boris and dave

For a long time there has been speculation about an incident between Dave and Boris and now confirmation has surfaced that they are actually true. It appears that Dave was ready to ditch Boris but had a last minute change of mind.

"He just couldn't perform and we just thought - he's got to go. He was destined for the scrapheap" said Dave. "But he is such a nice bloke and we didn't really want to get rid of him so we started looking into alternative solutions. Since the herbal treatment began working we have never seen him so rampant."

"Since beginning the supplements Boris has gone from strength to strength. One only has to look at the way he helped the distressed cyclist to see the outstanding results that this herbal remedy has achieved."

Pundits have suggested that if it hadn't been for their membership of the Bullingdon Club that Boris' days would definitely have been numbered. They have also confirmed that they believe the timing of the announcement is significant to prevent it becoming an issue in the upcoming general election.