postal

Steve Wik and Andrew Belkin gave an interview about their upcoming release, Postal III, to the website UGDB.com in which they both come across as entirely likeable and full of humour. Some great insights into their series of games can also be found in the interview but I think my favourite is this

SW: Interestingly, we had problems with the pissing in Postal II in America. It seems that some consider it a “sex act”. It’s ironic because the only reason we put it in the game was to provide a method of putting yourself out when you caught on fire! LOL! We were so naive…

Pissing on yourself is a sex act?

alcohol focus scotland (again)

Reported in the Mirror today under the headline Health campaigner calls for Scottish licensing reforms to be introduced across UK are the comments of Jack Law, chief executive of Alcohol Focus Scotland, when asked by BBCNews24 about the Licensing (Scotland) Act 2005.

Jack Law, chief executive of Alcohol Focus Scotland, called it an "important" move to improve health. When asked if it was something the rest of the UK should consider, Mr Law told BBC News 24: "Yes, I think it is."

So now the MSM is regurgitating propaganda spouted on the BBC by government funded organisations? We're fucked.

spot the difference

Many thanks to NotaSheep who pointed out the link to Climate Audit and the story of changing graphs. See if you can spot the difference between this


and this




Subtle, isn't it?

fuel poverty

From midnight tonight the duty imposed on a litre of petrol or diesel rises by 2p. Add on to that the VAT and the price at the pumps tomorrow will be 2.3p higher than it is today (assuming that the forecourts haven't adjusted their prices a day early). This 'green tax' will encourage us all to use less fuel and in doing so help us save the planet.

Apparently.

I don't want to get bogged down in the AGW argument but I do want to contrast the attitude to petrol with this.

How is it that rising fuel costs, reducing the ability of people to use fossil fuels, is fantastically good in one instance but terribly bad in another?

positive behaviour intervention course

From the BBC:

Courts get 'booze Asbo' powers
People in England and Wales who commit crimes or behave anti-socially while drunk could now face a Drinking Banning Order - or "booze Asbo".

Under powers coming into force on Monday, police and councils can seek an order on anyone aged 16 and over.

Magistrates can then ban them from pubs, bars, off-licences and certain areas for up to two years. Anyone who breaches the order faces a £2,500 fine.

Surely 16 year olds are already, because of the fact that they aren't legally allowed to buy alcohol for another 2 years, covered by existing legislation?

According to the TV news on the BBC these orders can be from 2 months to 2 years and can be reduced if the offender pays for and attends a Positive Behaviour Intervention Course. So at 16 you get a 2 year booze asbo, attend a PBIC, and have it reduced to only 12 months. Does that then make it legal for you be buying drinks in pubs and off licences at 17? Clearly not. I don't think this new initiative has been thought through correctly.

Our old friend Don Shenker, chief exec of fakecharity Alcohol Concern, is quoted as saying

"Policing of alcohol-related crime must go hand in hand with more robust measures to curb irresponsible and illegal sales and improved treatment pathways for dependent drinkers."

clearly unable to see that we already have plenty of legislation to combat the problem of antisocial behaviour. We should enforce the existing regulations rather than passing a raft of new, ever more authoritarian, legislation.

marc scaife (unconfirmed)

Cardiff Blogger has a great piece of audio purporting to be from prospective parliamentary candidate Marc Scaife as he leaves a subtle and tactful answerphone message to try to persuade a marching band member to reconsider pulling out of a tour of Libya in the wake of the release of the man convicted of the Lockerbie bombing.

If it's really Marc Scaife then it is an absolutely disgusting display of the ugly side of Labour.

If it's just a hoax then it is a disgusting attempt to smear Marc Scaife.

Either way I laughed at the message.

national cup cake week

unzipped!

I know that most men were focussed on Ms Holden's dress but I couldn't help noticing the expression of utter boredom on Mr Carr's face as he stares in any direction possible other than that of the potentially exposed cleavage .. .. ..


Original image here or here

not enought room

All morning the BBC has been reporting on the lack of university places. Over on their website they are using the headline Bright pupils 'miss out' on place. They had a video clip on News24 earlier of an interview with Lara who didn't manage to get into university this year and she is also quoted in the link above

"My grades were not awful. In previous years it would have been easier to get in to university through clearing but not this year.It has been just horrible because I couldn't get in anywhere. Everywhere said they were full or my grades were not good enough. I'm completely devastated and now I'm being forced to take a gap year."

Call me old fashioned Lara but if your grades aren't good enough then a gap year is the last thing you should be doing?

charmed

This tasteless, tacky, cash-in item can be purchased here

the committee urges

Published on August 7 2009 a report (pdf) from the UN Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women* makes, among others, the following recommendations to the Japanese government:

18. The Committee urges the State party to take immediate action to amend the Civil Code with a view to setting the minimum age for marriage at 18 for both women and men

26. The Committee recommends that the State party further strengthen its national machinery for the advancement of women

30. The Committee calls upon the State party to further enhance its efforts and to take proactive and sustained measures to eliminate stereotypical attitudes about the roles and responsibilities of women and men, through awareness-raising and educational campaigns. The Committee recommends that the State party encourage the mass media to promote cultural change with regard to the roles and tasks considered suitable for women and men, as required by article 5 of the Convention. The Committee requests the State party to enhance the education and in-service training of the teaching and counselling staff of all educational establishments and at all levels with regard to gender equality issues, and to speedily complete a revision of all educational textbooks and materials to eliminate gender stereotypes. The Committee urges the State party to take measures, including the criminalization of verbal violence, to ensure that Government officials do not make disparaging remarks that demean women and contribute to the patriarchal system which discriminates against women.

32. The Committee calls upon the State party to address violence against women as a violation of women’s human rights and to make full use of the Committee’s general recommendation No. 19 in its efforts to address all forms of violence against women. It urges the State party to intensify its awareness- raising efforts with regard to the unacceptability of all such violence, including domestic violence. It recommends that the State party strengthen its work on violence against women and speed up the issuance of protection orders and open a 24-hour free hot-line for counselling women victims of violence against women. It also recommends that the State party ensure that high-quality support services are provided to women, including immigrant women and women of vulnerable groups, in order for them to bring complaints, seek protection and redress, thus ensuring that they do not have to stay in violent or abusive relationships.

34. The Committee urges the State party to eliminate in its Penal Code the requirement of the victim’s complaint in order to prosecute crimes of sexual violence and to define sexual crimes as crimes involving violations of women’s rights to bodily security and integrity, to increase the penalty for rape and to include incest as a specific crime.

40. The Committee calls on the State party to take appropriate measures to suppressthe exploitation of prostitution of women, including by discouraging the demand for prostitution.

Read the whole pdf for the rest of the recommendations but some great stuff there from the UN Committee.. .. .. social engineering, revision of educational texts, criminalisation of the spoken word, prosecution without complaint .. .. .. one has to wonder how New Labour resisted complying for so long.










* Strangely I can't seem to find a similar body for elimination of discrimination against men

radio 6

At work we listen to a lot of radio (complete with our lovely 'improved' PRS logo sticker) and after the staff clubbed together a few Christmases ago we listen to it on our budget DAB radio receiver. I have mixed feelings about DAB. On the one hand there are a wider choice of stations and when the reception is good the sound is brilliant*, but on the other there is no fine tuning the reception and the signal often drops leaving you listening to nothing. I've found the digital only station Radio 6 suits my musical tastes and needs most of the time through the week. The wide variety of tracks that they play, some that I like, some that I don't, are complimented by some good DJs whose various patterns of banter help to ease the transition between the tunes.**


And then there is George Lamb.



What is wrong with him? He makes Chris Moyles seem both intelligent and sedate. I turned the radio on today and was confronted with this on his show

That's over a minute of inane samples on a station that is usually hosted by articulate, intelligent presenters***

It seems that I'm not alone in my dislike of George's show. If only I could withhold funding from the station as a protest over this dire presenter .. .. ..









*for a cheap receiver
** I was going to say 'records' and I want to believe that they still spin vinyl discs but in my heart I know it's probably just an mp3 player
*** Yes, OK, but the music that Craig Charles plays makes up for it .. ..

boozy brits on holiday

The Filthy Smoker delightfully fisks this BBC 'news' item.

You really should read it.

californian garage sale

Arnold Schwarzenegger is holding a garage sale this weekend to raise funds to try to reduce the £16 billion budget deficit in California. Items including (pdf) retired Highway Patrol motorcycles, laptops, an Xbox, shower heads, chairs, boxes, routers are all up for grabs (view the photoset here).


As you can see from the above image funding is being cut across the board .. .. ..

plastic pints

There's been a lot of people (myself included) who think that the Home Office should not be involving itself with the type of drinking vessels that we use in pubs. The idea that the traditional pint glass should be replaced with a plastic one seems to be yet another reason to drink at home (until Nanny outlaws glass everywhere).

But there is some small hope. Sort of. If the attention to detail and design that was put into the Australian plastic drinking vessel could be applied over here then maybe, just maybe, it won't be entirely bad.

Oh sod it! Who am I trying to kid?

population rising fast?

According to the BBC the UK population will be the largest in the EU by 2060, rising to 77 million inhabitants from the 61 million that live here now. Eurostat, the EU statistical office, predicts that the overall rise in the population of the EU over the same period will only be 11 million people having peaked in 2035 at 521 million, a rise of 26 million from its current level. There is also likely to be a change in the average age of the population.

The proportion of the population aged 65 or above in the UK is projected to reach 24.7% in 2060, from 16.1% in 2008.

If the projection is correct, 42.1% of the UK's population would be above retirement age - that proportion is currently 24.3%.

Hang on a second .. .. .. the retirement age is currently 60 for women and 65 for men although by 2020 it will be 65 irrespective of gender. How can 24.7% of the population be over 65 and also at the same time 42.1% be above retirement age? Unless I'm missing something at least one of those statements is, by default, utter bollocks.



EDIT: I've just re-read the BBC page .. .. .. it's only a year old .. .. whoops! The most recent article still has us on target for a population of over 70 million within 25 years (and presumably onwards to the 77 million previously estimated).

tattoo

Mrsff is very happy with the artist designed tattoo that she had added to her back while in San Francisco .. .. ..

gcse results

As the results have been announced today it only seems fair to question them as they have improved yet again. The BBC piece has this graphic covering the last 6 years but what I want to know is why a grade G is counted as a pass? Oh I know the "leave no-one behind" policy is to encourage everyone but as I said previously, I'm with Dame Kelly Holmes on her attitude to failure.

It's very important to learn how to lose.

If everyone gets a prize, where on earth is the incentive to push yourself to do better next time?

Failure is part of the process of personal development. Without experiencing failure at an early age people are unprepared for it later in life.

About 5 months ago I downloaded the GCSE papers from last year via the LA:BLOG and asked juniorff1 to sit the lower tier biology paper which she did, scoring 24/36. If a primary school child can score so highly on a paper for which she has had no direct teaching how does that present an adequate challenge for a 15 or 16 year old?

There are already plans in place to introduce another new grade for exam results, the A**, as described by the head of AQA Dr Mike Cresswell in 2007.

In response to a question about whether there would ever be A**s, Dr Cresswell said: "Were one to find oneself in a situation at some point where things had improved to such an extent that there was now a similar difficulty with the A*, the sensible thing to do would be to repeat the medicine."

Why not just make it more difficult to achieve the top grades instead by raising the required pass score rather than lowering it?

not stealing

From the metro today.

I was always under the impression that the police were supposed to be catching criminals and teaching them a lesson, not being criminals and teaching a lesson to the law abiding?

space crusade

For years my copy of this Games Workshop / MB Games collaboration has sat in the loft, waiting for the moment when it could be brought back out into the light. Today was that day. The sadly discontinued Games Workshop game Space Hulk on which it is based is orders of magnitude harder, and therefore orders of magnitude less child friendly, but Space Crusade was designed as the sci-fi entry point for beginners and non-gamers, a taster of the tabletop genre accessible to all (a bit like the Nintendo Wii is for video gamers), alongside other titles such as Hero Quest.

Surprisingly all of the juniorff's seemed to enjoy playing albeit at different levels of involvement and have requested that we drag Space Crusade out at least once per month. Oh the hardship!!! It won't be long before we're exploring the intricacies of The Awful Green Things From Outer Space or Shogun.

I can't wait!

federal verification office for youth endangering media

The Germans are having a real struggle at the moment with video game censorship. In March this year Tim Kretschmer went on a killing spree that left 16 dead, mainly females. Many of the predictable descriptions about him were used when the story hit the news - loner, quiet, played video games. Since then a debate has raged over whether or not video games should be subject to even tighter restrictions.

Already the German censorship controls are tighter than the rest of Europe. Instead of the PEGI rating system they use the USK ratings which are more restrictive (e.g. Mario Kart Wii has a PEGI rating of 3+ but a USK rating of 6+). And then there is the Bundesprüfstelle für jugendgefährdende Medien (BPjM) which has as one of it's responsibilities

the placing of media harmful to young people under legally-enforceable prohibition upon the application of ministers for youth and youth welfare offices, so that these media are accessible only to adults but not to children.

The head of the USK has complained that in many cases the BPjM is stepping in and blocking games before the USK is allowed to rate them.

The video games industry is getting fed up with this governmental interference. German developers Crytek have stated that they will relocate to another country if this level of censorship continues and Gerhard Florin, the head of EA Germany, has also spoken out and said that enough is enough.

edinburgh comedy festival low on comedy

The judges sat through 1000's of jokes, averaging 60 performances each, before drawing up a shortlist of the 27 best jokes of this year's festival. They then asked the viewers of digital TV channel Dave to vote on them and the winner was this:

"Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"

So there you have it. Award winning comedy from the Edinburgh festival. Don't all rush to book tickets for next year's event .. .. ..

ban them all

The BBC is carrying the story that some substances that are currently legal will soon become illegal under proposals from the Home Secretary, Postman Pat.

The Home Secretary Alan Johnson said he was acting on advice from the government's Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs. He said: "Legal highs are an emerging threat, particularly to young people, and we have a duty to educate them about the dangers."

Educate them? By banning the substances? Why not try actually educating them like you do in the school system? Oh!

Not so long ago the previous Home Secretary, Jackboot Smith, decided to ignore the advice of the ACMD and re-classified cannabis from a class C to a class B drug. Does this mean that the Home Office is finally listening to the advice of the panel it employs to determine the harmfulness of particular substances? Don't bet on it. Ecstasy will remain a class A drug, cannabis a class B drug (even though the ACMD advised a lower grading for both).

Martin Barnes, the chief exec of the the fakecharity that the BBC uses for quotes on the story, is having a field day calling for bans and also hints that there are a number of other substances that are currently legal that will be banned in the near future. He calls for greater education of the drugs' effects seemingly without realising that once the drug has been banned then no real research can take place into the effects.

how not to order fast food #3

The accepted situation is that if you ask for a meal in any kind of fast food establishment it will comprise of a drink, a portion of fried potato, and the burger/chicken/main food item of your choice. The three things together make up the entity that is a 'meal'.

Telling the employee that you wish to purchase a meal without the drink is akin to asking a lifeguard if you can swim in the pool without getting wet. It doesn't make any sense.

dodgy comparison

In yesterday's NOTW car section there was a comparison between 3 'eco' models, the new Toyota Prius, a BMW 116d and a Think City electrical car. Apologies for the poor photo but I can't find the article online. The stats used to compare the acceleration and fuel economy of the three cars are misleading at best. Why compare the 0-60 time for two cars with the 0-30 time of the car that doesn't actually achieve 60mph unless there is a strong tailwind and a steep slope? Also how does an electric car have a mpg figure?

a view from the back door

Damn noisy neighbours!!

boondoggle

As a refreshment after spending most of the day in the sunshine watching the airshow a pint of Ringwood Brewery Boondoggle slides down very easily indeed. Highly recommended.

anti cannabis advert

In the ad-break for School of Rock the 'Simon' anti-cannabis advert was shown. Is it just me or are the number of 'positive' outcomes double the number of 'negative' outcomes?


Isn't this supposed to be discouraging people from smoking dope?

for the insomniac blogger

"What? You haven’t heard of Party Rats! You’re kidding, right? They’re the best thing to happen to partying since the mirror ball. People of all ages are putting these colorful, plastic, rodent lights on their fingers and waving their hands in the air like they just don’t care. Each 1-3/4" long rat sends out a different colored beam of light, allowing you to create your own personal light show! Also great for the latest computer craze, night blogging! Five rats in each package. Batteries included."

Available for purchase here.

alcohol and sleep for idiots

This Observer has a link to a DoH press release about the effects of alcohol on sleeping. Public Health Minister, Gillian Merron, thinks we're all idiots. She said:

"Lots of people don't realise that drinking too much can disrupt your sleep, leave you dehydrated and unable to remember parts of your evening."

Is that because the government has so thoroughly destroyed the education system Gillian? Maybe the chav breeding classes don't get hangovers, an evolutionary advance? Or is it because, in this age of no personal responsibility, people no longer realise a link between cause and effect?

The press release continues:

Did you know?
Alcohol can be a headache in various ways, including its impact on sleep:
· Too many loo breaks… Alcohol stops the brain from releasing an important chemical, called vasopressin, which normally regulates the amount of water in your body. This dehydrates the body and sends you running to the loo all night.
· Dehydration… Booze encourages too much water to be flushed out of your body which will dehydrate you, putting your body under strain and contributing to a headache that can stop you sleeping.

So alcohol is a diuretic then? Why the need to dumb down the bulletin so much? And why no mention of the anti-diuretic effect of tobacco?

fake!

As I was waking up this morning a story on the BBC News channel caught my attention (and, it seems, not just my attention). The governments in France and Italy have decided to prosecute those people who have bought fake goods rather than those people that sell fake goods. I suppose it's easier to stop an unsuspecting tourist and fine them twice the value of the 'real' item than it is to catch those responsible for producing and importing them.

Intellectual property lawyer Simon Tracey said

"We all tend to debate the fake bag, we tend not to think about the products that can cause serious harm or kill like fake pharmaceuticals,"

Indeed Simon, indeed. Buying from a well known shopping chain does not guarantee that your purchase is not a counterfeit. What of the people who are caught out by that?

afghan elections

From the BBC:

A leading group of election observers say there was widespread voting fraud and intimidation during Thursday's presidential election in Afghanitan.

Stuffed ballot boxes, illiterate voters being told who to vote for and biased officials were cited by Afghanistan's Free and Fair Election Foundation.

However EU monitors said that despite widespread intimidation and violence, the vote was generally good and fair.

I'm already excited about the possibility of a generally good and fair general election in the UK.

quote of the day

High maintenance girl:

"I see myself as a provider of information, not a gossip"

man jailed for eating mints

WFTV is reporting the story of Donald May, arrested by Kissimmee Police Department after an officer saw him with a mint in his mouth. The officer suspected it was drugs. THREE MONTHS LATER the results of the tests on the substance came back negative and he was released, but had lost his house and job in the meantime.

how long does it take to cancel a direct debit?

One of my staff went to the local branch of Shatwest yesterday to cancel a direct debit instruction after a conversation with the customer service department of his mobile phone provider.

"We can do that for you sir" they said "but it will take three days to process so if any payments are due before then they may still come out of your account."

Three days? Three days? WTF? When mrsff cancelled the payments for the crappy phone insurance from T-Mobile, lying twats that they are, she walked into her bank and they were cancelled there and then so why does it take Shatwest 3 days?

There's no mention of such a timeframe in the t&c's for their current account(pdf). In fact the latest update(pdf) to the t&c's even contains an alteration to the relevant section (5.3.1) but still no time specified other than "before we are committed to pay it".

So either 1) Shatwest has conditions on the account that aren't listed in the t&c's of the account, 2) Shatwest staff at that branch are truly shit and poorly trained, or 3) I'm being totally unreasonable.

Direct debit cancellation. How long does your bank take?

enicycle

I want one!

DSi flipnote + Buckle =

If you own a DSi there is a new, free, download from the DSi store that allows you to create your own simple animations.One of the members of the Gameov3r forum (with far far too much time on his hands) made this public information film

caster semenya

Now I'm a fairly simple soul .. .. .. so the controversy surrounding the athlete Caster Semenya is more than a little confusing to me. There has been a suggestion made that Women's 800m World Champion is actually a man and she has been told to submit to a 'gender verification' test.

Apparently stripping naked isn't enough proof of her status as a female. According to the Telegraph

Establishing gender is far more complicated. There are numerous 'intersex' conditions, caused mainly by chromosomal variations, which do not affect external genital appearance. A person could have a male genetic make-up yet still be physiologically female.

So mrsff, mother of our 3 children, could actually be a man? EeeeekK!

paid in full

Correspondent Alva Wood writes in "The View in Lake County" (a local Canadian newspaper) about the tale of Hector Wentz, a self-employed financial consultant and his experience with the Canada Revenue Agency.

Last year he sent a quarterly GST (VAT) payment off and the GST office sent him back an invoice that said he still owed them $0.00 Hector thought it was an acknowledgement that his calculations were correct so filed it and carried on. Then he got a second letter.

"Dear Sir, We wish to inform you that your account is still in arrears in the amount of $0.00. This is your second notice. Please send payment immediately to clear up your negative balance owing."

Hector called the signatory of the letter and, after wading through menus and being on hold for a long time, finally reached a human voice, only to be told that the employee that wrote the letter had left the department and the department that he got through to couldn't help him.

The next notice told him that if he did not pay immediately then the debt would be turned over to a debt collection agency. The idea of two gorrilas in suits knocking at his door to collect $0.00 was amusing until he read the next paragraph

"In view of this protracted delay in the settlement of this account the Agency will have no option but to forward a non-favourable credit report to financial institutions ..."

Hector, being a financial advisor, could not afford to have his credit rating damaged so he went to see the local solicitor, Manfred Czarnecki. Manfred explains that the Agency will never admit they were wrong and Hector will have a warning note on his account for all time unless he does what they want.

"How can I pay them?" Hector demands. "There's nothing to pay!"

"Then pay it," says Manfred

Hector writes a cheque for zero dollars and zero cents and posts it along with one of the invoices. A few weeks later while checking his bank balance he sees that the cheque has been deposited by the payee with the amount of $0.00 deducted from his account. The next week a letter appears from the GST Agency thanking him for his payment and stating that his account is now fully up to date.



I have no idea whether this story, published on Thursday 23rd July, is true or not but it made me laugh!

send in the marines

With the voting about to begin in Afghanistan I'm reminded of this old Tom Lehrer tune .. .. ..

you stink

Thorpe Park has employed new 'stink wardens' to enforce a new policy of customers keeping their arms down while riding the attractions. A warning for the first 'offence' of raising your arms, escorted from the park for a repeat offence.

Apparently next week Thorpe Park are recruiting 'smile wardens' and 'anti-scream enforcers'.

cigarette sales rising

Sue Carroll, in her column in the print edition of the Mirror (can't find it online hence the blurry photo) says that sales of cigarettes have risen by 35.7% in the recession. What she fails to do is suggest why this might be the case.

My thought is this.. .. ..

For about 10 years I have regularly driven, via ferry or tunnel, to Belgium to buy my fags. With the exchange rate working in my favour I've been able to purchase them for around £1 to £2.50 cheaper per packet than in England. I used to save around £1000 per trip purely on the reduced cost of tobacco. With the collapse of sterling, the rise in the cost of fuel and the fire in the Chunnel (that made the cost of crossing the Channel skyrocket) it has not been economically viable. How many other smokers have thought the same thing?

mobile phone spyware

The BBC has a story about undetectable spyware trials wrapped up in a story about friendship studies.

The data, published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed a marked contrast with answers reported by the users themselves.

"We gave out a set of phones that were installed with a piece of 'uber-spyware'," said the study's lead author Nathan Eagle, now at the Santa Fe Institute.

"It's invisible to the user but logs everything: communication, users' locations, people's proximity by doing continuous Bluetooth scans."

Still want to upgrade your handset?

drug driving

The government is using this video to launch a new campaign* aimed at people who drive while under the influence of drugs. According to the DfT press release

One in five drivers killed in road accidents may have an impairing drug in their system.

but of course that is typical spin and abuse of statistics. Alcohol is an impairing drug. Most cough medicines have a small alcohol in them. If I swallow a spoonful of the medicine then go for a drive I am driving with an impairing drug in my system. If I were to have an accident do I then become one of the one in five?

Over at Mark Wadsworth's the suggestion is to balance your eyes by using cannabis and opiates together, although as leg-iron points out, how do the police know the size of your pupils in their natural state? JuliaM takes a more pragmatic approach and is thinking of investing in contact lens manufacturers. I'm just amazed that a police officer can distinguish the state of your pupils with closing speeds of around 60mph!




* I accessed the campaign site through the DfT main site but then could not find a link back .. .. .. clicking 'home' takes you to the campaign front page not the DfT main page .. .. going round and round in circles with a bloodshot eye staring at me .. .. .. I'm just thankful I wasn't on drugs when I looked at it or I could be having paranoid delusional nightmares right now.. .. ..

afghan elections

An investigation by the BBC has found evidence of fraud and corruption in Afghanistan's presidential election.Thousands of voting cards have been offered for sale and thousands of dollars offered in bribes to buy votes.

An Afghan working for the BBC went undercover in the capital Kabul to investigate reports that voting cards were being sold. He was offered 1,000 cards, each costing around £6 ($10). Other vendors made similar offers.

Multiple voting cards are reported to have been issued to some individuals, while government workers have actively and illegally campaigned for candidates, says our correspondent.

An influential tribal leader in the north of the country said he had been offered thousands of pounds by campaign teams in exchange for delivering large blocks of votes.

Vote rigging and dodgy election practices could never happen in the UK could they?

Oh!

Oh dear!

Oh my!

It's getting better though? This kind of ungentlemanly behaviour is just an aberration, in decline,an isolated incident?

No.

ban sickipedia

What has 3000 legs but no pubic hair? The facebook group that wants to ban sickipedia.


Bunch of cunts.


Why is it that if something offends you you feel the need to draw attention to it by calling for it to be banned? Could you not work out from the name of the site what it would contain? Is that what 12 years of Nanny State has made you?


Grow up, get a life, fuck off.

age discrimination

I saw this sign and thought of the Equality Bill that is being championed by Ms Harman. So I checked the outline from the Governments Equalities Office (pdf).

From page 16:

We banned age discrimination in the workplace in 2006 but we need to go further to close the remaining gap in our discrimination law.There is a significant amount of evidence that some older people are being discriminated against by those providing goods, services and public functions including health and social care, and some financial services such as travel insurance. Such treatment is not currently against the law.

The Equality Bill will make it unlawful to discriminate against someone aged 18 or over because of age when providing services or carrying out public functions.


What the ban will not mean:
It will not affect products or services for older people where age-based treatment is justified or beneficial, for example, priority flu vaccinations for over-65s.The law will only stop age discrimination where it has negative or harmful consequences.

Don't you see? If you offer preferential services to one group based on age then that is detrimental to the group that falls outside of that age boundary? All discrimination is negative to someone however Ms Harman tries to spin it.

By offering a preferential rate of interest purely based on age criteria the Alliance and Leicester are guilty of discriminating against everyone younger than that.

noisy neighbours

At times fun to watch though as they practice their acrobatic skills.

not a fakecharity .. .. ..

.. .. .. unfortunately.


In my business premises we have one wall that we've turned over to advertising. We don't charge for using the space and we don't mind what people advertise apart from direct competitors. So when a lady representing the St Peter & St James Hospice (registered number 1056114) came in, presented a poster to High Maintenance Girl, said "can you put this up thanks" and turned to leave, HMG asked if she had any blu-tack with which to attach the poster. "You put it up last year" spat the charity representative as she bustled out.

No doubt we did madam. In exactly the same bin that this years poster was thrown. The same bin that next years poster will go into should you again fail to bring some method for attaching your poster to our wall. We do not discriminate, all promoters who fail to bring the correct equipment for promoting their event are treated with the same level of contempt.

great parking

If you can't find anywhere legal to park just leave your car on a pedestrian crossing.

photoshop tip #3

This photo is from the centre pages of today's Sun

When adding reflective elements to a new image it's always best to make sure that the reflection is not going to be at odds with the new image. I'm no expert at identifying football grounds from reflected images but 2 looks suspiciously like a section of stadium roof to me as the inside of the top section of the Premiership Trophy is shiny and golden in colour.

Scale is also important.

a girl who cried rape

Sarah-Jane Hilliard

night of the fweeebs

Not to be confused with fweebs

that employment tribunal payout in full

The BBC are reporting the outcome of an employment tribunal hearing between the clothing retailer Abercrombie and Fitch vs Miss Riam Dean, an ex-employee. The tribunal found in favour of Miss Dean with her claim of unlawful harassment for a reason relating to her disability.

They awarded compensation as follows:

Basic compensation: £136

Loss of earnings: £1,077

Hurt feelings: £6,800


85% of the payout was for hurt feelings. WTF? When I become Lord High Chancellor, Defender of the Sacred realm, Protector of Albion, Vizier to Her (or His) Majesty, First Minister of England and Guardian of the Chocolate Bars one of my first edicts will be to stop such stupid payouts. How hurt feelings be valued at more than 6 times the value of loss of earnings is beyond my comprehension.

california on fire

You may recall the the rest of the familyff is holidaying while I am stuck in the UK. Today they head South to San Francisco to see another friend who has emigrated West.

What happened a few hours before they were due to catch the flight? California burst into flames. The only possible conclusion is that mrsff is damn hot!*







*Honestly that isn't just 4 weeks of abstinence talking**
** Looking back at my recent posts maybe there is a connection .. .. ..

qualification in using the bus

I kid you not. Todays Telegraph has the tale of Bobby McHale who is the bemused recipient of an AQA Board Using Public Transport (Unit 1) certificate. To pass this difficult test students must be able to demonstrate the ability to:

1. Walk to the local bus stop.

2. Stand or sit at the bus stop and wait for the arrival of a public bus.

3. Enter the bus in a calm and safe manner.

4. Be directed to a downstairs seat by a member of staff

5. Sit on the bus and observe through the windows.

6. Wait until the bus has stopped, stand on request and exit the bus.

Whatever next? A qualification for sleeping correctly?



A tip of the cat to Obnoxio

extra large condoms

This article in the Telegraph was pointed out by JuliaM and two thoughts spring to mind.

Firstly: An adult, usually male, can fit a 'normal sized' condom over their head and then inflate it to approximately three feet in length for comedic effect. I'd hate to be dating the ex-girlfriend of the man who found that contraceptive to be too small .. .. ..


Secondly: It is alleged that during the second world war the Russians needed condoms for their troops as rubber was in short supply. Churchill agreed to help and told the manufacturer to produce them from the largest mould they had but to mark every packet in Cyrillic as medium. I've also heard a similar story but that the American ambassador was requesting ridiculously large condoms for his troops stationed in the UK.

brick

size matters

retribution

unsolicited text messages

The latest batch of unsolicited texts that I've been receiving are from, I think, a 'no win no fee' insurance claim company:



As my phone is unregistered and, as far as I'm aware, can't be traced directly to me (until now of course where the sender of this text message can check their records and narrow it down from the recipient list), how would they know if I've had an accident? I wonder how many people actually respond to this type of marketing and if it's cost effective?

sex education primer

draconian laws supported?

If, like me, you caught the newspaper review on The Andrew Marr Show(iPlayer link, about 19 mins in) this morning you will have seen a NOTW article about how Oldham has cleaned up it's town centre of binge drinkers.

Three nightclubs were shut down. Other watering holes were forced to introduce draconian restrictions including:

INTRODUCING orderly Post Office-style bar queues; MAKING venues pay for police during promotions; BANNING customers ordering more than two drinks per bar visit; ENDING table service for drinks; and GIVING advance notice to council and police of drinks promotions.

The clampdown has had a huge impact over the last year and could now be introduced in other towns.

Local councillor Mark Alcock told the News of the World: "Our measures may have seemed extreme but the fact is that they have worked. There's less crime and Oldham is now an enjoyable place to go out."

The town's booze problems date back years. One bar - the Tokyo Club - was criticised for offering customers all they could drink for £5.99 leading to bloody violence, vomiting and unconscious teenagers.

The Brownz Bar was shut down after a mass brawl left three men in hospital.

Oldham East Labour MP Phil Woolas said at the time: "The town centre at the weekend is like the Wild West. This is the last chance saloon."

A petition was signed by 3,500 local people calling for irresponsible drinks promotions to be banned. Oldham Council reviewed the licences of all 22 town centre pubs, bars and nightclubs. So far, 13 have accepted new restrictions and eight are in talks.

So this series of draconian measures had massive support? 3,500 people were calling for this change weren't they?

Well actually no they weren't. The petition mentioned was organised by Our Life and handed to Phil Woolas on the 4th of August 2009, 5 days before the article was published in the NOTW and the 'clampdown' has been ongoing for a year. Selective journalism in action there I think.

But who are Our Life? Their press release states

Our Life has been established as a social enterprise to offer creative ways for the NHS, local government, the public, business and voluntary organisations to work in partnership to make sure that the North West becomes one of the healthiest regions in the country.

and the links page of their site contains mainly links to government departments and fakecharities. Their site is hosted by the NWPHO who are "core funded by the NHS". I'll let you make up your own mind.

national maximum wage rears its ugly head again

.. .. .. this time in Paul Routledge's column of the Daily Mirror.

Well, in a fairly long life I’ve come to the conclusion that the more radical the idea, the wiser it may be. Why shouldn’t there be a legal limit on the greed of so-called entrepreneurs who profit mightily from the rest of us?

Because that would remove the incentive for them to start businesses, expand them and employ people?

It wouldn’t be easy to legislate against the monstrous avarice of bankers and their ilk. But that’s no reason for not trying. They pretend other countries will seduce them away with big pay and bonuses. This is largely a fallacy, but, hey, OK. Let them go, and destroy somebody else’s economy if they don’t want to live decently here.

And how would a Labour government raise tax revenue then? If all of the wealthy leave, who will you tax to support the cost of the welfare state? Bankers are not the only high earners. A maximum wage cap would encourage all of the brightest talents in every field to leave. Actors, scientists, doctors, sportspeople, IT specialists .. .. they'd all go. Not to mention the number of companies that would register in other European countries.

Nobody – but nobody – not the Queen, not the so-called captains of industry, not the bosses of the BBC or any other public body, not the brain-free footballers of the Premier League, not the so-called celebrities on our TV screens and most emphatically not the pigswill brigade who run the privatised utilities, deserves more than the Prime Minister’s salary of £195,000 a year.

Not even Sir Alan? All the work that he has done, the hours he's put in, the risks he took; after all that Lord Sugar should not reap the rewards of his success? Funny really because looking back to last time this idea was put forward I wondered what Sir Alan would do and now he's an advisor to the government.

a watch for gordon?

The Cyclops

disturbing

I mean seriously WTF?

another picture of that unpublicised community service

wipe down pc

This new tablet PC has been designed for medical environments. It is easily cleanable to prevent the build up of germs.. .. indeed it can be wiped down with a damp cloth.

Who else would be tempted to buy such a thing?

;)

50 billion pounds sir?

The Bank of England is to extend quantative easing by £50 billion pounds the BBC reports today, less than one month since the MPC decided not to utilise the remaining £25 billion set aside by The Badger. Has the economic position worsened by that much that the bank has to go over Mr Darling's forecast so dramatically?

skynet is coming

You were warned but you still did this.

plumbing

After draining down the central heating system the plumber and I discovered that this leaking joint is actually on the mains and not the central heating. The bastardisation of all of the utilities in my house, due to two extensions being added to the original building, have left even the most professional tradesmen confused.

Now that we have determined the type of pipework that he's going to be fixing work carries on apace .. .. ..

the mind boggles

Taken from the Core77 design site

Reinier de Jong's solid beechwood KOPS chair looks like the seat is made in the same way as those end-grain butcher blocks--but there's a twist, or should we say, a stretch: the cubes for the seating surface are actually bound together internally with elastic rope, so it flexes to fit your fanny.

today i will be mainly sanding and varnishing the floor

I may not have mentioned that my family is on holiday at the moment? I did? Oh well .. .. .. for those of you who may have missed it they are in Kelowna, Canada leaving me an ideal opportunity to clear out the lounge, strip and varnish the floors. I did this about 7 years ago soon after we moved into the house and had to throw out the ant infested carpet so it shouldn't be too hard right? Well .. .. .. ..

After a brief chat with mrsff early this morning (midnight for her) I went and picked up the sanding machines and some varnish ready for my day. I remember the last time I did this the floorboards had bowed slightly, giving a gentle U-shape on each one that needed extra sanding off to be able to clean the centre of each board, and was surprised to find that the same thing had happened again albeit to a lesser degree. No nice, smooth, along the line of the floorboard action for me today then .. .. .. a much more intensive and aggressive diagonal session first to cut back the edges before moving on to the gentler action.


Two coats of coloured varnish went on the nearly clean boards followed by a third clear coat for an extra layer of protection. Now all I need is for it to dry so that I can move the sofas back and get to the front door.

vote top gear!

You know it will upset them if it wins. Here's something to keep you amused in the meantime .. .. ..






cat tip on both counts to Mr Clown

sex: a lunchtime conversation

Now I know that it might seem an unusual conversation to have with another man at lunchtime but converse we did. The topic arose (our conversations do have a habit of meandering down many paths) as we were discussing the relative lack of inhibitions that today's teenagers have in comparison to when we were ourselves that age and it threw up some interesting points that are worthy of sharing. This was itself sparked by a comment thread on a post elsewhere .. .. ..

1. (Trying to stay focussed) we both remember clearly the dramatic AIDS awareness advert of 1987 but when I brought up the way that the most recent STD awareness video almost glamourised the topic my sparring partner looked perplexed as he couldn't recall seeing it. Whether that's because it wasn't relevant to him in his advancing years (!) or whether that's because the message gets lost in the advert we couldn't decide. The contrast between how the safe sex message is delivered in both of those videos is striking. I recall comedians making fun of the tombstone image but I don't recall people asking where they could get one.

2.We also touched on (can I safely use that term for this subject matter?) how Christianity views sexual relationships. His view is that the church encourages married couples to explore and grow their sexuality together. Referencing 1984 he said the 'mrs smith' attitude to sex is not one that the church encourages. I don't disagree with that assessment but I do find it at odds with the puritanical public pronouncements from the church regarding sexual activity.

3.Sex education in schools was also skimmed across in as much as it seems that most of the modern teaching is geared to the mechanics, not the emotions, of the act. Not that a room full of teenagers wants to listen to a stuffy old fuddyduddy talk about love, romance and commitment of course so the line is most definitely a difficult one to tread. I'm not sure that I want the juniorff's being encouraged to rut like rabbits during a lesson but at the same time I would like them to have a basic understanding of the mechanics without having to demonstrate for them myself .. .. .. I'm also sure that the vast porno collection that inhabits most of the new east wing extension of ff towers will either scare them or raise their expectations way too high at an early age.

The problem with promiscuity without responsibility is that STDs are on the rise. From 1998 to 2007 there was a 63% rise in diagnoses of new carriers of these diseases and all of the indications are that they are more prevalent in the younger sections of the population. This statistic might have always been true but the rapid rise in incidence of STDs is worrying for parents who worry about that kind of thing.

Are there solutions? Well .. .. .. no, none that I can propose because it doesn't affect me. This generation has to find it's own way, make it's own mistakes, and then deal with the consequences that follow from those actions. Obviously I hope that I can guide the juniorffs enough so that they can avoid the majority of the pain and misery of STDs as well as the heartache that relationships invariably bring at that age .. .. .. ..

chicken salad

My lunch today was one of my favourite recipes .. ..

Ingredients


450g skinless chicken breast cut into slices
1 red pepper
1 red onion
fresh mint, basil and coriander leaves
one clove garlic
handful of salad leaves
vegetable oil
curry powder
light muscavado sugar
castor sugar
dark soy sauce
balsamic vinegar
sweet chilli sauce
rice noodles

Marinading the chicken
Take the sliced chicken and place in a freezer bag. Add 1tbsp each of the soy sauce, muscavado sugar and the chilli sauce, 2 tbsp vegetable oil and shredded fresh basil, and 1 tsp of the curry powder. Finely chop the garlic and add that too then seal the bag and mix before placing in a fridge for at least 15 minutes.


Preparing the salad
Wash the salad leaves and drain, adding in a good handful of both mint and coriander leaves and mixing. Next finely slice the onion and core, deseed and finely slice the red pepper before adding to a large bowl. Mix in the drained salad leaves, cover with clingfilm and place in a fridge.

Preparing the salad dressing
Pour 1tsp caster sugar, 4 tbsp vegetable oil, 1tbsp sweet chilli sauce, 1tbsp dark soy sauce and 1tbsp balsamic vinegar into a container and mix vigourously.

Cooking the chicken
Line a grill pan with foil while you heat the grill. Place the chicken strips onto the foil and grill on one side for 4 - 5 minutes. Turn them over and use any remaining marinade to coat the other side before cooking for another 4 - 5 minutes. Turn off the grill, remove the grill pan and cover with a second sheet of foil for a further 5 minutes.

While the chicken is cooking prepare the rice noodles as per the instructions on the packet.

Serving
Take the salad bowl out of the fridge and remove the clingfilm. Add the noodles and chicken, mix and drizzle over some of the salad dressing. Eat immediately!

kelowna on fire

Mrsff and the juniorffs are currently vacationing with friends in Canada, specifically the British Columbian city of Kelowna. The 8 hour time difference makes conversations quite tricky even with the almost brilliant, and free to use, Skype service so we are sharing information via email and photos via Flickr*. She is a little concerned at the moment as the forests around the city have, it seems, spontaneously combusted and a huge fire is raging covering, according to some estimates, 50 acres and it's only 6km away from our friend's timber built (as all houses in the area are) house. Ash from the fire is falling like rain at times on their back garden, depending on the wind direction, and the already hot conditions** are not helping the situation.





*Thinking back to when I was a child this kind of (almost) free connectivity was unheard of so I'm grateful for the wonder of the internet.
** 39˚C during the summer days .. .. .. imagine the warnings that would be issued if the UK had that kind of temperature!

more on made up jobs

Not so long ago I happened to catch Yvette Cooper pushing the idea of councils making up jobs for young people. Listen again to what she said .. .. ..

"what we want to do is make sure there's a job guarantee for young people so that none of them can be out of work for more than a year .. .. we can actually provide people with jobs .. .. but for young people more generally, for those under 25, from next year - from January - anyone who's been out of work for more than a year we'll guarantee them either a job or some work based training or a proper offer so that you never get again that sense of people just being lost for years."

She goes on to talk about the £1 billion pound fund for creating these made up jobs in councils and charities.

Fast forward to yesterday's story about payments for gap year students on the BBC and this little tacked on bit of information.

In addition, Work and Pensions Secretary Yvette Cooper invited businesses, councils and charities to bid for a share of £1bn to create 47,000 jobs for young unemployed people.This will offer employment for six months, paid at the minimum wage.

6 months at minimum wage? Hardly a proper offer is it? And the maths just do not add up. Currently the NMW stands at £5.73 per hour but it will rise yet again in October. As MW mentions the benefit trap is equivalent to roughly £11,960 per year, and a 40 hour week at minimum wage equates to roughly £11,920 per year (except employment is taxed). How many people, when faced with the choice of going out to work for 40 hours per week for a drop in income would actually want to do that?

Assuming that all of the places are filled then £11,920 /2 x 47000 = £280,120,000, so where will the rest of the money go to?

6 months from January is June 2010 which coincides with the last date that a general election can be held. If all 47,000 places are filled then the employment will end just after a new government is formed. Am I the only one that smells the stench of political point scoring?

UPDATED: Thanks to JohnB who spotted my maths error .. .. ..

sex makes you fat

all men are rapists

.. .. according to Margaret at AROOO

Heterosexually engaged women gain certain socially sanctioned privileges just by the fact of their heterosexual engagement. It doesn’t matter whether a woman liked it or didn’t like it – any more than it matters that certain white people don’t *like* being white. It doesn’t matter whether a woman situates her experiences closer to one end of the rape spectrum than the other.

cat tip to NickM

pride campsite

One of the smaller signs that triggered the earlier post.

poverty

The BBC News Magazine has a piece today by Michael Blastland on poverty which highlights the ridiculousness of the calculations for determining poverty levels.

There's a little flash toy to play with to show the way that poverty is calculated which gives both of these results


By taking one person from £0 income to £50,000 in the second example 5 people have plunged into abject poverty by not changing their circumstances at all. Which nicely highlights the futility of the measure.