labelling

Senior ministers are angry that a voluntary code of practice to include all manner of nannying information on alcohol products is being largely ignored by the brewing industry. To ensure that more of the brewers voluntarily add the information to their packaging the ministers are planning to make the code mandatory.

"Look" said a senior minister to the assorted press this morning. "There seems to be some confusion over the word voluntary. The Government Dictionary (1997-2010 edition) defines voluntary as 'an action that you are not compelled to make but you bloody well will anyway if you know what's good for you'. How difficult is that to understand?"

"As so many in the industry have refused to volunteer we are left with no option but to make the code of practice mandatory and impose severe penalties on those who continue to defy our wishes. This government has always been fully committed to freedom of choice. You can choose to do what you're told or be heavily punished, it's entirely up to you."