lottery

An exciting development in the world of sentencing of youth offenders was unveiled earlier today amid a wave of approval from judges and ministers. The rapidly increasing number of newly created illegal acts has put immense pressure on the justice system which is no longer processing suspects quickly enough.

To help prevent a backlog of cases the new system does away with the traditional trial, with its excessive numbers of judges, lawyers and witnesses and replaces it with a lottery. Each offender has to attend the sentencing room at 8pm on a Saturday evening armed with a single National Lottery ticket. Match 4 or more numbers and all charges will be dropped and the accused will walk free. Less than 4 matched will be satisfactory proof of guilt for conviction, no matched numbers and the maximum penalties for the charges will be applied.

"We believe that this new simplified system of finding people guilty" said a spokesperson for the Ministry of Justice "has a number of really great features. Primarily it is a massively efficient way to process the growing number of criminals through the court system but also, secondly, the increased number of lottery tickets purchased will add to tax revenue and also to the funding of a number of charitable organisations."


Initially being trialled in Liverpool and Manchester the new format will eventually be rolled out to courts across the whole country.