spwned

Ex-celebrities gathered themselves and rushed to Cambridgeshire this week after a rumour circulated that there was an opportunity for positive media exposure. They are hoping that they too can an enjoy a revival of fortune similar to the brief ascendancy Rebecca Loos experienced after wanking a pig on the Channel 5 reality farm show.

For their moment in the spotlight they will be assisting trout to spawn, a task made particularly challenging by the location and also the size of their quarries. The Environment agency will be 'on hand' to assist them in their endeavours and to supply practical tips and guidance in the art of manual fish spawning techniques.

"The biggest hurdle that we've had to overcome" said one fading ex z-list 'starlet' "is trying to make our efforts look sexy. When Becca was tossing the pig young men watching that could imagine it was their cock in her hand but with a fish? A fish is not normally associated with blokes, is it?"

"I'm not doing this to become a lesbian icon, if you know what I mean" she continued while adjusting the postage stamp sized bikini that barely covered her nipples. "I'm hoping to be noticed by at least a Championship footballer, if not a player from a minor premiership team. I'm perfect WAG material - I just need greater exposure."