dirty devon

Analysts were shocked at the results of their study that showed Devon to be firmly wedged in the bottom of the faithfulness table. The study began with the hypothesis that Essex would be the sluttiest of them all but the results have forced a rethink. "We always believed that the relationship between Devon and Cornwall was a strong one, full of reciprocal love and affection" said a statistician from the project. "How wrong we were."

"While Cornwall was at home cooking the dinner, looking after the house, caring for the children, Devon was sneaking about the country having affair after affair. We found evidence that suggests Devon seduced Gibraltar in a hotel one evening, the Isle of Wight the following morning in the car park and the Isle on Man in the toilets of a motorway service station after it stopped off for petrol on the journey home."

"It seems that while Essex might have lots on show that leaves nothing to the imagination and engage in frequent sexual routines that, quite frankly, would make a contortionist's eyes water it is incredibly loyal to its mate. We've tested the perception that this translates into infidelity and proven it wrong."