osborne sets first budget date

As we enter this new age of austerity, of higher taxes and lower public spending, of belt tightening and sock darning, it's nice to see that even those Toffs at the top are doing their bit to promote fiscal probity. Unlike the lavish receptions and opulent occasions that the previous government have become famous for George Osborne has opted for something a little more low key when the Minister of Economy for El Salvador comes to give him some basic tuition next week.

It would be bad form not to accompany his guest for an evening of entertainment after a hard day's work so, given the monetary constraints, the pair will be heading off to a greasy spoon cafe followed by a walk in the park. If the evening progresses in a certain way it is alleged that reservations have already been made at a nearby Travelodge.

If successful then budget dates will be rolled out across all government departments in an effort to claw back some of the massive deficit. Initial estimates suggest that as much as £100 million per year could be saved by scaling back the entertainment costs.

Union leaders have threatened to ballot their members over strike action if budget dates are made compulsory claiming that such a fundamental change to working conditions is intolerable. "Undermining the workers like this" said one shop steward "is all these bloody toffs know. We will be advising our members to vote for strike action to stop these outrageous proposals."