part-time

You can barely turn on the television or radio, read a newspaper or blog these days without stumbling across the phrase 'efficiency savings'. It doesn't matter which flavour of politician or pundit is giving their opinion efficiency savings are most definitely the hot topic of the moment.

The private sector has long lead the way in efficiency so we turned to ex-minister for girls who look like boys, now human resources director for Daniel's Wanking Palace, Yvette Cooper to find out her strategy for reducing overheads.

"Here at DWP the thing we are most concerned about is the planned National Insurance hike. We believe that is it an unfair tax on jobs. Businesses have been damaged enough during this catastrophic recession and cannot afford to be crippled financially again. Our plan to reduce our costs is to recruit all new staff on a part-time basis only."

"The benefits for us are twofold" she continued. "Firstly it increases the flexibility of the workforce by increasing the amount of employees we have who can cover our busier periods. Secondly by keeping the gross wage of all our staff below the NI threshold it massively reduces our manpower costs which will be directly reflected in a healthier bottom line."

"Naturally we'll wrap it up in some doublespeak bollocks about it being family friendly to keep our employees happy, tell them it's for their own benefit, that kind of thing."