tagging

New EU regulations (Regulation (EC) 21/2004) come into force today meaning all newborns will have to be electronically tagged. However thanks to skilled negotiating by the British representation concessions have been secured for the UK.

Under the new regulations that came into force today all newborns will need to be fitted with an electronic tag for easy identification. The measures are being brought in to make the monitoring and tracking of each individual much easier.

"The Directive states that all newborns must be tagged from today but we have, through dogged determination, made a real difference to Britain." said the Minister responsible for implementing the tagging. "We have successfully negotiated concessions for the UK that will mean not all newborns need to be tagged."

"A new government department, the Logging And Marking Bureau, will receive central funding of £200 million per year to ensure that all newborns are tagged according to the EU regulation but of course making sure that our skilfully negotiated concessions are also applied correctly."

When questioned about which newborns were to be exempt from the regulation the minister refused to answer allegations that only senior party apparatchiks, ministers and a handful of supportive celebrities were covered by the concessions. He also refused to comment on the suggestion that the directive had been initiated in the UK.