army

Fed up with being seen as aggressive and destructive the army is starting a campaign to update it's image. The first stage is to create a Not Blowing The Shit Out Of Things regiment based in Sutherland. The NBTSOOT regiment will initially be formed by taking existing soldiers who excel at not blowing the shit out of things from other areas of the army but an advertising campaign has been launched to ensure it reaches full strength as quickly as possible.

"Once the unit is properly established" said an MoD spokesperson "it will be tasked with training soldiers from many other nations in the skills of not blowing the shit out of things. We look forward to working very closely with our American allies in this area."

"Our armed forces are the envy of the world" he continued "and we expect that we will quickly become the leading exponents of this exciting new area of expertise. We hope that the NBTSOOT regiment will enhance the public's perception of the army and boost the morale of the troops."