unwanted mental images of the day

Courtesy of Polly Hudson in today's Mirror

When Gordon Brown was introduced, he reminded me of the Spice Girls as they took to the stage .. .. .. he swiftly moved on to point out the undeniable fact that Britain is now on the road to recovery. Then he reminded us that he’s the man who gave it mouth-to-mouth.

bigots

Bigots have reacted angrily to Gordon Brown comparing them to pensioners yesterday. The Prime Minister's unguarded comments have caused outrage amongst xenophobes up and down the country.

"We are not a bunch of enfeebled OAPs" said one senior bigot. "Most of us are young and virile humans in the prime of our lives. To ridicule us in this way on an international stage is deplorable. We will be taking our complaint to the courts to seek redress for this horrendous slur."

The Prime Minister attempted to claim that he'd said no such thing until he was confronted with the audio recording of his comments. Once he realised he couldn't continue with the denial aspect he issued an apology.

"I'm mortified" he said. "Not only because my comments were heard but also because they have been reported. I never intended that the object of my derision should be able to hear my remarks. I've been to speak to a bigot and my apology has been accepted."

"You misunderstood what I said, and you have accepted there was a misunderstanding and have accepted my apology."

"If you like, I am a penitent sinner. Sometimes I say things I don’t mean you to hear, sometimes I say things by mistake and sometimes I say things you want to correct very quickly, so I wanted to come here and say that you made a mistake and misinterpreted what I said."

with friends like these

Seen on the front page of the Mirror site promoting last night's debate. Surely they could have picked an image of their man that was a little more flattering?

second half collapse

After a brilliant first half of the leaders debate that saw his approval rating soar to a massive 70% from Labourlist Gordon Brown suffered a dramatic second half collapse that saw his approval rating plummet.



Even one of Gordon's chief cheerleaders couldn't disguise the terrible second 45 minutes his party leader put in this evening much to the amusement of everyone who has seen his assessment.

forced labour

3rd leaders debate liveblog

flibalobalob

In the leaders debate later today we have Gordon 'Weed' Brown battling the almost indistinguishable Dave 'Bill' Cameron and Nick 'Ben' Clegg for the chance to be Prime Minister on May 7th.

Will Gordon deploy his (weed)killer one liners with the same lack of timing and panache as he has in the previous debates?

Will the audience finally be able to tell which one is Clegg and which one is Cameron?

Does that hedgehog remind you of Ken Clarke?

Which tie will Dimbleby be wearing?

Does anyone really care which one of them wins so long as it's not the weed?

Having had no option to watch the last two debates, and therefore listened to them on the radio, I'm in a position where I can watch this third and final encounter. I think, in the interests of impartiality, I might just listen rather than watch.

Either way I'll be joining in with the liveblogging .. .. .. pop back after 8:20 to and settle down for an evening of politics and piss taking.

soon to be a bestseller?

Gordon gaffes again

sharing a joke with workers at BBC Scotland

Original here

it asda be you

hop token

Taking a short break from laughing at Gordon's bigotgate moment I grabbed the bike and went out on the hills with some mates. As is traditional we ended the ride in a local pub for a couple of beers.

I was excited to see the new beer from the Adur Brewery available at the pumps and proceeded to test it properly. And it was good. Very Very good indeed.

I'm suffering a little from the effect of the testing session so I won't head into any kind of detailed tasting notes apart from to say it has more hops than the previous output of the brewery and that it is very very good indeed.

Have I mentioned I liked it?

new attack poster surfaces

sympathy for Gordon

the apology explained

It's interesting to watch where Gordon pulls his 'lying grin' and where the 'face of thunder' shows through during this short piece for the massed ranks of the media.

has gordon blown his chances of coming second in the election?

speaking of a positive campaign message

Is it any wonder that people are angry and frustrated at political parties with this kind of election broadcast?

liveblogging the leadersdebate 29th Apr 2010

On Thursday evening at 8.30pm I'lll be joining in the live blogging the 3rd Live Leaders' Debate which is being broadcast on BBC TV and Sky News between 8.30pm and 10.00pm. This week's 10 blog 'chat' collaboration will be between All Seeing Eye, Barking Spider, Biased-BBC, Corrugated Soundbite, Dick Puddlecote, Governmentitus, GrumpyOldTwat, Subrosa and The Red Rag, - all excellent and highly recommended blogs. If you haven't been to some of them before then please take this chance to try them out.

Will the SNP, UKIP, BNP, Greens or Plaid Cymru crash the cosy ménage à trois? Will one of the three actually discuss their own policy rather than resorting to cheap point scoring from the other two? There's only one way to find out.

To catch the live blogging, come back here on Thursday, April 29th just before 8.30pm

education spending

The Tory plans to allow parents to set up their own schools are under fire from Ed Balls. He says that existing schools will get their funding cut and class sizes will go up because of the proposals.

Is money being cut from an under-performing school and given to a new one an issue provided that the total funding per student remains the same?

If a group of parents set up their own school so that there are two schools instead of one in the area won't that mean there are likely to be extra places available which could lead to a reduction in class size?

This might be an over simplistic view of the situation but as I've mentioned before the arcane art of government mathematics is not my speciality....

the holy grail

moral compass my arse

I'm guessing the saintly satnav went the same way as so many Nokias which is why the fear fuelled PEB was commissioned and broadcast.

positive campaigning labour style

As I commented on CF's blog - YaaaY for positive, substance focussed, campaigning. Not.

EDIT: I've just read the the Mirror who quote Lord Spent Enema thus

"Labour has a duty to make sure that every family in Britain knows how much they would lose if the Conservatives were elected.

The Tories wont like this film because it exposes how their unfair policies would make British families worse off. It focuses attention on the cuts to family living standards the Tories don't like talking about.

This film puts the focus on Tory policy because it is policies and substance that will determine the result of this election. Only a vote for Labour will protect your child tax credit, your child trust fund and your right to see a cancer specialist within two weeks."

Fuck me sideways with a large object. The Labour Party telling me I'll be worse off under the Tories? From the party who has already spent next year's tax revenue before the end of this year that's a bit fucking rich.

competition time again

More comments made by Labour, Lib Dem and Conservative PPCs in another discussion about links between alcohol and crime. Can you spot which party each candidate belongs to purely from their comments (and without the aid of google search)?

STATEMENT 1
"One thing is looking to minimum pricing of alcohol and tying it as a condition into liquor licences. So if an establishment was shown to be selling alcohol at an irresponsibly low price then they would have their licence either withdrawn or tightened up."

STATEMENT 2
We need to give police and local councils the power to deal with drinking appropriately. Banning orders need to be used more effectively and make sure the priorities of the local council are the ones of the local people, so that where there is a problem the powers can be used appropriately."

STATEMENT 3
"We have to deal with the 24-hour drinking which turned out to be a complete disaster. We also have to stop young people from accessing alcohol by coming down heavily on those outlets selling them and stopping supermarkets selling alcohol as a loss-leader."


Answers and a link will be in the comments tomorrow morning.

protecting the environment

trans-pacific rower breathes sigh of relief

Roz Savage, athlete, hottie, rower and environmental advocate had a lucky escape just prior to setting off on her latest adventure. Many political figures, desperate to associate themselves with her voyage in an effort to make themselves appear to be virile go-getters, have queued up to offer kind words of support for her voyage across the Pacific Ocean.

Including Gordon Brown.

"It took some fancy footwork" said Roz "but I managed to avoid having any contact with him in my preparation for the journey. The last thing I need is the curse of Jonah striking when I'm alone in the middle of the ocean."

"I've had to cancel meetings with charities, sneak away from photoshoot, and on more than one occasion run away with him pursuing me down the road. I've applied to the courts for an injunction but it's been held up for some reason."

Many sporting teams have regretted not turning down a visit from Gordon Brown although the effect is not confined to physical contact. A simple message of good luck can be enough to jinx a sporting endeavour. Wayne Rooney, David Beckham and Michael Owen all suffered career threatening injuries after Gordon 'bigged them up' in radio broadcasts.

For now though Roz is safe in the middle of the ocean. With the general election campaign in full swing Gordon has other, more pressing, issues to attend to than trying to grab his photo opportunity with her.

a final message from gordon

popping the question

clegg vs marr

A wave of my cock at Al Jahom for the inspiration for this.

short custodial sentences

I was watching the debate between Johnson, Huhne and Grayling (yes worried readers he is still alive) getting increasingly angry with Huhne's position on short term custodial sentences. He has referred to them as a school for criminals that teach young, mainly men, new tricks and techniques that leads to a high re-offending rate (92%) after a first custodial sentence.

Can I offer an alternate opinion?

Often the courts have handed down many other sentences to these young offenders and they have made no difference to their behaviour patterns. Being in prison doesn't bother them in the slightest either. They just. Don't. Give a shit.

In my experience these people all know that the judicial system is not effective in curtailing their lifestyles. One individual that I know has been sentenced to community service (failed to attend), has been tagged (cut it off), has been fined (didn't pay it), for a number of separate violent offences and it made no difference to his behaviour patterns. After he spent three weeks on remand for his latest offence (that I know of) he was sentenced to a year on tag, weekly anger management counselling and weekly probation meetings. His probation officer decided (apparently) that he should not be tagged. He has attended one other probation session and none of the anger management sessions since his release six weeks ago. And that's it. The punishments for his actions have been somewhere between ineffectual and non-existent.

Why? Because he doesn't give a shit. He's young, he's single, no mortgage, no responsibility. Nothing that the government or the judicial system can do will alter his behaviour.

In some ways I think I should admire the lack of fear, the lack of respect of authority. The 'live for today and don't worry about the future' attitude that he, and others like him, exudes is definitely more appealing than the 'live long and dull' agenda of the prohibitionists. I can't though because his actions cause harm to others whether it's the person he has attacked, the person he stole from, the neighbours who are kept awake through the night by the volume of his music or the person who's property he damaged.

I don't have any answers. There is an ever larger sub-group of the population that is breeding a new generation of kids who are growing up not giving a shit. I don't want an authoritarian state where fear is used to control the public but at the same time I think the situation will only become worse unless some sort of changes are made to the current system.

Short custodial sentences are not currently the problem or the cure but the re-offending rates should focus attention on an issue that needs addressing. How do you make someone give a shit about our society?

picking up the pace

I've been messing around with new (old) editing software on the macbook

before he was famous

Not many people know that Nick Clegg once worked developing catchphrases and gestures for gameshow hosts .. .. ..

separated at birth

strategy

In an effort to ensure that Blairites have no party left to take control of after the general election defeat Gordon Brown has decided to raise his profile on the campaign trail. This untimely intervention is predicted to produce the worst result ever in election history for the party.

Lord Spent Enema, the master tactician behind the campaign so far, is reported by undisclosed sources to be spitting feather boas. He has, up until now, managed a brilliant damage limitation strategy by ensuring that Gordon scares the minimum number of voters with his 'back gardens and sofas' itinerary.

After being tipped off that he did not appear on election material for Labour PPCs Gordon began to suspect that he was being deliberately sidelined from the campaign. The crucial moment of realisation came outside the SKY TV studios before the second debate when the security guard asked who the fuck he was.

Kevin Maguire's fanboy ravings on the front page of The Mirror have not helped to reduce Gordon's unease that Machiavellian plots exist to remove him. Rather than make a quiet, dignified, exit he has found a new determination to "take the whole fucking lot down" when he loses the election.

Senior figures in the Blairite camp are horrified at this unilateral decision that could wreck any chance they have of salvaging any political credibility on May 7th. "We were hoping" said one "that whatever the result David Miliband would step up and depose the clunking lunatic taking Balls and Cooper out at the same time. If Gordon becomes more visible to the general public we're not going to have enough MPs to do a deal with the Lib Dems and form a government. This isn't on the record is it?"

At a hastily arranged press conference late last night Lord Spent Enema insisted that this just a new phase of his election strategy. "This is just a new phase of my election strategy" he said. "David Cameron says he is the instrument of change but you will see between now and May 6th that they are the same old Tories with the same old campaign tactics."

"This shows the voting public that we are the only real force for change in the country" he continued. "We've changed our campaign strategy as easily as we could, not that we would need to consider such a thing, change our party leader."


In other news - Nokia have revised their profit outlook.

competition time

I've just read comments made by the Labour, Lib Dem and Conservative PPCs in a discussion about links between alcohol and crime. Can you spot which party each candidate belongs to purely from their comments (and without the aid of google search)?

STATEMENT A:

"It's crazy that we're selling alcohol at pocket money prices because that actually means that you are going to end up with problems amongst some of the kids. Alcohol has been getting cheaper and cheaper relative to our incomes for many, many years. We've got supermarkets now acting so irresponsibly. They're selling alcohol below the cost even of the duty to get people in and that's just not right."

STATEMENT B:

"We certainly have a serious drink problem that's related to anti-social behaviour. What we want to do is tackle the drinks that are being bought in supermarkets and off-licences by young people, the super-strength cider and alcopops, and put more of a charge on them."

STATEMENT C:

"People need to take responsibility and cannot blame the government and society in general. They need to cut down on the amount of alcohol they have and people need to look after themselves better. The government can't do everything for them."




Updated: The answer is now in the comments section. Play fair and don't peek until after you've guessed.

on the buses

where's Gordon?

So this dropped through my door yesterday and I can spot a photo of the Badger but no photo of the Saviour of the World. How strange, especially from the latest generation of a prominent Labour family. It's almost as if she is embarrassed to be associated with the Prime Minister.

did gordon lie?

I really don't like Gordon Brown. I can't think of anyone who I'd like less as the Prime Minister come May 7th. Apart from Mandelson. Or Balls. All right maybe there's a few but you get my drift though? Good.

There have been a number of claims this morning the Brown lied when he said "I didn't authorise those" after Cameron got angry about his claims that the Conservatives were planning to savagely cut services for old people. The claims centre around a flyer from Gordon's campaign team in his constituency that attack the SNP for wanting to savage services for old people.

Did Gordon lie? Did he personally authorise the leaflets in every constituency around the country or was that the responsibility of his campaign managers? He might have authorised his own leaflet but as far as I can see from the scans it does not attack the Conservatives.

So long as he doesn't deviate from the response "I did not authorise the leaflets attacking the Conservatives" then he is probably telling a very narrow and specific version of the truth.

bashing the bishops

keep quiet!

Chiefs at Gatwick Airport have been forced to insist that all aeroplanes landing and taking off are fitted with extra sound-proofing after complaints from local residents. Extra restrictions such as soft tyres, scarves tied around the engine casings, oiling aeroplane brake pads to prevent squealing and reducing take off speeds by 90% are also being considered.

The complaints have all come from residents of a block of flats that is constructed 20 metres away from runway three. They say that the level of noise they are experiencing is affecting their quality of life which breaches Section 7, para III, subsection iv, appendix 4.2a, note 53, point 13b of the European Crustacean of Human Rights. If the noise level doesn't decrease the local environmental health officers have threatened to slap a noise abatement order on the site which carries a potential penalty of fifty pounds and a stern telling off from a magistrate.

"It's ridiculous" said one of the residents. "Every 45 seconds it's like having a plane taking off next to your bedroom window. I know my rights and I shouldn't have to put up with that kind of disturbance in my home. I know that many of the residents have contacted the council and asked them for their help in stopping this noise hazard."

When it was suggested to the whiny resident that he shouldn't have moved in to the area if he was worried about the noise, given that the airport has been in use since 1920 and the flats are just 6 months old he got very angry and slammed the door in our face.

leaders debate liveblog - round 2

thanks but no thanks

I'll save the £15.89 they want for the book.

spot the difference

Are you one of the XFactor generation who is having trouble deciding who to vote for? This handy visual guide might help you decide between the two main parties in the May 6th election.

nepotism?

[please click for bigness]

Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality

A new political party has entered the race in the Brighton Pavilion ward. Citizens for Undead Rights and Equality candidate Soraya Anne Kara faces Leo Atreides (No party listed), Nigel David Carter (UKIP), Ian Fyvie (Socialist Labour), Caroline Lucas (Green Party), Berni Millam (Liberal Democrats), Nancy Platts (Labour Party) and Charlotte Vere (Conservative) in the race for the seat.

The CURE manifesto pledges

* To give the undead equal rights to the living
* To make cemeteries more comfortable for its inhabitants
* To invest in the discovery of a cure for Zombie bites
* To increase the minimum statutory retirement age to beyond death
* To permit the marriage of living and the undead

They are also fielding 6 other candidates for the May 6th election. We wish them the best of luck.

on the campaign trail

Cleggy would be advised not to leave his battle bus unattended on Friday if the rumours that he will be speaking at Varndean 6th Form college in Brighton are correct.

Apparently while iDave spoke there on Monday someone etched "Lib Dems" into the side of the coach he'd left parked outside with a key. Kids eh?

egged on

The man wearing a hooded top who threw an egg at David Cameron has been identified.

it's never going to happen

desperation

outbid

A man who bid against himself on ebay suffered a second blow today when a court convicted him of gross stupidity and fraud. Tough new sentencing guidelines that were surreptitiously slipped through parliament as part of the Digital Economy Bill mean that he is facing an eleventy billions pound fine for his crime when he returns for sentencing next month.

The defendant described his actions as "a simple, honest, mistake" caused by having two separate ebay accounts and not checking the items he was bidding for in each account against the other. He claimed not to realise that he was committing an offence be forcing up the final price he paid for the items.

Lord Spent Enema, the Minister for Everything, hailed the punishment as a brilliant success for the judicial system. "This is a brilliant success for the judicial system" he said. "It sends the message to criminals that here in the UK we are serious about, and tough on, electronic crime."

"The Conservatives probably would have opposed the D.E. Bill if it had gone to a proper vote. This judgement shows that they were wrong on that, wrong on the economy, wrong on the recovery, wrong on jobs, in fact wrong on every major crisis the government has caused in the last thirteen years" he continued. "The only credible choice in the election is to vote for 5 more years of Gordon Brown by voting either Labour or Lib Dem. Only a strong Labour government, or a Lab-Lib coalition, can reduce the deficit in a socially responsible way while continuing to increase spending on public services."

liveblogging the leaders debate 22 Apr 10

On Thursday evening at 8.00pm I'll be live blogging the 2nd Live Leaders' Debate which is being broadcast on Sky News between 8.00pm and 9.30pm. Just for laughs, being stuck at work, I'll be following the action on Radio 5.

Come and join in the Leaders' Debate Live Blog which, apart from the opportunity to have your say, promises to be great fun as 10, yes 10 blogs will all be hosting it simultaneously. Who can forget the fun from the last event that G.O.T. put together on the day of the budget? This promises to be even more explosive.

Will the new boy wonder Nick Cleggover manage to maintain his momentum (fnarr) despite the fact that we've all had a week to study his policies? Will Call Me Dave get his arse in to gear this time and show a bit more backbone? Will Gordon just fuck the fuck
off! Please?

This 'chat' collaboration will be between All Seeing Eye, Barking Spider, Biased-BBC, Corrugated Soundbite, Dick Puddlecote, Governmentitus, GrumpyOldTwat, Subrosa and Tory Totty Online, - all excellent and highly recommended blogs. If you haven't been to some of them before then please take this chance to try them out. To catch the live blogging, come back here tomorrow, Thursday April 22nd just before 8pm.

vote lib dem .. ..

.. .. .. to keep Gordon Brown as Prime Minister.

the clegg-browns

Senior figures in the Lib Dems have repeatedly refused to rule out the possibility that they would support Gordon Brown as the next Prime Minister even if Labour came third in the election.

make my day

the clegg factor

is this wise?

With all the trouble the Vatican finds itself in over the allegations that the clergy have been doing kids .. ..

rights

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?

promenading

"Excuse me sir" said the Sargeant in charge of the cells. "Your fine has been paid and you are free to leave." I looked up to see the faces of mother and father staring at me from the other side of the bars. Hers was full of worry. His full of something I'd never seen when he looked at me before - admiration.

Yesterday afternoon I had determined that I would take Penelope to the picturesque Kentish town of Herne Bay for a light picnic supper and a stroll along the promenade. I have to confess an ulterior motive was behind the plans. I was hoping that a glass of wine in the cool evening air, sitting watching the sun go down, might be just the thing to soften her resistance (but not my ardour) and we might finally consummate our marriage. When I agreed not to pressure her taking our relationship to the next level I had no inkling that now, 6 months since we wed, that I would still be waiting. There is only so much a man can do for himself.

The Principia Aphrodesia had been consulted extensively as I created what I thought would be the perfect repast and packed it into a small travelling case. As the locomotive raced through the countryside we made pleasant small talk and sipped champagne. After a minor delay we alighted on the platform in buoyant mood and when Penelope unexpectedly linked her arm through mine my spirits raised higher still.

Events took a turn for the worse when we reached the waterfront. Almost immediately that we had begun our stroll on the promenade we were approached by an imitation constable who demanded to know whether we'd been drinking. Naturally I waved the little jobsworth away telling them it was none of their damn business and Penelope and I attempted to continue our romantic journey.

The jobsworth positioned himself in front of us and started babbling on about "dispersal this" and "anti-social that" and thwarted our attempts to ignore him. When he went to grab my wife's arm I drew myself up to full height and vigorously defended her honour. Perhaps, it seems, a little too vigorously.

Even after a night of sober reflection in the dingy cells of the police station I still cannot believe that a young couple, such as we are, could constitute a group of people that require dispersing. Whoever designed this draconian intervention needs to revisit their Ordinary Level General Certificate of Education for Mathematics as two is generally regarded as a pair by even the simplest of buffoons.

As my parents escort me from the premises into the waiting and welcoming arms of my wife I detect a spring in father's stride that wasn't there before. It would not be proper to ask him but I think it may be pride......

adonis

advice on technique

what the carter ruck?

A row between authors over critical user reviews left about their books on Amazon lead to one of them instructing lawyers Carter Ruck in an effort to uncover the identity of the user who had made the comments.

Sensitive much?

pax-man

Is anyone in any doubt that Clegg would not be so keen to be interviewed by Paxman after his success on Thursday night ....

@oleuanna

A few people I know have found out I use Twitter and they asked me to explain how it works. So far the best explanation I've come up with so far is to compare it to a busy local pub that also has live bands playing.

If you go to the pub regularly you will always see someone there that you know. It may be the alcoholic that props up the bar from opening to closing time every single day of the week. It might be the business man who drops in for a couple of drinks after work every day to avoid going home to his wife. It might be the group of mountain bikers who drop in on the same night every week for a post ride beverage or the Morris dancers on the first Tuesday of the month. People drop in and leave, each to their own rhythm, and the conversation dips and flows, swirls and eddies as each voice joins or disengages.

Some people are only there to watch the band play. They have no interest in engaging in the flow of conversation. The band often doesn't give a toss about the venue apart from counting the number of adoring fans that are there to worship them.

Then there are the people who have only turned up so they can advertise another gig at a different venue. They put up posters and hand out flyers but that is the extent of their interaction with the crowd.

Not everyone likes each other though and pockets of conversation form in different areas of the pub. There is definitely friction between the smokers and the anti-smokers and terse words are exchanged from time to time. Because the pub is of sufficient size this rarely escalates into more than strong words or mean looks (apart from in the summer when the anti-smokers try to commandeer the beer garden that has been inhabited solely by the heaviest smokers through the colder months).

Every pub has a Jack-the-old-drunk-who-has-no-understanding-of-personal-space who wanders around talking at people who can only understand every third word. Occasionally the bar staff will intervene and send him on his way home. They tolerate him only so far.

People who want to have discrete conversations do so in the privacy of the toilet or the dark recesses at the bottom of the beer garden.

So you've arrived and you've got a drink and you are chatting away with a group of friends and someone, carrying beers back from the bar, tunes in to what you are saying just as one of your group fires off a quick one liner. He laughs as he walks past then tells his group of friends, pointing at the person who made the gag who then nods their acknowledgement of recognition. This process may be repeated. It may lead to new conversations and friendships.

Not everyone understands the pub though. They turn up on their own because they've heard how great it is but when they get there they make no effort to search for a friendly face or to join in the fun. Then they leave after a poor experience and blame the pub. That's not to say that the pub is for everyone. Many people are adamant that they don't ever want to go and who am I to force them?

glassed

If you've ever felt the urge to slam a beer glass into Jo Brand's face now's your chance ....

headline of the day

Surely the police or paramedics would be the ones that had to do that?

the leaders' debate

I was working so I had to listen to the radio rather than watch the TV coverage. One thing that stood out was the sound of papers being turned whenever Gordon Brown was speaking. I have no idea where this sound was coming from. Was it Gordon? Was it the presenter? I have no idea but the impression I got was that someone had to use notes when speaking.

Party spin doctors and strategists now have six days to plan for the next show, coach their man, guess their opponents' strategies.

Reading through the comments around the internet I have to conclude that the debate tonight was pretty much worthless. No-one seems to have been swayed by the arguments at all apart from to have their pre-debate beliefs strengthened.

As a piece of theatre, a way of generating news, it has to be the election story of the week but I'm not sure if it works with three people in the same way that the American debates work with the two presidential candidates. Not sure I'll be tuning in next week.

nick wasn't sure why he failed to become the new dr who

the youth of today

questions,

Did the Mirror pass the test?



No, they failed miserably.

ash brings uk flights to a standstill

The skies above the UK are much quieter than usual today as all flights have been grounded because of the presence of ASH. Their director, Deborah Arnott, is demanding that the government brings forward plans to ban smokers from aeroplanes.

"While the government has made good progress in victimising smokers we feel they could be doing much much more" erupted Ms Arnott "and we will continue to cause disruption in different areas until they make good on their promises to us."

"Today we have brought the airports to a standstill. Next week we will clog up every accident and emergency department in the country unless our demands are met."

ASH are demanding that smokers be banned from all public and communal transport, be denied access to the NHS, and be prevented from becoming parents. Unless all of their conditions are met they insist they will continue to cause havoc and disruption.

"My team has spent years producing corrupt research and dodgy statistical analysis, scare stories and outrage for the media and to what end?" insisted Debs. "To be ignored by the very people who challenged us to produce the results they required? Enough is enough."

election campaigns as viewed through flickr streams

Flickr is a constant source of amusement, inspiration, and raw material especially during this election campaign. I've got the conservative, lib dem, uklabour and Gordon Brown2010 photostreams bookmarked for easy reference. I've noticed a few things from my trawl through them.

Gordon Brown rarely appears in the UKLabour photos. It's almost as if they are embarrassed about him. He is the only party leader to have his stream separate from his party. Gordon's stream is also the only one that does not let users download the images or view them in their original size. You will only see these images in the sizes that we choose.

The Conservatives and the Lib Dems both focus a lot of attention on their party leaders, iDave and Sam Cam for the Tories, Nick and St Vince for the Lib Dems, meeting large groups of people around the country alongside the inevitable press gatherings and manifesto launches. Gordon on the other hand cuts a relatively lonely path through sofa after settee in old people's homes with his wife and a few minders to support him. Maybe he's sizing them up for May 7th?

hot sin

150g of freshly grated parmigiana (parmesan) cheese
250ml (1 cup) mayonnaise
440g artichoke hearts (1 tin)
2 green chillies




1. Drain the artichoke hearts and dice, finely dice the chillies and mix with the mayo and the cheese in a mixing bowl.

2. Transfer to an ovenproof dish. The mix should form a layer approximately 1" deep.

3. Cook in an oven for 10-15 mins at 180˚C or until the top is golden brown.

4. Serve hot.


We usually use tortilla chips to scoop it out of the dish but you could just as easily use raw carrot sticks, cucumber etc.

saint vince of cable

Seen here