juries

The Ministry of Justice is once again considering implementing plans to do away with the opportunity for a trial by jury after groundbreaking research finds juries are fair and effective. Senior Ministry figures have been recalled from their two week half term break to discuss the implications of the study.

"This study confirms what we'd feared for a long time" said a MoJ spokesperson "that juries are not vindictive, petty, inefficient, lynch mobs. If they can't conform to our behaviour models then clearly something must be done immediately."

"If they continue to reject our efforts to encourage hate-mob mentality then I'm afraid they'll just have to go. We can't allow reasoned thoughtful behaviour to interfere with the process of justice."