This will of course be the first time that the rest of the school has the opportunity to vote on his performance as councillor after the previous incumbent of the post abdicated in his favour. At the time rumours of more than one fraught conversation in the canteen circulated the school but as no formal complaints came from the dinner ladies the decision was allowed to stand.
In a desperate move he has appointed the younger sister of one of the upper sixth boys to be the face of his campaign. While many have argued that her recent detention might her appointment untenable his campaign manager has suggested otherwise. "Everyone likes a strong female" he said in a quote for the school newsletter "which is good news for our election campaign!"
The councillor has had quite a difficult year to contend with. The school faced financial difficulties after our twin academy in America went into fiscal meltdown, then talks over which type of insulation to use in the old building broke down, and finally the minor spat with other members of the chess team have all taken their toll.
Not that his personal life has run smoothly either. The worsening relations with his alcoholic aunt Eda have been a source of concern for us all. It's in everyone's best interest that her 'holiday' by the Cuban coast is forgotten quickly.
On to the manifesto then. The central pledges in his campaign are
- Petty cash overspending will be reduced by 50% by the end of the academic year
- The entire range stocked in the tuck shop will be redesigned to reflect the consensus for healthier diets
- 'personal tuition' for any female students falling behind in biology from Bruiser Prescott
- free computers for all students
- hall monitors to be granted powers to administer on the spot chinese burns to reduce congestion
- prefects to be given power to perform homework compliance searches
- ring-fencing Matron's funding
Next week: In depth with another candidate
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