gameshow in turmoil

The future of a new ITV gameshow was plunged into doubt last night after tensions erupted between the contestants over the results of the audience vote. Officials are working through the night to try to ensure that the show will be able to broadcast the next episode, due to be aired on the 18th of May 2010.

Fucking the Electorate, the latest Saturday night show to be produced by Lord Spent Enema, is a mix of popularity contest and memory test where the contestants are put through their paces in front of a live television audience. The public then get to vote on which act they want to put through to the following show based on their performance.

The result of this week's show has been plunged into doubt after none of the contestants managed to achieve the required backing of the audience to secure their passage through to the next show. Claims that people were unable to register their support for the contestants because the phone lines closed too early have been reported by most of the news channels. "I nipped out to make a cup of tea in the advert break" said one obviously distressed woman "and then my daughter was using the phone. By the time I'd got her to end her call the lines were closed. I feel totally disenfranchised by not having left myself enough time to vote."

Furious scenes erupted across the country. Angry viewers claimed that the performer with the largest share of the vote should not go through because more people had not voted for him as talk of a potential alliance between two of the top three scoring contestants emerged. The dynamic of the split of votes is such that the first and third placed could pool their votes and proceed, or the second, third, fourth, and fifth placed contestants could gang up to expel the man who received the highest share of public support.

Critics of the 'winner takes all' voting system have gathered in demonstration. They claim that the a new voting system would be fairer on anyone who bothers to pick up the phone. Instead of only one phone line there would be n-1 lines (where n= the total number of acts that week) per act. Each line would be designated with the second choice so that if any of the acts failed to gain the required support to proceed the lowest scoring performers would be eliminated and the second choices of those votes for the disqualified entrants would be counted. This, claim the proponents of the system, would ensure fairness was hardwired into the process.

ITV bosses have sent negotiating squads to the hotel of each of the contenders in an attempt to resolve the dispute, hopefully before 7am on Monday. They really don't care how the impasse is resolved because, ultimately, it makes good television and that's the whole point, isn't it?