surplus

Can you all hear me? Then I'll start.

It seems that some of you are not engaging in the profligate spending that we expect of you. Figures that we have collected show that up to 7,000 of you are squirrelling away something for a rainy day.

We the government have to ensure that you, the headteachers, are following the policy decisions that we have made. We will not allow you to derail our plans for this country by disregarding your instructions and thinking for yourselves.

Quite frankly I'm surprised that any of you have the balls to disobey a direct order.

To clear up any confusion or misunderstanding let me set out once again the policy for education spending. We give you money and you spend it all. You do not, under any circumstances, spend less than we allocate to you. If you have been underspending we will confiscate your excess and redistribute it to headteachers who have proven they have their pupils interests at heart. There will be no excess to fall back on by the time of the general election.

Have I fucking made myself clear? Good. Now piss off and get spending.