google reader

Am I the only one that thinks the new skin that google has put on the RSS reader is a bit shit and not as easily accessible as the old skin?

boozy kids

Three news sources that I've read today reported on the survey results and statistics published by the Schools Health Education Unit. Compare the way that Sky News

The study found that 4% of 12 and 13-year-olds had drunk 28 or more units of alcohol in the week prior to being surveyed - the equivalent of 19 glasses of wine. This exceeds the Government's daily unit guidelines for men (three to four units) and women (two to three units).

the Telegraph

Meanwhile, some children as young as 12 were found to be drinking the equivalent of 19 glasses of wine a week. The study by the unit, based on data collected from more than 83,000 children aged between 10 and 15, found four per cent of children aged 12 or 13 had drunk 28 units or more of alcohol in the week before they were questioned – exceeding government limits for adult men, who can safely drink three to four units a day.

and the BBC

A small number of children as young as 12 claimed they drank the equivalent of 19 glasses of wine a week when questioned for a health survey.Research by the independent Schools Health Education Unit suggested that 4% of those questioned aged 12 or 13 claimed they drank 28 units or more.

report the findings. Surprisingly, the BBC is the only one of the three to highlight that these are claims made by the children surveyed and not absolute facts.

Also gasting my flabber is that the BBC is the only one of the three reports to mention that the claimed consumption figures are lower than previous surveys. From reading the other two articles you're left with the impression that it's a major problem that is definitely trending in the 'getting worse' direction.

What's happened at the BBC? Have all the temperance writers taken the day off?

you can tell she's married to an MP

Christine Hemming, wife of Lib Dem MP John Hemming, has been been given a nine-month suspended jail sentence and 150 hours of community service after being found guilty of burglary according to the Independent. Apparently there was video footage of her sneaking into the house of her husband's long term lover (and mother to his daughter) then leaving with a cat, called Beauty, under her arm which has not been seen since the incident (the cat, not the arm).

After being found guilty Christine said

"I'm not a criminal, yet I have a conviction. I did not deliberately take the cat. The whole process has been very unfortunate. I think the cat's the victim."

which is utterly mind boggling. Yes Christine you are a criminal because you have a conviction. You might have thought your actions were justified but a jury of your peers disagreed.

And just how the fuck does one "not deliberately" pick up a cat, put it under their arm, and walk away with it? Did the cat have a gun and force you to steal it? Did it blackmail you into abducting it from its home?

The process was "unfortunate"? As in, the criminal justice process unfortunately let the world know that you are a petty criminal? And yes, the cat is the victim. OF YOUR CRIME.

If this Coagulation makes any more cat gaffes this year .. .. .. ..

those crazy canadian politicians

How would you describe a creature that's at the top of the food chain, the only real predator of humanity?

Cool?

Courageous?

Dignified?

Maybe we should introduce Senator Nicole Eaton and MP Pat Martin to a polar bear, up close and personal, and see if they change their minds?

minge

While I was in the pub last week I was bought a pint of Crouch Vale's Summit. I've had a few of their beers before and I've quite liked them so I was looking forward to trying it. After we'd taken our first mouthful the purchaser of said pint asked me what I could taste. I described the beer to him as best I could before asking what he thought. "Well", he said, "all I can taste is minge."

He was right. Every time I drank the beer after that all I could taste was well maintained, clean, tidy, minge. We had another pint of the Summit just to be sure.

I later tweeted to see if anyone else had noticed and the brewery replied ....



The conversation didn't end there .....



They have a sense of humour. I think I quite like them!

contempt

If ever you needed proof how the political parties view the population then the debate on a referendum over our relationship with the EU in parliament last night says it all.

The three largest political parties imposed a 3 line whip on a vote, to see if we the people should be polled directly to find out what we think, the result of which was in no way binding on the government.

The message from Parliament is clear: "Go fuck yourselves plebs"

bringing powers back from the EU

In today's Telegraph William Hague says

“As a Conservative, I want to bring powers back from Europe, as we set out in our election manifesto. But a referendum on Britain’s membership of the EU, especially at this time of profound economic uncertainty, is not the answer.”

As I regularly admit I'm no fucking expert in this area but surely the simplest and quickest way to get back the ability for self governance is to leave the EU altogether? If we're not part of it we can make our own decisions about things like tax, border control, foreign policy ...... now whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is an entirely separate conversation but ......

Hope

I was dragged, kicking and screaming, up to Carshalton last night for the beer festival at The Hope. Ok so maybe I went voluntarily and there wasn't any screaming ....... I was invited to attend by the head brewer of Kent Brewery (who makes some stunning beers) as it would be a chance for us to sit and chat about all things brewery related and an opportunity that I wasn't going to turn down.

I've never been to The Hope before and was utterly charmed by the people who run it. They're friendly, welcoming, knowledgeable, run a great cellar and have a great range of beers to try especially at the moment with the beer festival running. They told me a little about the history of the pub, what kind of establishment it was when they took it over and what their vision is for the future. I wish them the best of luck with that; not that they'll need luck because they've done a brilliant job so far.

The worst part of the evening was when they found out who I was. They instantly demanded that I supply them with Ruskin's Ram after having it recommended to them by one of their customers! Delivery should be arranged over the next 10 days so if you're around that area you can get to try my beer soon.

smack

The Welsh Assembly did not grant the right to smack children so it cannot withdraw it unlike the implication in the wording of this question. What is it with Socialists and the belief that The State is all powerful?*









*Don't answer that ......

smokers cause fires

The Argus has this story today which is confusing me



Specifically this section of the story

It took firefighters 45 minutes to find the cause of the blaze - a cigarette thrown from a top floor window which had wedged in brickwork.

I've thrown many fag ends at bins, drains, walls, floors, cars, railings, drainpipes and not once, ever, never ever have I managed to wedge a burning end into brickwork. Not once. Has anyone?

Even if I had I would hope that the bricks would be a little bit more fire resistant than the implication from this piece. In fact I may well set up my own experiment at home today to test the theory ......

not for Leg-iron

Seriously ..... look away now Leg-iron ..... because if not you might click on this link to a story about no safe level of smacking children ..... and that might make your eyes explode .....

yet another email scam

Thanks, but no thanks. I will not be downloading the .zip file .....

new toys

The new casks arrived this week. Yes, I know they're not steels but at less than half the price it makes financial sense to start out with plastics. In the future, once the brewery has a healthy turnover, we may well invest in the more expensive alternative. I like the bold, permanent colour of the plastics though (unlike their metal counterparts which have a tendency to be rubbed off over time).

.

The second batch of Ruskin's Ram was ready to rack so we sterilised and filled the casks.



It'll be ready for sale in ten days .......

cycle lane update

The ludicrous decision to put in a new cycle lane in Brighton has been given the go-ahead by the council. The 1 mile stretch will cost £640,000 to complete.

I suppose an insane scheme needs an insane price?

consistency

You've got to love the mixed messages from the #occupylsx protest. On the one hand there are people there demanding an end to cuts (and by implication increased borrowing and debt) and on the other you've got this bloke



When you've made up your minds what exactly it is you're hoping to achieve can you appoint a spokesperson to tell the rest of us? Thanks.

early drinkers

The Argus jumps in to the anti-alcohol arena with this completely impartial article. The language used in the piece such as customers desperate for their morning fix and drinking hotspots is all very negatively slanted. From reading it you would think that anyone who goes into a pub *must* be an alcoholic.

Donna Coe, the landlady interviewed, makes a very good point though. She says

“If you look at the age of our customers a lot of this is about people who have no one at home and just want the company. It's not really about the alcohol.”

That for me is the crucial point. Many of these early morning drinkers are old, divorced or widowed, and they congregate in a neutral social setting so that they can chat with other similarly positioned people. I know the pub she runs as I grew up about a mile away from it. The early morning drinkers might sit and nurse a pint for hours at a time so that they can chat endlessly about stuff that makes my ears bleed. Then they go and 'do a bit of shopping' before getting the bus home again.

one for the carpet munchers

imminent catastrophic event?

According to the Independent there are signs that another Icelandic volcano is about to erupt. And if it does it will make Eyjafjallajokul's 2010 eruption seem "small".



Eeek!

exam grades to fall under Gove?

The Guardian covers a speech by Michael Gove to a conference on standards arranged by exams watchdog Ofqual in central London today. Apart from suggesting that only a fixed proportion of students each year could attain an A* grade in each subject (I agree this would be a good thing) he is quoted as saying

"We might have a year – even a year while I'm still in office – where GCSE and A-level results dip. Where fewer students get A-stars, fewer students get As. When that happens, there will be an inevitable pointing of fingers, mostly in my direction: 'You're presiding over a decline, you're presiding over failure.'

Well, I won't believe that's true for a moment. I believe that our children and our teachers will be doing better than ever. But I think that if our exams system is accurate, precise, demanding and world-class, there will be years where performance will dip as well as rise."

Gob/Smacked.

For years we have had, under successive governments, a consistent rise in exam grades as each year the Education Secretary tries to persuade us that they're doing a far better job than their predecessors in managing the education of the children of this country. And then BOOM! Along comes Gove and says that improving grades isn't as important as improving the education those children receive. I think I quite like him*.






*Assuming that he can actually deliver this idea, putting educational standards in front of grade inflation. I'm prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt for the moment ......

motor insurance claim

A friend of mine was recently involved in a car accident. He was sitting in his car, completely stationary, and someone reversed into him. The other party immediately got out, apologised, admitted liability and said not to worry the insurance would sort it out. Nice and simple, clear cut, no arguments, all friendly.

Friend calls Adrian Flux, his insurance broker, who takes his details and says no problem. The insurers then hand the case over to AI Claims Solutions, and that's where his problems began. AI claim to be

An industry-leading service

who provide

efficient, proactive, customer focussed and ethically managed service for non fault motor claimants

Having listened to him receive call after call after call from this "efficient" service asking him for the same details over and over again can I beg to differ? AI Claims Solutions are fucking useless.

I'm about to renew my insurance and one question my broker is going to get asked is "If I have to claim will it be handled by AI Claims Solutions?". If they answer yes I'm going to go elsewhere. I strongly suggest you do the same. Utter cunts.

cigarette illusion

Which one of the two cigarettes is bigger?







Are you sure?












seen, along with loads of other optical illusions, here

Swanswell

Another day, another fakecharity alcohol scare story on the BBC.

The advice on alcohol limits is too confusing according to Debbie Bannigan, head of the charity Swanswell. She says that 'units' mean nothing to many people - and the guidance should be clearer and easier to remember.

In this week's Scrubbing Up, she says that to have a daily "safe" amount is misleading and that some people - including pregnant women and drivers - should be told "no alcohol is best".

Swanswell are not a charity in the true sense of the word. They are a service provider for the public sector paid for from public sector funds. Their accounts (.pdf) are particularly coy about stating precisely where their income comes from. In the year ending 2010 they received just over £6million, of which a paltry £1629 came from 'donations'.

You have to admire the writer though as she manages to get most of the prevalent temperance messages into the piece

"no alcohol is best"

even though statistically teetotallers are less healthy than moderate drinkers

And the concept of a daily safe amount may even encourage the idea that we should drink alcohol every day.

there's nothing wrong in drinking a small amount of alcohol every day if that's what the individual chooses to do

people are confused about the impact alcohol can have on their lives

well yes they are but why? Maybe because of the amount of ridiculous temperance literature being produced to scare them?

walk into any supermarket and you'll be encouraged to buy alcohol

or bread, or fruit, or vegetables. Those dastardly bastards in the Tesco marketing department cunningly placing goods we can purchase on display! Whatever next!

purchasing alcohol is just part of the weekly shop rather than something that we have to think about doing.

in the same way that we don't think about anything else that we purchase from the supermarket. Oh wait, yes we do! People make choices. I shop frequently but rarely buy alcohol for home consumption. Why? Because I prefer to drink in a social setting like a pub or beer garden. It doesn't matter how many displays of alcoholic drinks there are I'm not going to buy it if I don't want to.

A zero limit for drivers, pregnant women and children avoids confusion and helps us all to take responsibility

A zero limit will not avoid confusion all the while that alcohol is present in things such as medicines. Unless you are proposing that anyone on cough medicine is prevented from driving?

We shouldn't be afraid of setting clear guidelines and sticking to them

We already have guidelines that, to anyone with average intelligence, are clear as fucking day. The problem isn't the guidelines but that each one of us is different. You cannot legislate precisely to cover every eventuality unless you apply a totalitarian ban. Is that what you're really after I wonder?

alcohol saves life

From the Argus

A university fresher survived a 20ft fall unharmed “because he was drunk”.

Strangely this story wasn't picked up by the national media. Can't think why ........

its genetic innit

I've screengrabbed this article from the Indy today because it's so shocking, so utterly against the 'control everything' lobby, that I doubt it will survive for long. The implications of it are profound.

What it isn't saying, although the thought is implied by the article, is that the current 'wave of obesity' is caused by fatties producing offspring. It's genetic you see? All of the slimming industry, the anti-fats-in-food movement have just had the rug pulled out from underneath their funding if this research is correct. The real 'solution' to reduce obesity is to stop them breeding.

And no I'm not suggesting that should happen. I'm just saying that things like the fat tax are pointless as they aren't going to have any effect at all. Unless the overweight become too hungry to be able to breed.

and then they were gone

Lansley is at it again.

From today, the sale of tobacco from vending machines is prohibited across England. The ban has been introduced to prevent under-age sales to children and to support adults who are trying to quit.

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley said:

“Cigarette vending machines are often unsupervised, making it easy for children to purchase cigarettes from them. The ban on cigarette sales from vending machines will protect children by making cigarettes less accessible to them - we want to do everything we can to encourage young people not to start smoking in the first place.”

The majority of the press release focusses heavily on the "save the chiiildren" message. Read it for yourself if you haven't already seen it regurgitated by lazy journalists in the MSM.

Don't misunderstand; I'm not a fan over overpriced vending machine fags but they serve a purpose. If you're in the pub late and all of the local shops are closed it's a safe solution to the desire to purchase fags, rather than staggering down the street looking for a 24 hour convenience shop or petrol station.

In fact when you look down at the 'notes for editors' in that press release number 4 is quite revealing. The vast majority of the machines were in places that under 18's are unlikely to be present unattended.

Industry information suggests that 78 per cent of cigarette vending machines are located in public houses, 10 per cent in clubs, 7 per cent in hotels or restaurants, 3 per cent in shops, 1 per cent in bingo halls and 1 per cent elsewhere.

Why does this current administration seem so hell bent on continuing the work of the previous incumbents in their efforts to destroy pubs and businesses associated with them?

ties

On my journey into brewerying I've encountered a frustrating situation many times. I've gone into a pub that proclaims to be a free house but in reality is owned and leased by a pubco. In my experience Enterprise seems to be the pubco that does that most frequently in this area. I'm not going to name specific houses because often the landlords are as frustrated with the situation as I am but next time you're in what you think is a free house ask them - you might be unpleasantly surprised.

The really painful thing is that SIBA, the Small Independent Brewers Association, seems to me to be in collusion with the likes of Enterprise in an effort to screw over the landlords. I can sell to an Enterprise pub but only if Enterprise allow it and only if I use SIBA DDS (direct delivery system). Under that system I would sell and deliver beers to the pubs but invoice Enterprise. Enterprise will then invoice the pub, often with a 100% mark-up. To me that seems utterly obscene. I'm not sure how SIBA think this arrangement is benefiting its members as Enterprise makes vastly more profit from each transaction than the brewery. Yes, I know, the landlord was not forced to sign the contract just as I'm not forced to sell to them.

Things, however, might be about to change.

I was at a mate's wedding last weekend and got talking to another guest over a pint or two of my beer (he was very complementary about it before he knew it was mine). He works for a large and well known brewer in Scotland that also owns a large estate of pubs. They're worried about declining sales and are looking for ways to boost their turnover. They've identified a desire within the real ale community to drink local beers and, even though they are more well known for other drinks, they are taking steps to encourage people back into their pubs.

One of their solutions is to send reps round to all of their tied houses to examine the quality of service and product and offer coaching where necessary. Another is to examine the range of beers available and encourage the landlord to form direct relationships with local breweries. By encouraging diversity they hope to encourage people to return to the pubs. The value of the transactions with a local microbrewery will be offset by the extra revenue generated by having busier pubs in their estate.

If this proves successful for them then it could pave the way for other pubcos to adopt the same strategy. Now wouldn't that make things interesting?

a theory

According to Hoops' theory on women the larger the gap between the front teeth the dirtier the woman is in bed.



As he refuses to publish his research for others to verify it's impossible to confirm his results although I'm now in a position to conduct my own experiments ......

cakedar

cakedar [keyk-dahr] (noun)

definition
1. The ability of many seasoned mountain bikers to locate cake.

usage
1. (negative, conversational) I couldn't find the bakery as my cakedar is a bit fucked up at the moment.
2. (positive, conversational) He leads the group of riders as he has the most sensitive cakedar.

new addition to the bogroll

Can I recommend you add Mother Blogger to your read list? She may have only taken a few tentative steps in the world of blogging but already she's proving articulate and intelligent.

Oh, and, she's a mate too.