MP's brought this upon themselves. And you can't even use the "few bad apples" rubbish, because it sounds like half or possibly more of currently sitting MP's will lose their jobs because of this. It's not a minority. I am quite certain that 600+ MP's would have been sacked by my employer for making repeated claims that did not even abide by the very generous Green Book guidance, if my employer used the Green Book. But rest assured, Nadine, my employer's expense policy is much, MUCH stricter than yours and our expenses checkers are not compliant and do not encourage us to use our expenses as a salary top-up, they are tough and will question the smallest amount of money. I have had to justify spending £2 on a cup of coffee for a customer.

Not that you would know what a cup of coffee costs in the unsubsidised, taxed, real world.

Don't give the electorate a sob story about how difficult and financially unrewarding it is, because if that were really the case, you'd be struggling to find people to sit in Parliament, and there is no shortage of people wanting to be a candidate, is there?

£60K-plus is a good wage, and I (and everybody but the most swivel-eyed) would have no problem with MP's claiming reasonable, auditable and audited expenses for their jobs. Your pettifogging hooey about "only the rich will be able to afford to be MP's" is a crock of ordure, nobody wants that. You are setting up a straw man argument here.

What we want is for MP's to be as honest as they expect us to be. You make the rules by which we all have to live, and then in a display of bare-faced effrontery, exempt yourselves from the most annoying of these. You are allowed to use accountants tax-free to fill in your tax returns; we are not. You are allowed to exempt yourselves from appearing in various state databases; we are not. You are allowed to smoke in your place of work; we are not. You use taxpayer money to subsidise the food and drink in your place of work; we get nothing.

And please stop the pathetic mewling about "little old me" and realise that you live an exalted life compared to all but the richest in Britain. Other people may have more money, but they have to use their own money to exempt themselves from the more unpleasant rigours of British life, while you and your fellow MP's can achieve this at the stroke of a pen at someone else's expense.

Shame on you.

*Much like she is, the mad old bat."


Thank you Mr Clown.

Local Electioneering: Labour flyer arrives!

I'd been left wondering if the local Labour party was ever going to show its face before the local elections. We've had a basic mailshot from the Conservatives and a visit from an activist (sadly I was working when they came) and finally, the glossy enticements from Labour have arrived. In marked comparison to the more sober blue leaflet the glossy *exciting* red leaflet with zingy fonts encourages us to "vote for change".

It highlights 6 reasons to vote Labour.

1. Planning for People
10,000 new homes will be built at the Harbour. IT WILL BE A NIGHTMARE if Transport infrastructure, Schools & Health provision don't come first. Labour will make sure of it.

Labour will make sure it is a disaster or isn't a disaster? I only ask because as recently as 22 April there are reports welcoming the decision by The Badger to kick start house building.


2. Stranded!

WSCC threatens chaos by closing Shoreham's Footbridge for 6 months, cutting off thousands of residents, pensioners and school children.

Closing the bridge and performing repairs on the structure is a bad thing? I can't think of a safe and sensible alternative.

3. concensus
It's that word again .. .. .. ..

4. Families
Conservative Party domination has led to complacency, waste and delay. Little opposition, no urgency, no action; Where are the vital Worthing and Fishersgate's Children & Family Centres, funded by the Governmant, lost in the Council.

The pedant in me is screaming at the lack of a question mark.

Single party domination is bad for the political process? I don't remember any political party that has, on winning a landslide victory, decided that having a large majority was bad for the process and demanded another election. In an area where the A&E departments of the hospitals are being 'rationalised' (or, as the residents prefer, closed) I'm not sure that we need family centres.

5. environment

Labour created the National Parks strategy in 1949. In 2009 we can celebrate the South Downs National Park. Against entrenched opposition you won your right to protect and enjoy our beautiful world

Among the MTB group that I ride with there is concern that National Park status will actually reduce the access that we are entitled to on the land that we currently ride on. Now this status has been granted there's no way back and if those that think that mountain bikes damage the land then more and more restrictions will eventually be placed upon the type of use.

6. waste
When only one party dominates the Council they can get away with daylight robbery. WSCC can price a Pelican Crossing at £50,000! Your Roads, Your Safety - and Your Money.

I had a quick check around council sites on the internet. The price for a pelican crossing seems to be around £40,000 in 2003, depending on the width of the road and other local considerations. In that perspective £50k in 2009 is not all that unreasonable. I'm also unsure how a change in majority party in the council would reduce that cost.




Overall: mildly amusing.

The vagaries of the internet

I've had no internet connection for 36 hours. I was reading a post by The LandedUnderlass when it decided to sulk in the corner and refuse to come out to play choosing instead to flick its V's at all who tried to coax it out of its tantrum. We tried everything we could think of - music, begging, food, ignoring it, pleading with it - all to no avail. Eventually it decided, while we were concentrating on other things, to reconnect on its own.

Naturally I don't blame Mr Underclass for the lack of connectivity.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Observations on survivng the NHS: A personal perspective

Having just read the post pub ramblings of leg-iron I feel the need to get this off my chest.

A couple of years ago I needed medical assistance after I'd discovered that my MTB skills didn't match my perceived ability*. I duly presented myself at A&E and was examined, told it was a sprain and sent home. As I hopped into my kitchen two days later a coven of women** insisted that I visit my GP for a second opinion. I was forcibly taken to the surgery and re-examined, my foot now extremely swollen and hot. The doctor who saw me advised returning to the A&E but to wait until 9am the following morning as a new shift of staff would have started and I'd get better treatment. Apparently a Friday night is not a good time to visit A&E.. .. ..

On this second visit x-rays were taken of my injury and a brake discovered in a part of the joint usually reserved for OAPs to injure. I was plastered and referred to the fracture clinic where I first met the surgeon who would, once the swelling had sufficiently subsided, operate to rebuild the broken joint. Approximately 2 weeks later I got the nod and my operation was booked for 3 days time.

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I arrived at the ward on a Tuesday night, was operated on on Wednesday afternoon***, and had discharged myself by Thursday evening against the advice of the hospital staff.**** I felt caged. I was fed up of having stranger after stranger ask me to confirm my identity, my GP surgery, the reason for my operation etc etc. I know why these things are important, to prevent mistakes, but it doesn't make the process any more tolerable. It felt as if everyone had a checkbox data sheet to complete to show that they had performed their duties correctly. That's not to say the staff themselves were bad because I think they actually did a pretty good job. The system, the culture, of proof that has grown up within hospitals may prevent some mistakes but it isn't a positive experience for the user.

The food was disgusting. The story that the French created sauces and gravies to disguise the flavour of the meats they were eating? The NHS canteens have taken it to heart. Never before, and hopefully never again, have I eaten food with such a heavy handed use of herbs.


To summarise then I think the NHS is good at its core responsibilities. The operation was a success and I have the movement that my surgeon said that I would*****. I limp slightly but that is to be expected. What the NHS is not as good at is making people feel like people. It isn't necessarily the fault of the front line staff. They do a great job, in my opinion, dealing with idiots like me who have hurt themselves in ever more creative ways but the systems they have to adhere to aren't allowing them any flexibility and remove most of their control or decision making. If I'm not prepared to lie in bed when I'm told, sit in the chair next to the bed staring at the floor when I'm told, then I become a 'problem patient' instead of a patient with a problem. I felt more relaxed once I'd returned home with the juniorffs running around than I did in what is supposed to be a healing environment.










*I ended up upside down, hanging on a barbed wire fence, with much pain in my ankle.
** Well maybe not an actual coven although there were three adult females standing talking with a large cooking pot in the center of the conversation.
*** Can I just state, for the record, the morphine is fucking lovely? If ever you are offered it for medical reasons take it, then ask for some more.
**** They had wanted me to remain in hospital for 7 days of post op assessment.
***** About 90% of pre-stupidity but with the added bonus of premature arthritis. If you are lucky enough not to suffer from this yet then try to imagine someone shoving a red hot knife into one of your joints and then twisting, for about half an hour or so.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Free Sackboy!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

e-newsletter

The latest installment from my local MP
Welcome to my latest e-newsletter at what has been a very turbulent time at Westminster by any measure. As I write the Speaker has just announced that he is to stand down on June 21st and there will be elections for a new Speaker on June 22nd. There is to be a major overhaul of MPs expenses ahead of the full review by the Kelly Commission which is due to report in the autumn.

This has been a truly depressing time for all of us and the reputation of Parliament and Parliamentarians has been enormously damaged. On behalf of all colleagues I am sorry for the breach of confidence that has angered so many members of the public and I am in no doubt about the extent of the task ahead of us to restore it.

Predictably I have received a number of emails and letters from constituents annoyed about what has happened and I have been happy to respond to them in detail with a full explanation of my own situation. As someone who has voluntarily posted details of my expenses on my website and in my Annual Report for some years my position should have come as no surprise. I also issued the following statement to the local press:

'I have always supported any moves to make the workings of MPs more transparent and accountable, which is why I have published fuller details of my expenses on my website voluntarily for some years. Since becoming an MP in 1997, I have maintained the same two properties – a house in West Sussex just outside my constituency and a flat in Westminster in walking distance from the House of Commons where I usually stay during the week. Both these properties were purchased without any public funds. No refurbishments have been claimed for, no gains have been realised. As anyone can see from my website, my normal working week averages over 70 hours when Parliament is sitting. That includes several days a week when I am in my Commons office by 7.30 in the morning and not leaving until after 11pm, which makes commuting wholly impractical. As the leaked receipts show, I have claimed for running costs on that one property, which include mortgage interest, utility bills, council tax and insurance. I have never charged any capital goods, gardening, cleaning, mock beam installation or moat clearance or the like! I am more than happy to justify any of these expenses to my constituents which fully comply with the rules, and which, more importantly, comply with the spirit of parliamentary expenses being necessary to enable me to get on with my job in more than one place of work, working unsociable hours and being accountable to my constituents.'

Any constituent wanting to discuss any of this with me can easily do so. To make it even easier I am planning to hold a special street surgery.



I have taken the opportunity to visit www.conservatives.com but the page where the expenses are published is currently down. Added to that, the 'Right to Know' documents that I can find relate to a period from 1st April to 30th June 2008. Hardly what one would consider current.

Number 10

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Is it just me or does this image, taken from google maps, look like a baby's bottle with the number 10 on it? Maybe it's not just the toys that have been thrown from the pram recently .. .. .. ..

PMQs 20 May 09

Moments into his reply to the first question Gorgon said
....the problems that Royal Mail has got to facing up to. It's losing 5 million letters per year.
which had to be hastily corrected to the number of letters delivered has fallen by 5 million on previous years. He needed to be rescued by Michael 'nearly-ex-speaker' Martin
Order order. I won't allow anyone barracking the Prime Minister. It won't be allowed.
Moving on to Cameroon's first question about Gorgon's comment that a general election would cause "chaos". Gorgon responded
What would cause chaos is if a Conservative Government were to be elected
Sounds confident doesn't he?
All of Gorgon's answers pressed the idea that the Conservatives would cut public spending. He sounds more and more like the leader of the opposition every single day.

Unintended Consequences

This gem, found by way of the Adur Brewery, is picked apart by Dick Puddlecoat.
Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill said: "We are not anti-alcohol, but Scotland has got its relationship with the bottle out of kilter. It's not the drink, it's how we're drinking – we need to get things back in balance."

"Our regulations to prevent alcohol being displayed in more than one area of a shop were designed to prevent alcohol being displayed all over the store to encourage impulse buying."

"Clearly, alcohol sold at attractions to promote and increase understanding of the skill that goes into producing fine premium drinks such as malt whiskies doesn't fall into this category."

"That is why, when these unintended consequences were drawn to our attention, I was more than happy to look at the situation. I am now laying regulations in Parliament that mean these attractions can make sure their gift shops are able to continue to trade in a way which complements the rest of the experience."
Where do I begin? I've no experience of shopping north of the border but I assume that, as with most supermarkets that I've visited, the alcohol is generally restricted to one area of the store with possibly some promotional deals being given more prominence. Just last night my local Tesco (no, not this one) had a display of discounted wine near the main entrance as well as the aisles of alcohol towards the far end of the layout. So that's twice that I wasn't tempted to buy alcohol instead of just once on that shopping trip. If I was among the fevered anti-alcohol brigade I could reward myself with two smug grins and two pats on the back for showing such resolve.

Then there is the admission that this legislation had unintended consequences. I agree with Dick Puddlecoat when he says
Splutter! Unintended consequences, you say? Why is a parliament, which is paid a hefty wedge by the taxpayer, not able to fathom such a consequence before committing to a particular course of action? Why on earth did this need to be 'drawn to their attention'?

Daft beyond belief.
Too much legislation is passed through Parliament that has "unintended consequences". Not enough time or thought is given to how it will be interpreted legally and too much time is given to how it looks politically. Knee jerk laws, following an agenda whatever the cost, rule by spin and soundbite. The cracks are showing and more and more people are noticing.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Pringles: They ARE crisps

A ruling that Pringles are crisps for VAT purposes by a Court of Appeal judge today has overturned a previous ruling by the High Court. Proctor and Gamble now face an annual VAT bill of £20 million on the sale of Pringles alone.

Having seen some of the information that has emerged from the case including that Pringles are made from a deep fried dough that contains 42% potato I'm wondering if the sales may drop slightly.


In totally unrelated news a cheese slice can only be described as a cheese slice if it has over 51% cheese content.

New Speaker

I think I've found the ideal candidate.

Spot the mistake


The eagle eyed video gaming pedants among you will easily spot the mistake with this advert that ASDA placed in national newspapers today. For those of you who are not among this group then here is a clue.






If you still haven't spotted it then I'll explain. ASDA runs the 'Roll Back' campaign where they claim to roll back the prices to years gone by. When the Nintendo Wii was first sold in the UK in December 2006 its retail price was £179.99 so to slap the 'Roll Back' logo onto this advert is ridiculous. The retail price of the Wii is lower now than it has been since release with many retailers offering discounts and deals to tempt people to buy one now that the massive demand is starting to tail off. Rolling Back the price to 2006/07 levels is precisely what they are not doing.

Fair Weather Friends


Not the best choice of wording from the BBC as the Chief Medical Officer has begun its attempt to spread panic at the possibility of a decent summer this year. A fair weather friend is one who is with you during the good times but deserts you when things get difficult. I think someone got carried away after reading about 'flu friends' in the swine flu leaflet.

According to the heatwave plan 2009 [pdf] the threshold temperatures for a heatwave are what I would consider to be a decent summer.
Why is the temperature threshold at which media hysteria kicks in higher in the South than the North?

Most of the information being distributed falls squarely into the 'common sense' category from 'drink liquids' to 'sit down in a shady place' to 'open the windows to get a breeze', although the suggestion that we should all paint our houses white is a touch extreme (and, as far as I'm aware, not proven scientifically to make a difference). Why we need such a campaign is beyond me although the BBC does seem to be trying to bang the Global Warming drum this week.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Place your bets please!



Ladbrookes are offering odds on the new Speaker .. .. .. 250/1 for Gordon Brown? I'd have thought 1000/1 was more appropriate.

Rubberduckzilla



H/T to the Adur Brewery Blog

Twins


Taken from the report in the Mirror (other tabloids also exist)
Baby boys Justin and Jordan Washington are definitely not your average twin brothers - because they have different fathers.Mum Mia Washington was having an affair when she conceived and her husband James and her lover managed to fertilise two different eggs. Initially Mia suspected nothing but after a few months she became concerned after noticing her sons had very different facial features.So she had the boys, now 11 months old, DNA tested and discovered Jordan was James's son while Justin was fathered by her lover, who she has not named. Experts say it is not unknown for non-identical twins to have different fathers but it is rare.
Initially she thought she'd got away with cheating on her husband and had not been found out to be an unfaithful trollop but the guilt began to gnaw away at her until she couldn't live with it any more. She had to know if her actions, that put her husband's health at risk, would be discovered and realising that there was a chance of living proof she had a DNA test done hoping that it would put her mind at rest. It didn't.
Mia, from Dallas, Texas, said: "Out of all the people in America and all the people in the world, this had to happen to me."
Mia, from Dallas, Texas, said: "Not only am I a cheating slut but also I'm stupid too. Who would have thought that having unprotected sexual relations could lead to pregnancy."

Monday, May 18, 2009

Not Troughing Update

The list I started is proving difficult to maintain. For some MPs it is reasonably straightforward to decide whether they are, for all intents and purposes, milking the system dry and therefore should be omitted. There are very very few clear cut cases that have been brought to my attention. Until the dust has settled it's very hard to continue.

Each time I think I've found another name to add to the list a new revelation then casts that into doubt. I used to work with the son of one of the MPs from these parts, and through him knew the son of another. At the moment both of their fathers seem relatively honest but even with the tenuous connection I'm afraid to stick my neck out and add them just in case.

Meanwhile, in other news, the Speaker of the House has declared that MPs should refrain from submitting expense claims until the situation is sorted. Does he mean the lack of confidence in his position as Speaker or the appalling way the expenses culture has been abused?

Eurovision Winner

I heard a rumour that the winner of Eurovision 2009 was an MP but it turns out he's just a man on the fiddle.. .. .. .. ..

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Hit chidren with mallets!



Via the CTC forum I found this game to teach the dangers of not wearing a cycling helmet. The video above shows the action .. .. .. use a mallet to whack children who are not wearing a helmet. How long until the hand wringing starts about the potential for copycat attacks in playgrounds across the country followed by calls to have it removed?

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Maybe this is the answer


h/t to Mr Eugenides

Eurovision 2009


This year's Eurovision Song Contest final takes place in Moscow tonight. After years of involvement with the competition Terry Wogan has decided that his liver can no longer stand the punishment and the commentary baton has been passed to Graham Norton. How he performs tonight is possibly more important than the competition itself. Will his particular brand of acerbic voiceover be able to replace the resigned mutterings of the older Irishman? We'll know later.

The voting rules have changed again this year too. I remember the days where the representative from the Eurovision Panel of each competing nation would hog as much airtime as possible to promote themselves. This was replaced by the money generating telephone vote where the viewers of every nation under the Eurovision umbrella decided where their country would allocate the magic 'douze points'. Even more predictable than before this system has been used to promote harmony between neighbouring countries.

Not this year though. Oh no. This year there is an 'expert panel' who will allocate points to countries to reduce the impact of this alledged vote rigging. Or, in other words, you the people can't be trusted to vote for the right choices so we will assist you. There is a rumour that, if successful, a similar system will be introduced in the next voting reform bill to pass through parliaments of all European nations.

How will the new voting system impact on the UK entry's chances? After last year when we came last (25th) with 14 points, or 2007 when we were 22nd with 19 points it can hardly be damaging to our Eurovision reputation.

Expenses by the Numbers

According to The Daily Politics the following sums of Money are to be repaid by MPs of different parties where they think they have overclaimed.

Lib Dems - £2,734.00

Conservatives - £20,343.50

Labour - £102,406.00

Another phantom mortgage

Coming almost immediately after the scandal that enveloped Elliot Morely and the claims for £16,000 for a non-existent mortgage is the scandal of another Labour MP caught doing exactly the same thing. David Chaytor only claimed £13,000 mortgage interest on a mortgage that he no longer had.

How many more are there?

Friday, May 15, 2009

Ann Widdecombe: Out of touch with reality

From the Independent
When you are spending most of your time in London, you have to pay for someone to cut the grass. Who else was going to cut my grass? The cat? The cat did not even live in my second home.
Well Widders (can I call you that? Never mind I'm going to anyway) it's like this.. .. .. when I work 15 hours or more per day, seven days a week my grass still grows and still needs cutting. I have a simple choice - cut it myself or pay someone else to cut it for me. What I certainly cannot do is to claim that expense back and that, in a nutshell, is the problem. We mere mortals do not have the luxury of a 'no questions asked' expense account, somewhat different to the way that Parliamentary expenses have been viewed until very recently.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Question Time: The "it was the rules" edition

A delightful Dimbleby turn of phrase during this feisty edition
"Margaret Beckett. You've been fingered a bit by the Telegraph"

Registration Form

doubleTwist


A new multimedia, multi device, multi platform application has recently been released. doubleTwist allows you to drag and drop media files between (nearly) all of your devices without needing to install each manufacturers software. It works offline and online so sharing your photos to Flickr or transferring mp3s to your iPod can be handled by one integrated interface. Available for OSX or Windows.

It looks nice too and is free to download and use.

PMQs 13th May

Others have discussed the overall feeling of PMQs this week but one line from David Cameron stood out for me. He said
"How much needs to be paid back is not really a legal issue, it's actually a moral and ethical issue"
Sorry Dave but that really worries me. It feels to me that while you are trying to show leadership on the issue, something sadly lacking from Gordon Brown, you are as disconnected from the reality that the majority of the country face. Every person who has made an error on their tax return, every person that mistakenly claimed too much from the DSS (or whatever that has been rebranded to now) who has faced criminal proceedings will look at that line and wonder why an MP should be exempt from the laws that apply to the rest of us.

I myself was on the receiving end of a fine after a VAT audit of my business revealed an error in my accountant's calculations. I had submitted all of my VAT returns in good faith, I believed they complied with the rules, yet it was proven that they did not, and I was financially penalised for that even though it was not my mistake because I had signed to say they were correct. I receive requests from the VOA to submit details of my business premises that carry the threat of a £1000 fine if I fail to correctly complete the forms they enclose. Maybe this kind of menace would help to focus the minds of our politicians.

One rule for all of us. No exceptions. No exemptions.

Caroline Flint (looking drab)

Being questioned via video link about MPs expenses on the Daily Politics a few minutes ago Ms Flint stuck to the current favourite responses including

"the system"
"the rules"
"it was the rules"
"we need to sort out the rules"
and
"change the rules"

First Resignation

Andrew MacKay has resigned his position as David Cameron's Parliamentary aide after it emerged that he and his wife, Tory MP Julie Kirkbride, claim second home allowance on two seperate properties reports the BBC.

Resigning your position within Parliament is not enough.

Elliot Morely

I'm no expert in the legal system but .. .. .. if the allegations in the Telegraph are correct then surely Elliot Morely* must be expecting a visit from the police?

Did he really continue to claim £800 in mortgage interest for 18 months after the loan was repayed? I can't conceive a situation where he would not be aware that mortgage had ended. And to make matters even more unbelievable he then 'flipped' designation of his primary residence to a property he owned in London that he was renting out to a Ian Cawsey, Labour Party vice-chairman**. Mr Cawsey is reported as saying
“I do not have any interest or ownership rights to [the London house] or on any other home except my family home in my constituency. I receive no financial or personal gain from these arrangements.”
attempting to distance himself from the backlash of the revelations of this arrangement. Mr Morely has apparently repaid 'some' of the money but is very reticent to say precisely how much less than all of it.

From my perspective this has to be the clearest case of fraud yet. If Parliament really wants to rebuild its tarnished image then cases like this have to be exposed to the full extent of the law.







*If you've ever wondered who put the c**t in Scunthorpe then you might be a little closer to determining the answer.

**Isn't it nice to see the word chairman being used by the political party that is pressing the sexual equality agenda? When will that title be changed to chairperson I wonder?

the forces of bumbledom

Through a convoluted route (freedom2choose via readwald) I've just read this by Gerald Warner.


What are you waiting for? Go and read it.

The search continues

Directions received from Prodicus lead me to the Blog of Paul Waugh and a short list of MPs that are claiming very little in the way of expenses.
Grieve -zero, herbert £ 323, Hague £336
I realise that these names may warrant further scrutiny but for now at least I've added them to my list.


In other news Devil's Kitchen has suggested that he may resurrect the site honestmps.org which, if it goes ahead, prove a useful resource in the same way as fakecharities.org

The sooner the House of Commons, or the Telegraph, publish a full list of the claims made by and paid to all MPs the sooner we can all see who is abusing the system and who is using it fairly.

Seen elsewhere



Me? A real blogger? HahahaHAhAHAHAHahaha

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Smoking ban; exploiting a loophole?

Kerry Fenton, landlady of Cutting Edge in Worsbrough, Barnsley has turned one room of her pub into a Smoking Research Center. Patrons of her pub can complete surveys into smoking habits while enjoying a pint (or three) in a specially designated area of the pub.

James Martin, has discovered a potential loophole the legislation (part two, item nine of the Smoke-free (Exemptions and Vehicles) Regulation 2007 if you're asking) for the smoking ban and one pub in Barnsley is already testing it. The regulations set out conditions for research into smoking and state
"a designated room in a research or testing facility" does not have to be smoke-free "whilst it is being used for any research or tests".
Barnsley Council officials have pointed out that the Cutting Edge is "clearly not a research or test facility" and therefore not exempt from the smoking ban. Enforcement officers are expected to visit the premises and take action, presumably issuing fines. News of the loophole caused confusion in Whitehall. The Home Office said it was a Dept of Health matter, the Dept of Health said it was Home Office problem.

Cutting Edge is owned by Punch Taverns who, according to their press statements, are unhappy with the Research Room even though it has boosted trade dramatically in the 6 days it has been conducting research.

More information here or here or here


UPDATE: I've just watched this video on the BBC and Simon Frow, from Barnsley Council, comes across as a tosser. He says that the intention of the legislation is clear. Research means physical research, flammability tests etc, and no serious research could be carried out in a pub.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Not Troughing - Kelvin Hopkins

The Telegraph highlights the expenses claims of Labour MP Kelvin Hopkins who
joins the thousands of commuters who take the Thameslink service from Luton to London each weekday morning, rather than maintaining a property near the Commons at taxpayers’ expense .

The Labour MP for Luton North submits claims occasionally for rooms at inexpensive hotels, and prefers to return home to Bedfordshire at night.

The only other expense he claimed since 2005, were two food bills for a total of £36.45
I've added him to the list I'm compiling.

Bill Hicks

All governments are lying cocksuckers. - Philosophy



"I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs." "I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking." "Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!" - Rant in E minor



Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um, — they're no longer relevant - Filling Up The Hump

Monday, May 11, 2009

Tory Expenses

The Telegraph reports that

*Alan Duncan, responsible for Conservative policy on expenses, tried on one occasion to claim £3,194.50 for landscaping his garden, £598 to service a ride on lawn mower and £41 for repairing a puncture.
*Oliver Letwin claimed £2145.55 to repair an underground pipe
* David Willetts paid £100 of our money for workmen to change 25 lightbulbs in his house
*Michael Gove seems to have been 'flipping' his second home designation to be able to furnish more than one property
*Cheryl Gillan, the shadow Welsh secretary, claimed for dog food on her expenses.
*George Osborne, the shadow chancellor, claimed for a chauffeur using his office allowance.



And it carries on and on and on .. .. .. ..

Gordon Apologises!

But what is he actually apologising for? From the BBC

"I want to apologise on behalf of politicians on behalf of all parties for what has happened in the events of the last few days."

"We must show that, where mistakes have been made and errors have been discovered, where wrongs have to be righted, that that is done so immediately."
The events of the last few days? Would that be the exposure of greed and excess by the Telegraph.

The wrongs to be righted? Would that be setting up an auditing body with the expressed intention to tender that out to a private company so that the information is no longer subject to FOI requests?

Gutted!


Juniorff3 launched himself at a solid object this afternoon and a trip to the local A&E department was in order to glue him back together. He was absolutely gutted that his flesh wound didn't require stitching. Tomorrow's playground tale has somewhat lost its edge.

We waited for an hour and a half after checking in at reception which, given the lack of severity of his injury and the fullness of the waiting room, was pretty good. What annoyed me slightly was then having to wait for a second nurse to check him over, and fill out a tick box chart, as he'd hit his head. He was clearly fine and this back covering exercise was a waste of their time and our time.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Hazel Blears Speaks Out

H/T to Anna Racoon


From the Police Reform Conference Tuesday August 16th 2005
On a very basic level - people pay taxes and want to know that their money is making a difference.

From the Labour Party Conference 2008
"I always say "Politics is one of the most fulfilling things you can do in your community. Watch wasteground become a playground, see windows mended, walls painted, and even lives turned around."
What changed her mind?

Quote of the Minute

Phil 'caught at the trough' Woolas
"The claim is one document and the receipts are another. The fact that they both add up to the same amount doesn't prove anything. It doesn't mean that the fees office paid for the non-food items on the receipt."
So the receipts you submitted are in no way connected to the expenses you claimed?

Not Troughing?

Just a thought .. .. .. does anyone have a list of MPs who have not been caught with their hand in our pockets?


Names* that has been mentioned so far -
Hilary Benn
Alan Johnson

UPDATED 11 May 09:
William Hague
David Cameron

UPDATED 12 May 09
Kelvin Hopkins
Philip Hollobone
Kate Hoey

UPDATED 13 May 09
Dominic Grieve
Nick Herbert

Are there any more?



*It might turn out that they are just better at hiding their excesses

National Minimum Wage

There are rumblings from the Unions about the announcement due soon regarding NMW. Apparently the rise in NMW in October is mooted to be around 5p per hour although as yet this is unconfirmed.
Gordon Brown provoked fury last night over plans to raise the minimum wage by a paltry 5p.It would increase the hourly rate of low-paid adults just 0.8 per cent to £5.78 - the lowest in the policy's history.

Campaigners called it a slap in the face for hard-up workers when the Government has splashed out around £37billion bailing out Britain's reckless bankers.Unison leader Dave Prentis said: "The Government cannot be serious. This would be a pitifully low increase. It's not going to help the low-paid meet their rising heating and housing costs."

Senior Whitehall sources have told the Mirror they expect ministers to announce the few pence rise next week.
Given the current financial situation and with deflation still a serious possibility isn't it time to freeze NMW? With businesses still making staff redundant in a desperate attempt to remain trading isn't it time for the unions to realise that £5.73 per hour is better than being unemployed? NMW rises affect small business the most, as do many of the changes to employment law, and with so many small businesses precariously balanced right now is it wise to push them closer to the edge? NMW does not make low paid employees more wealthy. It only creates the illusion of more wealth.

If the Government really wanted to help very low paid employees they would remove them from the taxation system by raising the personal allowances to £10,000 or £12,000 per year which would have the added benefits of not penalising the owners of small businesses and not adding inflationary pressure to the economy.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Swarm!

video


I've just looked outside and in the middle of the road there are a large number of bees. At least I hope they're bees and not wasps or killer bees.

Not my fault guv, it's the system innit?

As Guido pointed out in The Guide To Expenses Lies the denials have been consistent since the start of the published revelations of the expenses that MPs are claiming. Every MP that I have heard on a news item and every written article I've read blames "the system" and says "the system" needs to change. Our illustrious Prime Minister had his gurning youtube moment saying that things must change a few days before the revelations were made public and now uses that as his defence, claiming he'd already said that "things need to change" in a way that should somehow absolve him from all wrongdoing.

Here's the thing. I run a small business and I can therefore claim some of my expenses back against my tax bill. I can claim for items that are used directly in the running of my business; the cost of raw materials, the cost of employing staff to work in my business, the cost of the utilities in my business premises, stationary, postage, computer supplies .. .. .. all that are used for my business. I can't claim for anything at all associated with my home. At this point you might argue that I need a more creative accountant .. .. .. ..

MPs, however, have built up a system that allows them to furnish second homes, repair them, have them cleaned, all at the expense of the taxpayer. Things that a mere mortal is not allowed to do. Televisions, DVD players, VCRs, hifis, cookers, tumble dryers, pot plants, barbeques .. .. .. these are the things that should be paid for from their salaries, not from the public purse. If you are working for the modal income in the UK of around £15,000 pa then an MPs basic salary of £64,000 looks very generous indeed. All of those people earning £15k still have to furnish their home, pay their rent or mortgage and pay for repairs out of their salary.

I like simple solutions. So here's mine.

1)All MPs have to publish in full, via the internet and a monthly magazine, every receipt for every claim they make. Every single one. In full. Every claim has to directly relate to their job or it will be rejected. Standard Fares on trains, overnight stays in Travelodge (other economy hotel chains are also acceptable), and bus tickets will be accepted.

2)Parliamentary and constituency offices will have a sum approved each year and any costs over that amount must be met by the MP from their salary. That sum is for all associated costs including staff and rent.

3)MPs will not be able to employ any direct relative.

UK Swine Flu now 39 confirmed cases

Photobucket

All the talk of the swine at Westminster has moved the media spotlight away from Swine Flu. There are now 39 confirmed cases and, according to the new BBC map, the one previously confirmed case in Redditch is no longer counted. I wonder why?

Friday, May 8, 2009

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

As day 1 of the MPs expenses revelations draws to a close I've yet to hear a single politician say sorry. Not one. Gordon gurned on a train while saying that change is needed, Hazel hurried off after saying she's only ever owned one flat at a time, but no apology. Compare that to this from M&S after the public were angry over an extra charge for larger bras
Why are politicians unable to realise the public are furious about this issue? When you make the rules then bend them to the extent that they have been there is only one dignified option .. .. .. apologise and resign.

MPs Expenses

Photobucket


The Telegraph has begun publishing the full and frank list of MPs expenses. Not so long ago The Secretary of State for Business said the smear row was over. How right he was. This story however has a long way to go.


UPDATE: The BBC is carrying this quote from Sir Stuart Bell, who sits on the House of Commons Commission which oversees the terms of employment for all political staff,
"If this was received by unauthorised means, it is disgraceful that a national newspaper should stoop so low as to buy information which will be in the public domain in July.

"It undermines the very basis of our democracy and is against all the rules of fair play, rewards thieves or leakers of information who may be in breach of contract and does no service to our democracy."
Say What? How do you have the audacity to talk about the rules of fair play, thieves and stooping low when Parliament went out of it's way to hide from the public how it was spending the public's money? Are you on medication for fuck's sake? Do you need someone to check the dosage? When Parliament sets the financial example that it has why should we, your employers, act differently?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The National Fund

The National Fund is a charity (1046814) that was set up in 1927 that could prove very interesting. It only has one stated aim
THE AIM OF THE CHARITY IS TO CREATE A FUND, THAT EITHER ON ITS OWN OR COMBINED WITH OTHER FUNDS IS SUFFICIENT TO DISCHARGE THE NATIONAL DEBT.
Started in 1927 with a mixed investment of £500,000 the accounts for year end 2008 [pdf], submitted on Feb 5th 2009, are worth reading. At that point the fund had accumulated the small sum of £280,633,063.00


Two Hundred and Eighty Million quid? Even if it took a battering in the last 12 months there must still be a substantial amount of money to play with. Which leads to the question of which Chancellor will get to play with it?

Obnoxio unmasked!

Photobucket
I'm indebted to Norbert Trouser-Quandary for this little gem.



Mr Clown is not best pleased (if the comments there are anything to go by).

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Sneeze - The Game

Play Here

Turn the sound up loud.

Suitable for all those with a twisted sense of humour.

103mph

With a large dose of "you couldn't make it up" comes the news that the boss of the company responsible for 5000 of the country's 8000 speed cameras has been caught speeding at a shade under 103mph. Tom Riall, Chief Executive of Serco Government Division, was caught driving at 102.92mph on the A14 on the 4th of January.

Magistrates in Sudbury added 6 penalty points to his license which was enough to earn him a 6 month ban under the totting up system. His previous penalty points were also for speeding offences.





HaHAhaHAhaHAHahAhaha

Viva!

This press release from Viva! asserts
Britain could be fully vegetarian by later this century. The amount of meat being eaten in Britain is fast diminishing according to the latest Government agricultural figures.

Viva! – Europe’s largest campaigning animal group – believe if current trends continue, the UK will be fully vegetarian by later this century.

Figures from the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) show that last year over 13 million fewer farmed land animals were slaughtered in the UK than the year before. The group maintains that the trend is continuing downwards, with nearly 50 million fewer killed in 2008 than in 2005.

Viva! also argue that this fall is not because we are importing more. Figures show that consumption of poultry meat in the UK last year fell by a massive 67,000 tonnes (four percent); pig meat consumption fell by a staggering 74,000 tonnes (down by over five per cent).

Viva! campaigns manager, Justin Kerswell, says: “It is great that so many British consumers are turning their backs on meat and going veggie. ”
So I had a quick look at the defra statistics site they claim to get their stats from and, well, I don't understand. You see there's this excel sheet of trade in commodities by volume with EU countries, this one which deals with poultry meat from key partners and both show an increase in imports of meat. Maybe I'm missing something?

ID cards

Manchester is going to be the first city where people can volunteer to purchase a National ID card. For the sum of £30 (with additional costs for capturing their biometric data) residents of Manchester can pave the way for the national rollout of the scheme.

Just what has the government got against Mancunians? Less than a year ago they tried to force the city to have congestion charging similar to the London project, which the residents resoundingly rejected, and now this.

PR and New Media conference

One of the guest speakers is my favourite blogger Derek Draper, or is that ex blogger now? Either way, he's scheduled to give a talk at the conference:
9.55 Gain An Insight Into The Mindset And Activities Of Bloggers And Citizen Journalists And Get The Tone Right To Achieve Maximum Coverage For Your Brand

* Perfect your blogger outreach strategy: how can you find and engage with relevant independent and non-independent bloggers online and build relationships with the organisations publishing the blogs
* How do you best communicate with bloggers, what information do they need and in what format?
* How can PR professionals facilitate positive public opinion of their product and encourage citizen journalists to advocate their brand? Tap into the increasing numbers of citizen journalists and interact with their online activity: do they signal the death of the ‘traditional journalist’?

Derek Draper, Editor of labourlist.org and Psychotherapist with diy-therapy.com
Dolly giving advice on how to effectively communicate? That in itself would be worth the £529+vat ticket price alone.

Update: According to Iain Dale Dolly is an ex-blogger, he is no more etc

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Rules of Mountainbiking #358



Article #358 of the unwritten rules of mountainbiking clearly states



"On the associated perils of the winter months - mud, sub zero temperatures, darkness and precipitation.

For the rest of the year - nettles


I'd forgotten just how painful spring can be.

Wunch of Bankers

The queue of customers at the local branch of my bank this morning was longer than a normal Tuesday, but not unnaturally so for the day after a Bank Holiday. To try to reduce the length of the queue the bank has come up with the idea of having one of their employees standing asking everyone if they'd like to use the deposit point instead of waiting for a cashier. This morning, with only two of the possible four windows open, there were two separate occasions when I was asked this question.

Surely the simpler option would be for one (or both) of these employees to get behind the counter and open another till while there is a queue? Admittedly I don't have experience of the arcane mechanics of high street banking but it seems such an obvious solution that I wonder why the manager of the branch doesn't implement it.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

UK distribution of Swine Flu




Redditch? It couldn't be could it?

Spoiled Ballots


I picked up the Poll Cards that dropped through our letterbox for the Euro and Council elections that are being held next month. As I've never really paid much attention to the wording on them I had a quick skim through it. I'm aware that the wording used on the back of the Poll Card follows a preset format laid down in law but the section I've highlighted jumped out from the monochrome page. You see .. .. I regularly spoil my ballot. One might even go as far as using the word frequently or even the word habitually. I suppose that an explanation is in order?

I can't remember when precisely I decided that this was the correct course of action for me to take but the more I think about it, the more I discuss it with other people, the more I try to get my nearly eligible to vote employees engaged in the political process, the more it makes sense to me. I remember watching the results of a general election, switching from channel to channel to get the latest commentary and projections, and listening to the returning officers giving their standardised speeches for the results of their constituency. I remember thinking how odd it was the first time I registered that they also count the spoiled papers. I remember listening out from that point onwards to hear the number of spoiled papers as if it were more important than the winner or the turnout numbers.

I started to think about those spoiled papers, unassigned to a candidate, the pariahs of the election system. Were they genuine mistakes by people that couldn't follow the voting procedures? Did each one have a circled, capitalised, A on them? Why bother going to the trouble of attending the polling station just to spoil the ballot paper?

It took a few years but then realisation struck. Actively spoiling the ballot paper takes much more effort than passively ignoring the election process. Getting to the polling station and bothering to take the time to creatively register your disapproval of the candidates is more worthwhile than staying away and abusing the party activists who call on you to make sure you've voted (although there's no harm in doing both). Spoiled ballots are counted and recorded as part of the process and could, should a large enough number people accept the challenge, become an important part of our political landscape in the next 12 months.

The challenge is this: Before the general election persuade five people that you know who are not going to vote under any circumstances for one of the candidates to go and spoil their ballot rather than not vote at all. For this exercise I'm not interested in converting people to my choice of political party. If they are going to vote I temporarily don't care who it's for as they are at least engaged with the system enough to participate. The aim of the exercise is to send a message to the political class that says that we, the voters, are so fed up with the way you all behave that we're prepared to take the time to actively vote for none of you. Imagine the shock if more people chose to spoil their ballot than chose to vote for the winner of the seat.


Back to the image then and the line that jumped out. As I was traveling to work I started imagining how the conversation I might have with the presiding officer would go. A couple of possibilities sprang to mind immediately .. .. .. but I meant to put "You're all sponging twats" and .. .. .. sorry but I mis-spelled the word parasite. Can I have another ballot paper please? and I'm sorry but I've got the proportions of this cock wrong. Can I try again please? I doubt that any of those scenarios will produce a favourable reaction! I'm not sure what will happen on June 4th, but I know that I'll record and share it for posterity.

Turn the volume down

I found this bit of fun posted on the Gameov3r forum.

It tells me


Friday, May 1, 2009

Swine Flu



I'm not sure who made this, but I found it posted here.