mechaphilia

A coroner has recorded a verdict of death by misadventure on a young man who died after falling from a car bonnet he was mounting. The fatal incident happened in a quiet car park in a local beauty spot.

Several emergency service personnel who had attended the scene of the accident gave evidence at the enquiry. Sergeant Vera Pert from the Essex constabulary described the scene that confronted them when they arrived at the incident.

"We believe that the deceased had driven his date to the spot before attempting to engage in sexual intercourse" she said. "You could tell he loved her very much, perhaps too much as it turns out, by the quality of the polishing on the bonnet."

"In my mind, based on the facts as we found them when we arrived, there were no other parties involved save for the ones that were present as we attended the scene" continued Sergeant Pert. "The wounds on the deceased are entirely consistent with the theory that he slid from where he had mounted the vehicle's front end and fell backwards onto the ground."

"I'd like to use this opportunity to remind people that sexual intercourse in a public place could lead to criminal charges that could include lewd behaviour, public indecency or in extreme cases sex with a Minor."