recession

The BBC are reporting that a house in Northern Ireland has been attacked by a hoodie wielding a crossbow. Political leaders are blaming the recession for an attack.

"It's a sign of the desperate financial situation that we are in" said one local councillor "that even criminals cannot afford the basic tools of their profession. Can you imagine any self-respecting vigilante thug being reduced to this low level of intimidation during the boom years?"

"Things are only going to get worse you mark my words" she continued. "With the prospect of a double dip recession we are beginning to see even more efficiency savings from the terror fraternity. I've been told of a number of cases where thugs have asked to have their projectiles returned."

A spokesperson from the charitable organisation Proper Projectiles For Paramilitary Protagonists (PPFPP) blamed the decline in quality of remote weaponry on a lack of government investment in the area. "There has been a serious lack of government investment in this crucial area of criminal activity" said the PPFPP spokesperson "and we think it is vital that, even in this uncertain economic climate, that they take steps to rectify the funding shortfall. If the situation gets much worse we could see a dramatic reduction in the number of anonymous terror attacks which would not bode well for the future of the sector."