The phone lines are burning red hot in Labour HQ as they desperately try to top the media stunt by Nigel Farage*. Tradition dictates that broadcast media are not allowed to discuss the election on voting day until after the polls shut at 10pm.
"All this talk about UKIP might give them, and especially Farage, the sympathy vote" said one senior member of the Labour campaign team. "We cannot allow the Conservatives to lose the Buckingham constituency to UKIP but, more importantly, if we can top that we might stand a chance today."
"Right now our preferred option is for Ed Balls to be permanently disfigured after an encounter with some UAF thugs. It will gain the rest of the party extra votes and no-one will be able to tell the difference once the bandages come off. To be honest he's the most expendable as we think he's going to lose his seat today anyway."
Other options are being explored but time is running out if they too are to beat the embargo on political reporting before 10pm today.
* Get well soon Nigel (and your pilot). There aren't enough entertaining characters in politics.
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5 comments:
The same thought immediately occurred to me - there must be a few Labour types looking anxiously over their shoulders in case Mandy has decided to send the boys round.
But sympathy for Ed Balls? That'd be pushing it.
They'll find some way to get on the news Widdi. Let's face it they have no scruples.
Get well soon Nigel.
I just wish Dave had a fraction of your charisma & then Broon's crooks would have been toast long ago.
Well, well, well....
Al Habibi No See it seems - Broon Broadcasting Co sees fit to bury a news item like this ...
I do so hope that they get a really painful, messy comeuppance - I'm so sick of their meddling and "do as we say" or we'll bury you as best we can carry on.
I've seen events and been involved in subsequent "news" and the BBC ... eargggh , cough, pause, spit.
I do wonder what would have been reported if a BBC anointed one had a small incident...
From the pics of the wreckage I've seen, even allowing for the lads from the fire brigade being a bit over zealous with their oversize can openers, Nigel was extremely lucky to get out of this prang alive.
Now, /if/ he'd been killed how would the goons from Broadcasting House have covered that ?? Fulsome dancing on his grave no doubt in my mind at least.
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