fine

New government proposals were announced this week that would give every citizen in the country exactly the same powers to hand out fines and arrest people as the police. The Citizen Sheriff Accreditation Scheme is to be rolled out across the whole country later this year.

The scheme has been hailed by both the Ministry of Justice and the Office for Equality as brilliant. Their spokespeople have been giving interviews to support the idea all morning.

"We've worked hard on this initiative" said the spokesperson from the Office for Equality. "We believe that the previous discriminatory position, where police officers were the only ones who could issue fines or arrest people, was a terrible injustice for the majority of the population. We welcome this levelling of the playing field and creation of a far fairer and more equal society."

"I'd just like to add" said the spokesperson from the Ministry of Justice "that in these times of financial difficulty the implied savings from policing, and the contribution that the extra fines will make to the Treasury, are also welcomed."

The majority of the public are against the idea because they realise the chaos that will be unleashed if this scheme goes ahead.