windows

Microsoft have announced that, due to rationalisation of their working practices, the speed at which they can fix security issues in their operating systems has improved dramatically. The latest enhancements to their operation have resulted in a massive reduction in the time it takes to release patches.

"I've always been under pressure to keep up with the marketing departments and their need to generate new customers" said Nick Wittin, the security department for the company, "and also from the vast number of senior security executives that we employ for media presentations. Each of them thinks their request is the most important thing in the world so I was forever being pulled off one project to begin another."

"I don't know who designed this new working arrangement but it's improved productivity no end" he continued. "I was able to get some work finished that I'd originally begun 17 years ago. At this rate of issue resolution I might be up to date by the end of next year. Whoever thought that of ripping all of the phones out of their sockets is a bloody genius."